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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you didn't have an epidural?

353 replies

sachabloom · 06/11/2018 22:19

Currently 17 weeks and up until today has made the decision I wasn't getting an epidural, until someone asked me why I wasn't and to be honest I was a bit stumped! I guess my main reason is the fear of a bad back after... but I don't even know if that's a myth or truth?!

I haven't had a pain relief discussion with my midwife and as this is my first child, I'll be honest I'm quite in the dark.

Just curious really to hear of people's experiences as most people I've spoke to say no to epidural but I've never really asked why.

FWIW, absolutely no judgements from me, I think we're all fabulous however we do it.

OP posts:
Babysharkdododo · 07/11/2018 08:33

First baby I had a lovely water birth which was fantastic pain relief. Epidural never crossed my mind.

Second baby I was adamant I wouldn't need an epidural, it was all fine first time so why would I?
Second labour was a totally different kettle of fish. Baby was prem so no water birth, and I needed constant monitoring and was discouraged from moving about. The pain was on another level. One of my big reasons for not wanting am epidural was increased recovery time, but baby wouldn't be able to leave until he was well enough so we were already facing a hospital stay. Then my blood pressure spiked big time and the midwives were advising an epidural to help stabilise that. So I thought fuck it and had one.

SleepySofa · 07/11/2018 08:35

I had one because I had high blood pressure and they were worried about the risk of pre-eclampsia. It was like magic for the pain. But it does increase the likelihood of an instrumental delivery - I ended up having forceps which left me with quite a lot of birth damage. Of course, I might have had forceps anyway, as DS was "stargazing".

SleepySofa · 07/11/2018 08:37

I didn't even notice the needle going in, btw. The biggest challenge was that I had to remain absolutely still while the did it, and I had two big contractions as they were putting it in.

MrsBartlettforthewin · 07/11/2018 08:40

With DD both the anaesthetists we6 dealing with emergencies- one in surgery one in an ambulance on their way to a bigger hospital so I didn't have a choice though was asking for one as induction contractions where the worst.

With DS1 wasn't time and I didn't want one as I knew I could cope with out after DD.

With DS2 we didn't even make it to hospital he came so quick. ( but didn't want one anyway as again knew I could cope and didn't want to increase risk of interventions)

SeasonOfTheCrone · 07/11/2018 08:44

I didn't have an epidural as my friend's mum had one and was given the wrong drug into her spine which killed her almost immediately.

Annajohnsdottir · 07/11/2018 08:52

My reason was as simple as I'm afraid of needles and didn't want one in my back. I did change my mind though and asked for an epidural when I arrived at the hospital in labour because I was in a fair amount of pain by then. They instantly said no as I was 9cm dilated (!) so I only had 2 paracetamol and gas and air for the whole 20 hour slog. I laugh about it now but was not pleased at the time lol.

The bottom line is have an idea of what you'd like in terms of pain relief and reassess as and when necessary. Labour is different for everyone and the pain relief is there to help you cope with everything. Hope you have a speedy and safe delivery when the time comes Smile

Perfectpeony · 07/11/2018 08:53

Not the point of the thread but I had one and loved it. No damage/ assisted birth and up and about again very quickly. Calm, lovely birth. My hospital had a button you press when you want a top up.

Back to back labour, contractions 5 minutes apart for over 24 hours. I personally would have been a mess without one. Only managed to get to 3/4cm, I always thought I had a high pain threshold until then! Maybe it was partly due to the length of labour and tiredness.

Oneinthegrave · 07/11/2018 08:56

In the run up i said no because it could make labour longer, cause complications etc. When in labour I asked for one, but pushed him out approx 10 minutes after I asked so there wasn’t time / too late

mostdays · 07/11/2018 08:58

Didn't need one.

PoisonousSmurf · 07/11/2018 09:01

Only had gas and air with my two DDs. Only time I had an epidural was when they stitched me up after DD2. I had a 3rd degree tear as she came out with her fists under her chin...

Zintox · 07/11/2018 09:01

Because it's a generally unnecessary intervention with risks and that usually leads to further interventions so in my opinion its better to do it without.
I birthed without any pain relief twice because gas and air doesn't work for me (which was a bit of a shock the first time) and although it does hurt it's not that bad. It's bearable.
I wouldn't personally choose any intervention unless medically necessary.

tomhazard · 07/11/2018 09:08

I had one the first time and regretted it. I couldn't feel properly to push so my tearing was worse than it might have been and needed ventouse. All was fine but I decided to go without second time and very glad i did. Not even a minor tear and I was in much better control of myself and my birth

EmmaJR1 · 07/11/2018 09:11

It seemed like a lot of bits and pieces on you and in you and restricted mobility from the demonstration I saw. Plus I wanted an mlu delivery and to be honest if you have a fast moving delivery with everything going to plan you might not need one.

