Does everyone on MN - except me - have a high flying highly paid highly stressful job

[IamtheMistressofmyFate]

Is anyone a hairdresser married to a mechanic? Nursery nurse married to a delivery driver?

I keep reading about women having to go back to work or they'll fall off the career ladder and never recover. Everyone seems so BUSY and STRESSED and high flying. Or they've burnt out and have downsized so they can bake bread.

Is anyone else just pootling along like me - not setting the world alight with their brilliance and ambition?

Oh, I didn't know that it was a classic Mumsnet accusation, I've only been on it a few weeks, since being in the UK!

I don't lie or exaggerate myself, so I don't tend to assume that other people are. But then again, I don't get so invested that I give a crap one way or another (NOT meaning to imply that you are!!!!!), so it's no skin off my nose if they're telling porkies!

I might have served you at a box office OP and I am a MNer 😊

DH works in housing and I work in arts admin, we are on average salaries (him a bit higher but only recently) and "just about managing". He works family friendly hours and we share childcare and housework as far as practicable.

There being so many of us is the reason I'm surprised people find it inherently implausible that there are lots of high earners on here. If there's a group in the UK population that's six figures plus and a site with 12 million users, you'd expect a few of them to be on that site. It'd be a surprise if they weren't. Especially if you think about how many people are actually stating they have high incomes, loads of holidays etc.

I'm not saying nobody is bullshitting, indeed I can think of some bready and artistic examples, as well as at least one who'd constructed a fantasy life with a more modest income. I'm just surprised people find the idea of a few dozen high earners/spouses of such being on here and posting about it to be necessarily unlikely.

Sorry, but you didnt sound bitter and jealous until you "replicated" the holiday thread. Then you really did.

The same way you are happy pootling along in life is the same way those high flyers are happy doing what they do, having their 47264836 holidays a year. Live and let live. Its really not that deep

I thought the replicated holiday thread post was funny...

I dont think im bitter and jealous, i might be...nah

Bitter and jealous is a classic Mumsnet accusation

Bert's right. People are always chucking that accusation about on here - it's tedious. I'm neither bitter nor jealous but was happy to accept by way of apology from mbosnz. Welcome to MN btw - you'll be getting called a c*nt before you know it.

I have quite a stressful and reasonably highly paid job in the finance industry, but I wouldn't say I was a "high flyer" really.

My DH works in trades, so my salary pays the mortgage and bills and what he earns goes on housekeeping, food, meals out and holidays. But he also does everything at home - no DC but he cleans, cooks, shops, repairs and maintains (the beauty of a practical person). I am a lazy fuck whose only responsibilities outside work are the garden, the washing and the survival of the dog.

We have a smallish house and a modest vehicle each, and a small caravan that we use for holidays. Not exactly big spenders.

My DH earns a good wage as a computer analyst and I'm self employed as a domestic cleaner/gardener. Don't make more than £500 a month, but it takes the pressure off the household budget.
I'd rather be self employed as I'm the one on call for collecting the DDs from school or college or dealing with any emergencies.

Reasonably well paid. No stress though as I work for myself.

I sat down to meditate earlier for 5 minutes and dozed off.

IamtheMistressofmyFate - thank you! And thank you for the cake. . .

I'll really know I've been accepted when I've been called a c*nt. . .

what do people class as a high flier?

I thought the replicated holiday post was spot on :o

Though there's also always someone on those threads claiming that clever booking will get you a 3 week family holiday in an incredibly expensive location for 37p ...

I'm a perpetual student. I can't work due to disability so do courses instead. Primarily so I can avoid the stigma that not working brings.

I confess that sometimes I'm bitter and jealous of posters climbing up the career ladder seeing as I can't even find the bottom rung of the bloody thing. But then I cop on and realise I'm actually really lucky because my DH is a diamond and we can comfortable manage on his salary and have a nice, simple life together. No weekends away in NY but no debt either.

I know what you mean bollockstobrexit.

I'd have loved a better crack at having a career myself, but it was not to be.

And even though I know our relationship is as solid as a rock, it's a bit scary being so dependent on DH, financially. I worry about if something happened to him, because yes, we don't have great savings to fall back on. We do have income and life insurance, but still. And then there's if he ran out of a job. . .

Especially with the kids being older, I feel increasingly irrelevant. I'd love to get back into at least part-time work sooner rather than later, but I think I've got to get everyone settled first. And get my physical health sorted out, which is somewhat poor.

See I'm far too lazy to be a high flier (whatever that may actually be). There is no job on earth that I'd want to be in past 5pm. 5.30 at a push!

Here's a thread from a couple of years ago where salaries were given and very much not SAHM / 100k+ high flyers. Lots of very middling salaries

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/employment_issues/2802851-What-salary-are-you-on

MN has an identity, all communities do.

I've been here probably nearly 10 years now and it's changed A LOT over that time, but it certainly started out being predominantly well-educated women, often with professional jobs>

There seems to be a higher than average number of people who work in media/publishing etc, which together with the well educated element means MN has always had an ethos of high quality writing, good grammar etc in the posts. That's certainly one of the things that drew me in to begin with - it was some of the best 'female voice' writing around, as you might find on The Pool or similar.

I'd say the majority of posters used to be quite unoffendable, witty with a dry sense of humour, left of centre politics and a good knowledge of politics and world affairs.

Put all that together and it's not surprising there's a higher than average income level/educational aspirations/grammar nazi quota etc.

As the site's got bigger, it's become a lot more broad, but that basic ethos is still there. it's why we don't call each other hun and use text speak like The Other Site

I am a dinner lady married to a mechanic

@TooTrueToBeGood apparantly the source of the 1% stat is ONS, but I haven't managed to find it on ONS website.

According to HMRC, in 2014-15, 10% of taxpayers had an income before tax of less than £12,200, while the median income was £22,400. At the upper end of the distribution, 10% of taxpayers had an income before tax of more than £51,400.

The soruce of the figs are from PAYE and self assessment, so could be skewed if people are not declaring all the income they shoud through self assessment.

Source: www.gov.uk/government/statistics/personal-incomes-statistics-tables-31-to-311-for-the-tax-year-2014-to-2015

I do think 90K is a very high salary whichever way you cut it!

Our household income is 16K, though was approx 60k before our circs changed. I now realise how much money I frittered away! We manage well on this, but we don't have a mortgage and we have good savings to cover things like the washing machine going kaput etc, so don't need that much to live comfortably.

itsabitwearing, what is supposed to be the top 1% income?

mbosnz; have just now found another fig that says if you earn more than 162K then you are in the top 1% of earners.

This is quite interesting.

www.ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

Thank you, I've been wondering that for a while now, watching 'Rich House, Poor House'.

And even though I know our relationship is as solid as a rock, it's a bit scary being so dependent on DH, financially. I worry about if something happened to him, because yes, we don't have great savings to fall back on. We do have income and life insurance, but still. And then there's if he ran out of a job. . .

DH is beginning to this I'm planning his demise because of the amount of life insurance I got him to take out. Dependency is a scary place to be even when the person you depend on is solid.