does 9 yr old need to know the birds & bees? or still too young?

[staydazzling]

This really, i get questioned and give quite edited information but i wanted to wait til 10 but feel like he should know whilst simultaneously being quite horrified at the idea, i know some parents tell quite young now but im unsure and needing some advice.

If you’re in England then they normally do the basics of sex Ed in year 6 at school don’t they? I’d suggest giving a basic briefing before that. Usborne’s What’s Happening To Me book is good for that age group (it comes in boys and girls editions).

Why is being 10 years old so important? If he is 9 and asking questions, just answer them honestly.

Dd is 8 and I have started to have the conversation with her already, ex DPs GF has a DD who is 10 and was giving my DD her version of it! Thought I had better give her a more informed explanation than the one she was already receiving. I got this as I didn't know where to start

Let's Talk About Where Babies Come From: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families. Robie H Harris

Some kids have already started puberty at 9 (possibly including some of your child's classmates). Also, if you don't tell him, someone at school probably will. It's up to you, but I think there are good reasons to talk to him now.

My DS is eight he asked if sex was how you got babies. He said what is sex so I told him. He thought it was gross and never wants children.

Society thinks innocence and lack knowledge of sex is the same thing, it’s not, it’s just science.

Mine have known about sex since they asked how babies were made, aged three.

Oh we had already discussed sperm and eggs just not where they are “kept” and how they get together so when he asked about sex I didn’t need to do that but again.

I dunno where 10 came from i think its the age i learnt, i suppose its a wierd prudish old fashioned thing, like the last secret of childhood. Buut i will have to get on with it, despite my discomfort. I didn't like mummy laid an egg too graphic imo ill check.those out.

If he is asking questions, you need to answer them honestly. It's just science.

If he's not getting the information from you he'll get it from someone else and it might not be true.

My 8 year old isn't at all interested but I take the opportunities when I can to mention little bits. Haha!

My 9 yo has the book mentioned above as he was asking a lot of questions and being v and obviously interested in adult female bodies. We have some extremely frank chats - it's a little earlier than I would have liked but I'd prefer to be open and educate him fully than have him go sneaking about trying to find stuff out and stumbling on God knows what. Internet filters can't be 100 % foolproof. I do make it clear though that this kind of conversation is not to be had whilst wandering around Tesco and that we can talk about whatever he likes at appropriate and private times.

My four year old knows. What’s the fuss for? We’re animals.

About 3-4 years old here too. Get a book if you can't find the right words yourself.

I felt really guilty about my children not knowing so I told them when they were 9 & 7. Seemed quite old to be told really but maybe not.

Tell quite young now? My DM told me at 4 and that was in the 70s.

Also he's a boy. By 10 he'll have watched porn on a smartphone. Do you really want that to be his introduction to the world of sex and relationships?

My 7 and 9 year olds know. They are quite scandalised by it!

For me, it is all part and parcel of long-term, open conversations that are the antithesis of the repressed household I grew up in. Nothing is off limits here.

My main concern for telling him very early was the if the child said something or did something inappropriate to another child in innocence iyswim but im not worried about that anymore.

Stay - just be led by him. Don't make it a big thing. Next time a pregnant lady comes on TV just say "Do you know how the baby got there?" or similar. Having "The Talk" makes it a huge deal which it doesn't need to be.

Tell yourself "it's just science".

Do you mean concern that your son will say something sex related to another child?
If it's just generally sniggering because "sex is rude but we don't know why" then that's probably happening anyway.
If it's more than that, then surely you want those conversations to be based on truth?

If you are more concerned about inappropriate/unsafe activity then talking to him now will actually help to prevent that or give him the resources to manage it/talk to you.

At 9 a child should know enough about sex to be able to appropriately name their body parts and understand the underpants rule. I base this on 10 being the age of criminal responsibility so I think parents need to ensure their children are not put in a situation where they could act inappropriately without understanding the consequences and why it is inappropriate. Also a lot of children do start puberty early so I would rather my daughter is well prepared and things are just discussed factually so they become part of an open dialogue. If your child is starting to ask questions then it's a great time to answer honestly. Also most children start secondary school at 11 where they are exposed to more explicit information as well as playground banter. I'd give them factually correct info yourself because who knows what they'll pick up otherwise.

My DD’s teacher said in year 3, they are now going to introduce telling them about the basics of periods, puberty etc as it is important children are prepared early to help them deal with it a bit easier when they do go through it.

I am completely in agreement and don’t think it is too young at all. I started getting bad period pains in year 6 and remember feeling awful, as I didn’t feel there was anyone to ask about what was happening to me. I also remember reading a brilliant Usborne book called ‘Growing Up’ when I was a bit younger that explained it in a really easy and child-friendly way, and it prepared me so much better for what was to come.

If my DD is anything like me, the poor thing will prob start puberty in the next few years and have to deal with growing boobs etc before she leaves primary school.,, I am sure that she will be fine though. Just the other day, my DH said to her that he would talk to her one day about the ‘birds and the bees’.,. To which she replied in hushed tones, ‘There’s no such thing as that daddy, it’s called S-E-X!’ This is coming from a 7 year old..!

Considering many girls start their periods at 8 or 9, you really shouldn’t delay it further. The last thing any class needs is the idiot kid who thinks poking fun at a period stain is funny.

DS's year 1 teacher announced her pregnancy ... this led to A LOT of questions from an overactive and curious little mind. I just answered honestly and bought him a book.

You know i dont know if he knows what sex is? Or the word in any context, is that naiive? hes never used that word so im unsure. He knows all the parts he knows what a womb is and does know what periods are, even the purpise they serve so he does know some things im still explaining puberty to him atm he seems to get it ok.

I told my daughter this year and she's 9. She started asking questions and being more interested in relationships in general, so I had a conversation about love and families and different kind of relationships which naturally led onto the more biology sides of sex. It was all framed in a very loving family kind of way, and she seemed really satisfied with the answer.
I also explained about why it's important for parents to have that conversation with children and she understands not to go around telling her school friends.

The basics are covered at school next year but I wanted the full picture to come from us as I haven't seen what the school plans to show.

Planning to get books for periods/pregnancy and general puberty as I want to show pictures!