Inexplicable Things Relatives Say

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I remember, walking across my Nan’s lawn, aged six and a half, to greet my great-grandmother who was perched on one of those funny garden deck chair things, (the ones that folded out, all poky metal and blue stripey plasticy material seat) eating a cress sandwich.

As I walked into her line of vision, she exclaimed, so it tringed across the garden,

‘Doesn’t she look like Princess Anne?’

I was six. I was wearing flowery culottes (summer 1992) I had a scrunchie in my hair.

How the fuck did I look like Princess Anne?!!

I would continue, in her eyes, to look like Princess Anne for the next 22 years. Even when shown a picture of me in my graduation gown she (90 at the time) grasped my hand, milky-eyed, and whispered ‘oh you could be Princess Anne!’

After she died I sort of missed her saying it so I looked up photos of a young Princess Anne.

I don’t and have never looked remotely like Princess Anne.

My grandmas sister on seeing both my cousin and I after having our hair cut
"What have you both done to your hair? You look like birds."

My mum likes to remark on people's weight. She was telling me how my sister has put on loads of weight and her arse is apparently huge. I have seen my sister recently and she's now a size 10 rather than 8, not remotely huge. I remarked to my mum that I would hate to hear what you say about me (as I'm a size 14) and she said oh no we're used to you! Lovely woman she is.

As someone said, what is it (WAS it) about grandmothers??? I had a nana of my school friend Carol say to me, 'ello you're zee are you?' And I said 'Yes Mrs Barnes.' She continued... 'you look like that friend of Carol's ....whassername..... ??? Mandy! Same big round face.'

I also had a neighbour tell my mother (when I was eleven or so,) 'Zee's getting a bit fat isn't she? Must be the puberty.'

I also had a couple of aunts when I was about 12 or 13, TELLING me 'you need to help yer mother more in the house! Burn some of that fat off ya!'

I was a tad plump (think 5 ft 5 inches tall, and 10 stone 10 lbs, so not massive, but more slightly plump...) and these comments made me upset, and at 15, I went on a crash diet - worst decision ever, as it resulted in many years of me suffering from an eating disorder (it still affects me now even in middle age!)

Finally, after dropping to 9 stone, on this hideous 'crash diet' I started dating a boy when I was 16. (He was 19.) Third date in, we were sitting on my couch at my parents house, and he squeezed me round the waist, looked into my eyes, and said 'you've got a little bit of fat there!' with a stupid grin.

I felt myself getting flushed in the face with embarrassment and anger. He then said 'you can pinch an inch then?' with another grin. I said 'I'm not fat!' He said 'no I didn't say you were, and anyway, it's easy to lose it, just exercise more.' Cue another grin.

I got up off the couch and said 'get OUT!' He looked shocked and said 'eh? what?' I said 'out of my house now, I can't be doing with this. OUT.' He was completely baffled as to why I was throwing him out!' He looked confused and hurt, and left quickly. Long story short I ended it then. He badgered me for a week or two then gave up. I never told him why I booted him out and dumped him, but he must have been pretty thick to have not worked it out!

Upshot is, why the fuck do people think it's OK to make comments about a person's appearance, especially their bloody WEIGHT?

Some rude people around! zee you dodged a bullet with that boyfriend when you were 16. If he thought you had 'extra fat' at 9 stone, he would have nagged you non stop, (about your weight,) no matter how thin you got, and you'd have never have had any peace.

And bobstersmum, your mother sounds rude too. Sadly, it's not uncommon for relatives to be rude like this.

My friend is a manager at a big store and is only 28 years old. She has a lot of responsibility, and has worked hard since she started at 16. She is also on £40K. Very good for the area she lives in, (and for a 28 year old who has no education past GCSE level.)

Yet her grandmother sees fit to comment on how she 'hasn't done very well for herself' and it's a shame she isn't a nurse like her clever hard-working cousin.

Being a nurse is a wonderful career that deserves respect, but it's not for everyone, and not everyone wants to do it.

As for the comments everyone has had to deal with about their weight; that's terrible. As many posters have said, it can - and does - have a profound effect on someone if people criticise their weight. Both mentally,and physically.