Saying that - you have what you want at the time. Don't say no just no for now and see how you feel.

ChoudeBruxelles · 07/11/2018 09:12

Main reason because of previous condition I could have one but also had a very quick labour. Waters broke at 4 pm and ds was born at 7.45pm so there wouldn’t have been time anyway. We didn’t go to the hospital about 5.30pm and by that point I was 7cm dilated.

Having forceably been held down to have a lumber puncture without any local anaesthetic as a child I have a thing about people sticking things in my back.

You dont always need one. It’s your choice. Don’t be told either way and keep your options open. If you want one ask for it.

aussielivingabroad · 07/11/2018 09:17

I had one as I was put on the drip whilst I was induced. I didn't ask for it, my midwife was the one to suggest it as she said it will be agony. So glad I had one as it ended in a EMCS. Do what's right for you at the time X

PepsiLola · 07/11/2018 09:18

I asked my midwife about the bad back and epidural link and she said it's a myth.

Lots of ladies get bad backs after pregnancy cause of size of babies and stress of carrying, not birth.

I had two epidurals (one spinal block one mobile) after very long labours and complications. If I had no complications I would have liked a drug free birth

sayanythingelse · 07/11/2018 09:44

My friend had one with her first baby and swears it's the reason for her having a bad back. That put me off, however, I've still got a bad back nearly 11 months PP and I didn't have an epidural, so who knows.

Other reasons were that I was induced and already being pumped full of drugs via the drip, I didn't want a catheter or to be immobile. Once DD was out, I was checked for tearing (none), fed her for a bit and then was straight up and in the shower. I felt like a new woman.

LuvSmallDogs · 07/11/2018 09:51

I’m not allowed them, because the anasethetist I asked about it is worried my (unscanned) spina bifida occulta could up the risks of spinal damage from infinitesimal to slightly less infinitesimal.

My friend had an epidural, but it only numbed one side of her, so she was still in agony and couldn’t move around to work off that nervous energy you get from the pain or find what position she felt comfortable in. That sounds fucking miserable, and makes me relieved I’ve not had one.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 07/11/2018 10:17

Anyone I know who had an epidural also had an intervention

Maybe they had epidurals because their labours were longer, more difficult and/or just more painful?

And whatever caused that is what led to the interventions being required, not the epidural.
Women having quick, easier, less painful labours won’t be asking for epidurals and are less likely to need intervention.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 07/11/2018 10:21

For example- my first birth took 5 days and DS was 16 days late. He was eventually a partial forceps delivery.
I had an epidural because I was exhausted and in pain. The forceps happened because he was back to back with the cord round his neck and wasn’t descending. This is also what caused me to need the epidural.

The nature of the labour led to both the epidural and the intervention. That’s the causal factor.

BertieBotts · 07/11/2018 10:21

First baby I das more scared of the needle than the contractions.

Second baby I didn't have access to gas and air and it all got unbearably intense very quickly, I was begging for the epidural. I always said if the pain eclipsed my fear if take it and that's what I did.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 07/11/2018 10:23

My friend had one with her first baby and swears it's the reason for her having a bad back. That put me off, however, I've still got a bad back nearly 11 months PP and I didn't have an epidural, so who knows

You say who knows, but you’ve said it yourself that you both have bad backs and only one of you had an epidural!

You have, however, both been through pregnancy and birth.

Satonsofasad · 07/11/2018 10:23

Take all you can get love.

That's my advice Grin

Perfectpeony · 07/11/2018 10:26

I think the bad back thing is more to do with pregnancy and carrying a baby around all day than an epidural. Having and taking care of a baby is very physically hard work.

Harebellmeadow · 07/11/2018 10:27

I didnt get one for either of two births as as i thought it would increase my risk of a c-section. Also, dont like needles and am conpletely squeamish. Had i known that DD2s umbilical cord was half as long as it ought to have been, and that at the end she had to get out quickly because it turned out that the short cord was around her neck, I would have opted for a c-section. However, we didnt know that, but not having an epidural i was able to push her out HARD and fast and the doctor said that i avoided a ventouse delivery by being able to push her out myself even though i hated pushing and it hurt like hell- i no have no memory, physical or mental, of the pain, only the joy

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