To ask why you didn't have an epidural?

[sachabloom]

Currently 17 weeks and up until today has made the decision I wasn't getting an epidural, until someone asked me why I wasn't and to be honest I was a bit stumped! I guess my main reason is the fear of a bad back after... but I don't even know if that's a myth or truth?!

I haven't had a pain relief discussion with my midwife and as this is my first child, I'll be honest I'm quite in the dark.

Just curious really to hear of people's experiences as most people I've spoke to say no to epidural but I've never really asked why.

FWIW, absolutely no judgements from me, I think we're all fabulous however we do it.

I had no pain relief as there wasn't time. DD was born within half an hour of arriving at the hospital. DS was born in the street.

If there had been time I would have had anything on offer.

Oh, both babies were so induced so the pain was extreme for about 6 hours each - no hypnobirthing possible. I think the fear of a cathether also contributed.

Didn't want to increase my risk of intervention/cs. I had a ventouse anyway for back labour and I think if I'd had an epidural it would have been a section.

With labours 2&3 I knew I could do it without, and I did (10h and 12h compared to 37h for dd1)

I had an epidural very late states with my first I was in labor 3 days and had no choice but to get one as I was so exhausted and my baby got stuck etc etc, at the time I loved the fact that I couldn't feel anything and that I was pain free but I only had gas and air with my second and as painful as it was I felt a stronger bond because I pushed her out and felt everything. Epidurals are a serious thing it's an injection into your spine that you have to stay incredibly still for otherwise can cause serious problems it's not something you should consider lightly. If I were you only have one if you really feel like you need too.

I had one with my first and found it awful. I could not even feel my legs. I couldn't feel when to push so ended up with a ventouse delivery after 2 hours of pushing. I had no sensation to push at all. I couldn't walk.

With my other four I was lucky that they were extremely quick labours. I did beg for an epidural during transition though. By the 4th and 5th baby I told the midwife that if I asked for an epidural then I am most likely in transition so please ignore me then check for dilation.

While I hated the epidural, I am not convinced that I wouldn't have given in eventually if my labours had been very long though.

Because apparently I wasn't in labour (Baby in arms an hour later).
Second time around, I didn't even get to the hospital.

Don't rule it out, don't insist on one, until you know what your labour is like.

I had one with my first as he was back to back and it was very painful. I could feel the contractions after having it (although they didn't hurt) and so knew when to push. It wasn't a bad experience at all but I did want to avoid it with my second because I couldn't move around and needed a catheter, which I didn't like. I also had some continence problems afterwards because I couldn't feel properly which may or may not have been a consequence of the epidural. They cleared up after a few weeks though.

With my second, I didn't have time for anything anyway! about 3.5 hours from first contraction to birth. Only just made it to the hospital in time and had gas and air for about 5 minutes before he popped out.

I did have one - but it only worked on my right half! Dear God I wish it had worked on the left half as well!!

I was advised to have one with my first son, 22 and didn’t think to say no or ask more, I have a problem with my jaw and the anesthetic dr felt if I needed a ga it would be better if I had one.

So, was induced Early, went into labour was given epidural and it only half worked so half of me was numb the rest in agony I felt I was being ripped open, resulting in being cut and forceps and my baby was very bruised and I lost lots of blood and ended up with a transfusion. So baby no2 was advised again. Induced early once again, they called dr to do it hut they were busy and baby born smoothly without it, dr came in afterwards not needed. So with babies 3 & 4 they came so fast I wouldn’t have time for one, and in last 3 I wasn’t in much/any pain contracting so wouldn’t have needed for pain relief. Each to their own though, if someone wants one then that’s great but I’m glad I only needed one.

Didn't want any intervention, don't like to be touched, didn't want to be in hospital any longer than I had to. I wanted to work my way up through the pain relieving methods. If I had needed one I would have had one though.

The second I had at home so it wasn't an option anyway.

I have lentil weavery tendencies anyway, but the techniques I used did help me in long labours/back to back babies. DH jokes that if we had had a 3rd I would have insisted on giving birth in a teepee in the garden 🤣. At the risk of sounding totally nutty I actually quite enjoyed giving birth, it's the baby afterwards I found hard.

