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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you didn't have an epidural?

353 replies

sachabloom · 06/11/2018 22:19

Currently 17 weeks and up until today has made the decision I wasn't getting an epidural, until someone asked me why I wasn't and to be honest I was a bit stumped! I guess my main reason is the fear of a bad back after... but I don't even know if that's a myth or truth?!

I haven't had a pain relief discussion with my midwife and as this is my first child, I'll be honest I'm quite in the dark.

Just curious really to hear of people's experiences as most people I've spoke to say no to epidural but I've never really asked why.

FWIW, absolutely no judgements from me, I think we're all fabulous however we do it.

OP posts:
hibbledibble · 07/11/2018 16:38

I didn't need one as the pain was manageable.

SweetheartNeckline · 07/11/2018 16:40

I decided I'd rather have epidural than opioid each time as I can't bear feeling sick, and wanted to breastfeed. Afaik epidural doesn't cause sleepiness in baby like opioids can do, but does increase risk of intervention, so my ideal would've been nothing.

DD1 I was put on syntocinon drip and was firmly advised to have an epidural at that point. Could still feel when to push, showered within the hour, no intervention, 1 stitch. Could've been home in 12 hours but DD had a heart murmur.

DD2 paracetamol only. No stitches or intervention.

DD3 epidural as she was back to back and I wasn't coping. Up and about within the hour, no intervention or stitches, home in 12 hours.

It's wise to think of your options but birth has a habit of going awry so don't rule anything out. As an experienced mum I wouldn't suggest talking to anyone other than DP and a few close friends about your birth plan - its not any of their business and you don't need their opinions.

EdisonLightBulb · 07/11/2018 16:40

I have a bad back, I didn't want to risk making it worse. I also had this irrational fear of being left paralysed.

Child birth is bloody painful but it's meant to be. I managed with gas and air and a Tens machine on from the first niggles of pain. I also had a shot of Pethidine with the first baby.

I had one very long and not so easy and one fairly quick and easy birth.

I am too old now for child birth, but I would do the same again.

agnurse · 07/11/2018 16:41

I should add that I did have a patient once who had an epidural. (We had a locum doctor who knew how to do them.) She was fortunately able to have a "walking epidural" - pain relief but no motor effects. At first, it was fantastic. She wasn't in any pain. Her water broken on the toilet and she, her husband, and I had a good laugh over that.

The problem started when she was fully dilated. An epidural (at least the one she had) doesn't numb your perineal area. Then she was in A LOT of pain. She also hadn't been prepared for it. See, usually the pain is worst when you're in transition (8-10 cm dilated). This is when many women feel very intense contractions and they start to feel they can't do it. Contractions are very strong and coming fast and furious. Once you're fully dilated, things often settle down a bit - contractions are a bit less frequent and you're able to push, which helps. She didn't have that because she didn't experience any contractions - the epidural masked the pain. I felt really bad for her. (She did have a vaginal birth and I don't think she had any interventions.)

Vinorosso74 · 07/11/2018 16:43

I didn't like the idea of it and ideally wanted to give birth with little intervention. I was due to give birth in the MLU but went to the Labour ward as waters went and I didn't go into labour naturally so had the joys of the syntocinon drip.
I did have an anaesthetist speak to me about an epidural. I got to a point where the pain got too much, asked for one, midwife went off then I had urge to just so too late!

GreenMeerkat · 07/11/2018 16:48

I think for a lot of people it's about wanting to stay on the MLU and intervention free.

I was induced on the drip as there was meconium in my waters so I was already strapped to a bed on a monitor and that bloody drip makes contractions worse so I went for it. Unfortunately for me it didn't work! So that's why I chose not to have it in subsequent births.

havingabadhairday · 07/11/2018 17:03

So, my point (sorry for rambling!) is that some people like me and you approach labour thinking why on earth wouldn’t anyone get an epidural if it takes all the pain away, and having been through 2 labours I now see that it really is better to avoid one if you can cope as there are limitations - for example the continuous monitoring and lack of movement. If I ever have another baby I will avoid one - a combination of gas and air and pethidine worked wonders for me!

I had to have the continuous monitoring anyway and couldn't move around. Wish I'd had mine sooner!

