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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He lied! AIBU to feel a bit down?

75 replies

Notrusthere · 08/11/2018 21:26

DD has karate tonight and I take her. We would normally get home around 8.

Tonight it was cancelled so we got home an hour early.

DH wasn't in which was odd because he usually gets home about 5.30.

I got DD to bed and then rang him.

Conversation went something like this:

"Hi are you ok?"
"Yes fine are you?"
"Yes I'm ok. What are you upto?"
"I'm just at home, not been back long....."

Fucking liar!! He wasn't at home, I was there!!

Long story short when confronted he said he had gone out for a drink with work friends and didn't want to tell me (why?!)

I have never ever had an issue with him going out for a drink after work,actually I would encourage it.

He's said he's sorry, shouldn't have lied

I assumed the worst to be honest (affair) but he let me look at his.phone when I asked so I think he was telling the truth...but what the he'll!

WIBU to think the worst and AIBU to still feel that a bit of trust has gone?

Name change btw

OP posts:
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 08/11/2018 21:27

I'd feel the same as you, really disappointed in him.

AtrociousCircumstance · 08/11/2018 21:28

Yes, affair. Blatant lie. No reason to at all to lie if it was just a drink with colleagues. He had something to hide, and he hid it. That would shatter trust.

Sorry OP, that’s crap.

PiedOff · 08/11/2018 21:30

Wanker

Original poster
Notrusthere · 08/11/2018 21:31

I feel pretty shitty to be honest

OP posts:
letsdolunch321 · 08/11/2018 21:34

If he was mine he would be sleeping on the sofa for a good few nights.

Why did he feel the need to lie !!

BadgersBiggestFan · 08/11/2018 21:36

Affair

LightningOne · 08/11/2018 21:36

Hmm sounds very suspicious..
Did he know that you knew he was lying before he got home to show you his phone? In which case, it's highly likely he could have deleted any evidence of a possible affair before showing you.. or he has another phone for that kinda thing that he keeps wells hidden?

Original poster
Notrusthere · 08/11/2018 21:37

I have no idea! He said he felt bad that he had gone out and not been back to clean up and stuff (He never really does that anyway!)

I honestly don't care if he goes out...I like having the tv to myself to be Honest. I do believe him because he said he would get his friend to text me to prove he was with him but that would just make me look like a lunatic so not going to do that!

OP posts:
Original poster
Notrusthere · 08/11/2018 21:38

Lightning...yes he knew, and that had crossed my mind 😔

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 08/11/2018 21:39

Or he would get his friend to lie for him?

Whisky2014 · 08/11/2018 21:41

Check his online phone bill for clues?

Santaispolishinghissleigh · 08/11/2018 21:42

Adults don't suggest getting an alibi surely??
Sounds like he is trying to make you feel shit for being suspicious.

Because he is guilty.

AmIFalling · 08/11/2018 21:42

Did u check his phone? I want to say I'd believe him but it is very strange that he lied 🙁

AmIFalling · 08/11/2018 21:43

And I wouldn't believe the alibi, male friends seem to tend to lie for other male friends

Original poster
Notrusthere · 08/11/2018 21:45

I checked his phone, nothing to report but I'm not daft and I know he could have deleted everything before he got home.

This fucking sucks.

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 08/11/2018 21:45

Dodgy AF. Especially if he knows you wouldn't be arsed if he went for a drink after work.

gamerchick · 08/11/2018 21:45

I do believe him because he said he would get his friend to text me to prove he was with him but that would just make me look like a lunatic so not going to do that!

They always say that because they know you won't. Take him up on it, my money will be him either bringing up something to distract you or he'll stamp about about you not trusting him.

Your brain won't let this lie now.

Original poster
Notrusthere · 08/11/2018 21:46

If I had ever kicked off or even cared that he went out after work I would understand, but I never have!!

OP posts:
AmIFalling · 08/11/2018 21:47

Before he has a chance to prep an alibi friend get him to call him, on speaker phone. If the friend sounds 'what the fuck' like then it's an instant giveaway?

magoria · 08/11/2018 21:49

Bet he knew you wouldn't accept his offer to get an alibi from his friend.

AnyFucker · 08/11/2018 21:50

Hmm...

BeeBombus · 08/11/2018 21:56

Checking phone bill the best suggestion

RCohle · 08/11/2018 21:57

I'm really sorry you're going through this OP.

Have you got any other suspicions? A one off lie about going to pub doesn't necessarily scream affair to me, he might just genuinely feel guilty about "slacking" whilst you're looking after your DD. However, the fact that you feel really shaken and upset about this makes me wonder if there are other issues giving you pause? Being able to have absolute confidence in your spouse's fidelity is really important I think.

janaus · 08/11/2018 21:58

He probably goes out every time you take DD to karate. Just got caught this time.

LaBelleSauvage · 08/11/2018 21:59

Really sorry OP that sounds awful. I'd be devastated :(
YANBU

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