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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have a hierarchy of drinking vessels?

381 replies

mediumbrownmug · 07/11/2018 04:44

So up until I married, I genuinely thought that certain cups being for tea and others for coffee, etc. was a common practice. I myself have an (admittedly extensive) hierarchy of mugs/cups to be used for each drink. The breakdown is as follows:

Tea should be made in Particular Brown Mug (I have two).
If brown mugs are not available, tea may be made in either of two thin-walled Floral Mugs.
If these aren't available, tea can then AND ONLY THEN be made in one of the Taller White Mugs (we have eight).
If none of the above is available, an emergency dishwasher run needs to take place immediately, and in the meantime one of the bone china tea cups will come out with much fanfare (bone china not being toddler-compatible, they come out but rarely nowadays).

There's a similar hierarchy of coffee mugs. Juice and water also have particular cups, but they're not quite as stringently enforced. DH knows this and accepts it.

The problem is that DH has no Special Mugs. None. He has no issue whatsoever with my hierarchy of tumblers and has even painstakingly learned which ones to grab in various scenarios when he makes the drinks- but he doesn't have a mug that HE prefers. When I ask if he wants tea/coffee I have no idea what to give it to him in.

Wondering if he just hadn't "found the right one yet", I went ahead and purchased a Potential Special Mug for him as a present (he had been dropping hints that he wanted it) and he does like and use it, but refuses to insist that it, or any other drinking vessel, only be used for one particular beverage to the exclusion of all other mugs. I, coming from a long line of Special Mug lovers, find this lack of commitment odd.

By way of comparison, my DF still uses the same Special Mug that he's been drinking from for the past two decades. Even my DGPs each had their own Special Mug marked with nail polish in an inconspicuous spot to differentiate between the two identical mugs so they could tell whose was whose. AIBU to have a Special Mug, and provisions for when the said mug is unavailable? Blush

OP posts:
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CheshireChat · 11/11/2018 13:09

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes same here which is why I've assigned it for proper coffee which is a bit gritty imo at the bottom. Same with whole leaf tea so then it works out perfectly.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 11/11/2018 20:27

glad it's not just me, was beginning to think i have sloppy lips Grin

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 15/11/2018 12:03

I have picked up my favoured drinking vessel and seen that...brace yourselves... it’s been through the dishwasher!

Everyone knows this mug is HAND WASH ONLY.

It’s survived but I need a lie down.

sueelleker · 15/11/2018 12:34

My mugs are seasonal! I have a very pretty mug I bought in Portugal that has crocuses on it-I use that in the Spring. Summer and Autumn I use bone china mugs with a floral pattern. When the weather turns colder I switch to dumpy earthenware mugs which I can 'cuddle'.

CheshireChat · 15/11/2018 12:45

UnderMajorDomoMinor I'm lazy so my favourites are dishwasher safe Wink.

I've actually replaced my old favourite, but the new one isn't as cozy, but it's better than nothing.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 16/11/2018 14:26

I didn’t know it’s be a favourite! It’s one of these with a transfer which, if washed in the dishwasher over time, will fade. So I have declared it hand wash only.

I spoke to DH. He said it wasn’t him... it was.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 16/11/2018 14:28

FYI one of my top tier is a Christmas mug and I use it all year round. A good mug is too hard to find to be put away.

twoshedsjackson · 16/11/2018 15:22

My Christmas mugs come out on the First Sunday in Advent and go away on Twelfth Night, together with the Christmas teapot. Using them at other times is rude, like Christmas music being played too soon.
I also have a large breakfast mug for kickstarting the day, not to be used for the rest of the day, and all mugs must have thin walls. The smart ones which match the smart teapot are only for visitors.
I always suspected I was being weird about it, but so consoling to find other people who care.

CriticalCondition · 16/11/2018 18:31

I have a Christmas teacosy that comes out on 1st December. It has bells on. Blush

sueelleker · 16/11/2018 19:04

Painted bells or jingly ones?

CriticalCondition · 16/11/2018 23:05

Jingly. Blush Blush

CheshireChat · 17/11/2018 16:48

I am sooo jealous of the jingly tea cosy.

Pardalis · 17/11/2018 16:55

I also have a fork hierarchy. I have forks from the matching set but somehow have also acquired other forks. My favourite fork is not one of the matching ones

poshme · 17/11/2018 17:13

Tbh I think think people who don't have a mug hierarchy are a bit weird.

And drinking juice out of a mug??!! Arghh no. Cold drinks are from glasses.

I have a couple of favourite mugs. Luckily DH likes a different sort of mug (me- solid, straight sides, him- smaller cup with saucer or porcelain mug)

CriticalCondition · 17/11/2018 18:12

I am sooo jealous of the jingly tea cosy.

Etsy is your friend.

FFSFFSFFS · 17/11/2018 18:15

I was anticipating thinking this was a ludicrous thread.

Until I realised I have a very strictly followed sinking vessel hierarchy that it pains me to deviate from. I've just never been self aware about it.

And just realised there's a whole sock thing going on too....

CriticalCondition · 17/11/2018 18:26

Bit worried about your sinking vessel hierarchy, FFSFFSFFS.

Are you a secret agent with a handbag full of limpet mines?

FFSFFSFFS · 17/11/2018 18:51

Criticalcondition oh god I've revealed myself.

I've been radicalised by mumsnet.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/11/2018 20:49

I have a Christmas teacosy that comes out on 1st December. It has bells on

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/11/2018 20:51

I have at times been forced to drink tea out of a polystyrene cup

CheshireChat · 18/11/2018 02:39

CriticalCondition I might have to learn to crochet just so I can make one, simply because I have a cat teapot and a rabbit one and they could do with some coats WinkBlushGrin.

mathanxiety · 18/11/2018 03:55

Oh YES! The sock thing!
Anyone have a hierarchy of unmentionables too?

Bin85 · 18/11/2018 10:32

My dh has very strict rules for mugs and this has rubbed off on me a little bit
But also cutlery , bowls and plates!
Certain colour plates for certain food - he will change them if I get it wrong too.

Esker · 30/12/2018 18:46

Christmas edit: Did anyone else receive any non acceptable drinking vessels this Christmas? The thought of drinking from these clumsy huge blighters makes me feel queasy 😑

To have a hierarchy of drinking vessels?
Lemonyfuckit · 30/12/2018 19:03

My initial thought when I read the OP was oh for goodness sake you're mad, and that's very anally retentive. My sincere apologies OP because when I thought about it for a second longer I realised that I totally have a vessel hierarchy, deviation from it does upset me (I will take the mug out of the dishwasher and wash it, even though there's a cupboard straining to close for mugs) and if DP makes me a drink in one of the wrong mugs it's not as good, and this thread is wonderfully batshit and I love it (but also not having one would be weird, wouldn't it?).

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