Single parent about to drop out of work-gutted and frightened

[Steakandkidney]

Hi as title suggests.
I'm really low about this.
My exH left when I was 3 months pregnant with DC4.
I had just finished my degree.
I was on benefits during the pregnancy then when the baby was 2 months old was offered a lovely job which I took (had awful PND-still do). I then had to take unpaid leave due to caring commitments of disabled son. During this time I was on income support, I still got carers allowance, housing benefit, council tax benefit and child tax credits. I was stable and able to care for the kids properly.
I went back in October. I have lost my income support, council tax and housing benefit, and carers allowance, all of which have closed. My wages are 614 pounds a month (think apprenticeship type role).

An expectation is now that I have to do evening work. I love the job, there's room for progression but I have no contact with ExH and no family. I have a 16 year old who babysits but no one to properly look after them. My DM is toxic and I recently went NC because I couldn't take it, I can imagine her sneering at me having to quit.
Basically, I'm going to have to quit aren't I. To go back on benefits on half the money I was on before because it will mean UC, I wish I'd not bothered going back but I love my job. The thought of being on benefits with nothing to do makes me want to cry. I'm clever and great at what I do, and I'm going to be trapped doing nothing because there is no proper childcare available. I'm such an idiot.
Is there any future here, what do I do?
I have always been of the 'where there's a will' school of thought but have come to realise that as a woman with children, it's bollocks.
TIA.

It’s. moody horrible trying to navigate this.

Are working tax credits an option? That will pay a chunk of childcare so you can use a childminder or nursery?

I don't know what sort of work you do, OP, but is there anything you can do working from home? Maybe you were a bit over optimistic thinking you could go back to work with 4 DC - especially if one's a baby and one has disabilities. Ex-H should be paying maintenance, so contact CMS to get the ball rolling. So sad for you.

Could you pay a babysitter occasionally to ease things for the 16yo?

Sorry but it's not realistic to work from home in the presence of 4 children. No sane employer would agree to it as there is no way anyone could be reasonably productive while looking after 4 kids.

People always mention something from home that poster could do in these situations. Well id be interested to know what she could do from home that really pays the bills.

Does your ex pay any maintenance?

Just be aware that it's universal credit now! Takes up to 5 weeks before you receive any money apparently x

Might your employers reconsider the expectation for evening work in your case on the basis of your caring role? You can make a flexible working request, although the employer can turn it down if they have business reasons to do so.

Roughly what are your DCs ages Steak?
Is your degree related to your job?

Have you had benefits advice? Earning £609 pcm without children will not have taken you out of entitlement. Before quitting your job please go and get some face to face advice, or if you don’t have time try one of the online benefit calculators. If you’re now in a full service UC area it does complicate matters but all is not lost. Did HB not reasses your claim based on earnings? Def think you need advice. Also there would will be TC entitlement with earnings so low. Feel free to PM me

*should say WITH 4 children

Talk to your employer as they may well decide a flexible working agreement is better than losing a good employee. Given how low your wage is, there should be a good chance of getting childcare credits etc. Check for this. If you do end up on UC, it's also worth pushing to speed up payment and emphasize you have children at home that need food. According to recent articles, jobcentre staff can authorize bridging payments. Check with Cabe about this, as the bloody beauracracy gets worse by the day. Are you claiming anything for your disabled child? Your ex also needs to start paying for them.

I earn £730pm and I still get around £100pm housing benefit so you definitely should get some! Did the council assess your earnings properly? Do you get tax credits currently?

Could you cope space wise with a live in aupair? Some of the benefits you mentioned are not related to income so you could apply for PIP for example for your disabled child. Also, lots of children's activities give discounts with WTC, I know for eg: that my local Kumon centre and my son's football club do. Good luck x

Hi.
No room for an au pair, 2 bed house I sleep on sofa bed.
Can't work from home. I'm a trained professional but job is working towards a higher qualification as a training programme-hence low income.
When I started work again because I'd been off on a temporary basis, ie for caring responsibilities, when I returned they were closed. So I cannot put in new claims, it would be UC.
Kids are 14 10 10 and 3
Son gets DLA but due a renewal. Which I requested, stupidly, because it was long term and I was scared of an overpayment even though he is still as bad as ever. PND makes me anxious, I've been discharged from services but still finding it hard.

No chance of maintenance ever. No contact and not in the country. Previous DV and not allowed round children by SS order.

As you have more than two children you would currently still be under the old benefits (not universal credit even in full service universal credit area). That is due to change
www.gov.uk/universal-credit/eligibility

Reminder to make sure that they know that your child has DLA so you should not have any benefit cap applied

www.gov.uk/benefit-cap/when-youre-not-affected

Is the night work new, or did you know that it was coming? You could try negotiating with your employer?

As regards the DLA start getting medical letters/things from school or nursery together. Citizens advice or another welfare organisation may be able to help you to complete it.

I don’t think you’ll be able to claim uc as you have more than two children. You’ll claim tax credits and/or other old benefits, won’t you?

www.gov.uk/guidance/universal-credit-and-families-with-more-than-2-children-information-for-claimants

Definitely get some advice from CAB or similar.

Just to add Universal credit is due to be rolled out for families with three or more children in January 2019 (already covers some three children households if previously claimed universal credit.)

You need advice now to claim the old style benefits before UC rolls out for family’s with more than 2 children. You will be able to stay in your job you will be entitled to other benefits and you will be better off.

If you delay and have to claim UC you will definitely lose out. What welfare rights provision do you have where you live?

Sorry I think I’ve just repeated others advice.

Is your DH paying maintenance? If not got through the courts for a start!

Because you have more than 2 children you can still claim tax credits and housing benefit/council tax benefit.
If you can find an evening babysitter/childminder who is registered you can claim childcare tax credit. Try your local council, they should have a list of registered childminders.

You need to discuss it with your employer - you are entitled to request flexible working. Is the evening work a part of your contract?
If you are happy for the 16 year old to babysit for an evening out, why would an evenings work be more of a problem? Would their mum/dad agree to be backup?

I'm sure everyone I spoke to previously talked about UC.
Does the old style benefits include Income Support? I think carers is separate.
I think if what you all say is correct, and I can go back what I was on before, then I should do so now before January, and use the time to get a more suitable job. Does that sound a good idea? I just want security for my children.
I knew the nights were coming but have always managed before, because I was married. On my own it's a different story entirely.
I think I'll get some welfare advice asap tomorrow. I can't work these hours without significant stress to my children.

Nana don't worry about repeating I'm grateful for any comments at all x