He lied! AIBU to feel a bit down?

[Notrusthere]

DD has karate tonight and I take her. We would normally get home around 8.

Tonight it was cancelled so we got home an hour early.

DH wasn't in which was odd because he usually gets home about 5.30.

I got DD to bed and then rang him.

Conversation went something like this:

"Hi are you ok?"
"Yes fine are you?"
"Yes I'm ok. What are you upto?"
"I'm just at home, not been back long....."

Fucking liar!! He wasn't at home, I was there!!

Long story short when confronted he said he had gone out for a drink with work friends and didn't want to tell me (why?!)

I have never ever had an issue with him going out for a drink after work,actually I would encourage it.

He's said he's sorry, shouldn't have lied

I assumed the worst to be honest (affair) but he let me look at his.phone when I asked so I think he was telling the truth...but what the he'll!

WIBU to think the worst and AIBU to still feel that a bit of trust has gone?

Name change btw

Wouldn't believe him for a second OP. His friend will have been prepped to lie for him.

That is really crappy. I’d be very suspicious.

I'd not be happy

I wouldn’t leap to the ‘affair’ assumption myself. He probably did just go for a drink with his mates.

I'd find it incredibly odd if my boyfriend lied to me about where he was, there's no need to as he's a grown up and doesn't need to ask my permission to do anything.

I'd be suspicious too OP.

Yes, an affair. The messages were pre deleted. The friend alibi was set up.

Sit tight and do a little digging.

I wouldn't jump to an affair either, but would definitely think he was doing something he knew would upset you if you find out. Maybe he's in a casino or strip club, or he's been invited to a house party by female colleagues ? ?

...although, IF he was cheating, why wouldn't he have just said he was out for drinks with work friends in the first place?! That's a much easier albi than having to rush home before you get back at 8pm?

Nope. Not buying that. Hidden Apps, burner phone...

From now on, he can take DD to karate and stay there while she’s doing her thing.

It’s not much to hang him on, but it’s not nothing either.

I can't believe MN always jumping to the affair conclusion.

He prob goes out every week whilst you are on the karate run, gets in 5 mins before and makes himself look busy/relaxed depending.

Maybe he just feels guilty that you're taxi mum for the kids and he's in the pub.

All this prepping mates, burner phone yada yada will drive you insane.

Have you ever had any other previous suspicions? If not just put him on karate duty for the next few weeks.

Well, no proof of an affair, but it either that or he is a mythomaniac. Personally I think I could get over an affair easier than having to live my life with a mythomaniac

Smell his cock, check hairs on his clothes, check his mileage on the car, .. why would he lie, he’s got a spare phone, so he lets you check his main phone. He’s been caught out so he wobbled. Check his pockets, check the bills ... watch him like a hawk from now on . Poor guy lol.

googles mythomaniac - how very dramatic.

Maybe he just wanted some time out.

Karate run for him for the forseseeable future - make sure you have plans OP!

eyes wonky - of course there aren't 3 e's in see e hic

mythomania. noun. psychiatry the tendency to lie, exaggerate, or relate incredible imaginary adventures as if they had really happened, occurring in some mental disorders.

Biscuit taken.

So when you rang him was there no background noise?

He's being dodgy.

I'd be looking at bank statement. Any transactions at the pub?

Also my ex conducted his affair by email. Mostly covered his tracks but forgot about sent items.

Sorry cos it's awful but there was a drama on tv about prostitution and it said Thursdays are busiest night cos the wives are out shopping. I never thought my ex would do it but after discovering the affair I digged deeper and found his emails to escorts.

Same as what, Itsnotme123 said

smell his cock

I remember doing something very strange like this years and years ago!! Told my boyfriend I was at home when he asked but I wasn't I was just at the supermarket or somewhere!! I had no reason to lie and don't even know why I did! I wasn't hiding anything. I think I just thought I was going to get a lecture and couldn't be bothered but i really wasn't hiding anything so maybe it's something similar!!

So something that's playing on my mind...

When I phoned him (and he said he was at home) he told me he was on the bus. But there was no background noise, and why would you say I'm home if you were on the bus and there would be a risk of background noise?!

Could he have been in someone's car? He walked in about 10 minutes after the call

Probably.

Ok so I said the same advice as what 123 said but having read she said smell his cock (this is very extreme) I would NOT recommend this part of her advice!!😬. No offence 123 😂

He let you check his phone? That's a bit odd in itself. As if anything incriminating would still be there. What does he take you for?

Did you confront him when he got home or when you were on the phone? Sorry I'm confused about the bus.