Anyway, I didn't want one. I was going to be up and walking around. Then the whole thing went a bit pearshaped, I was induced and it was bloody horrendous. An epidural saved my sanity I think. More or less! I was in so much continual pain that thoughts of the potential risks didn't really matter anymore, because I couldn't think about them.

anitagreen · 07/11/2018 17:56

I didn't want one as I think they are quite an extreme measure to take in labour, I don't like the thought of not being able to move around or not feel my legs etc. Also know numerous people now well into later years of their lives who have suffered with back pain etc which they swear was caused by it, but who knows.
I also prefer to give birth with no drugs etc I enjoy it 

PerverseConverse · 07/11/2018 18:01

This is making me wonder what labour would have been like without severe SPD and without my babies all being back to back. My contractions were 5 mins apart from the start and no respite at all as them just on top of each other. I remember the midwife being shocked by the frequency and strength of them. They were hard work and my last home delivery it took 90 minutes for the gas and air to arrive and by that time I was almost crying. I loved my home deliveries though 

Thecurtainsofdestiny · 07/11/2018 18:06

It wasn't readily available back then, where I was.

anitagreen · 07/11/2018 18:15

@PerverseConverse my daughter was back to back and I had spd really bad too but the moment that baby was out all the pain went.

lpchill · 07/11/2018 18:16

I had a c section as it's was 48hrs after the water had broken and I hadn't progressed at all after loads of medical intervention.

They tried to put the epidural in but after 4 failed attempts they had to put me under as my little girls heart rate jumped.

Cachailleacha · 07/11/2018 18:34

It's not something I looked into but I heard it's a needle in your back, you can't feel your legs, may need a catheter, and that it increases the risk of intervention. I also heard that it can cause nerve damage. All that terrified me. Luckily, I didn't end up needing any pain relief.

OoohSmooch · 07/11/2018 18:41

I didn't want one as I wanted to feel it all and before knowing what labour was going to be like for me I wanted a water birth. After 24 hours of contractions I was screaming for it and it was amazing. It's true for me that it slowed everything down and I ended up with an emergency c section. 24 hours of excruciating pain and no sleep or energy, I'd still ask for one even though it ended with a c section.

divadee · 07/11/2018 18:42

I had a home birth so couldn't have one. Then I had a pph and ended up with an epidural for surgery which gave me a massive panic attack as I hated feeling that out of control of my body so ended up with a general anyway!

Darbs76 · 07/11/2018 18:44

Because you can’t feel what your body is telling you and that’s so important. I had an epidural with DS1 (failed ventouse, forceps delivery with a lot of stitches). I declined for DS2 and DD, I had no pain relief at all for DD. I couldn’t believe how much my body guided me without the epidural - knew when to push, how hard and when to hold back. Of course child birth is very painful but I am certain the epidural lead to my forceps delivery. Once I’d given birth without one knew it was true. The body is an amazing thing, but you need to be able to listen to the signals - you can’t do that when you can’t feel a thing.
My advice is to avoid one

Darbs76 · 07/11/2018 18:46

My contractions were every 2/3 mins from the start. Made it difficult but if you can avoid an epidural you’ll definitely benefit longer term

NutElla5x · 07/11/2018 18:53

Because I hate the feeling of not being in control,and wanted to be in tune with my body,and do what it was telling me to do, instead of lying there like a sack of potatoes and having to be told.

Threeminis · 07/11/2018 18:56

Scared of the thought of having a catheter. That and I hate being restricted in movement and figured I might feel restricted

Xenia · 07/11/2018 18:56

I had one with my 5th child but not the others. I didnt' need or want one with the others. I think they are best avoided for all kinds of reasons if you dont' need one - needles in your back, paralysis, not natural, weird, makes it harder to push, gas and air more than adequate for pain - so why bother?

Vampiratequeen · 07/11/2018 19:00

I'm scared of needles and was worried about bad back.. I have a bad back to begin with and had to see a doctor to see if I would even be able to have one, he said there wasn't a lot of but could do it if they were careful, which made me more adamant that I wasn't having one, as I knew I would flinch due to my fear of needles. So I just cracked in through the pain. To be fair I was adamant I wasn't having any injection I didn't need, so only had the blood tests and the injection to help the placenta come away. Oh and the whooping cough vaccine.

AVT5 · 07/11/2018 19:03

It never ctossed my mind. I coped with gas and air and didn't feel like I need anything more. Ive had 4 and had gas and air for all

itbemay · 07/11/2018 19:04

Because the first one I had with 1st born only worked down one side of my body...

3out · 07/11/2018 19:07

Our hospital doesn’t do epidurals, so no choice.

BeautifulPossibilities · 07/11/2018 19:09

Because I know someone personally who is disabled and on crutches more than a decade after their birth.

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