I had one with my first but wanted to try without for my second.

DC1: Induced with drip at 40+13, requested and was given epidural. I didnt even feel it being done.
DC2: Born on due date, ended up with crash section under general anesthetic as no time for epi / spinal.

I wish I had had an epidural already when things went wrong with DC2, then I would have been awake and not missed the birth.

I had one with my first because I was unprepared, couldnt cope and was in hospital and my husband was neither use nor ornament, and the midwives just popped in every hour or so. I wasnt expecting it to hurt so bad and id been induced. Felt totally out of control, Gas and air made me sick. Pethidine made me spaced out but i could still feel everything, so I had an epidural which was a relief.
Problem was, then I couldnt feel to push, and I only very narrowly avoided a ventouse and episiotomy. Then when my baby was taken to SCBU, I couldnt even get up out of bed to go and see him until the next day because I couldnt move my legs because of the epidural. This was horrible. I just wanted to see him.

Because of this experience, I decided to have homebirth with no drugs for the other two, and whilst it was mega painful, I felt it was worth it because I was so much more in control. I also had a supportive partner and supportive midwife who stayed with me and that made a world of difference, and the recovery was so much faster and easier without all the drugs

I didn't even think about an epidural as wanted a home birth each time. 1st and 3rd were planned home deliveries with gas and air. 2nd was an undiagnosed breech and had to have a section. I need to be active in labour. I hated the section so much as as soon as I got to hospital I was strapped to a CTG and couldn't move much around the bed nevermind around the room whilst I waited to go to theatre. I watch women in labour flat on their backs and wonder how much worse things are for them because they aren't upright and helping things with gravity. I had to give up watching OBEM as I got the rage at the inertia  Of course if anyone needs an epidural then go for it. What also put me off is I had a lumbar puncture due to suspected meningitis and the headache afterwards was debilitating and I've suffered with headaches ever since. So there was no way I wanted to risk that again.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth

My DM had a bad experience with it (twice). And I had worked hard on pg yoga and natural birthing techniques during the pg (antenatal classes, hired a tens, kept active by walking and yoga and swimming, and practiced my breathing and concentration on relaxation).

I used a combination of tens, hot shower belting onto my back in the hospital (unlimited hot water on Christmas Night and no other demands for the shower), and my breathing/relaxation exercises, with some gas and air towards the end.

I would have had an epidural if I needed it, but I just wanted to try and do it without if I could. And I did.

Not everyone needs an epidural, hopefully your labour will be less painful like lots on this thread. But it’s not a failure or sign of weakness if you need one.

I don't think it has anything to do with who has the more painful labour it's about pain threshold and what happens during labour.

I didn't want to increase the chance of escalating interventions and a medicalised birth. First time round I was fine with gas and air right up to the point where DS was crowning and trying to be born... then it all went tits up as his shoulder was wedged on my pubic arch (shoulder dystocia). The MW told me after that if I'd had an epidural the outcome might have been much worse as I wouldn't have been able to feel when to push. As it was I had a massive episiotomy and had to push really hard while she 'corkscrewed' him round manually to unhook his shoulder... yes it was as bad as it sounds! But its very rare.

Second time round, I didn't ask for one as the labouring part of DS1s birth had been okay with gas and air, and the pool. But my waters broke early (so not allowed in the pool) and he just didn't descend despite labouring for 2 days. So I was induced. They wouldn't give me an epidural in case it stopped the contractions, but by the time that was kicking in I was screaming for one (sorry - I was knackered after two days of contractions going nowhere). It was nothing like natural labour. So they gave me it at the last minute - I was actually at 10cm when I got it and wow - the relief! I was able to stop bellowing like a dying hippo and actually rest for half an hour, then get on with giving birth helped by a great midwife. DS2 came out fine in the end. I found out after though that the only reason they agreed to give me the epidural at that stage was that they were convinced I was going to end up with a C-Section, and that was going to be the anaesthetic for that... glad they didn't tell me that at the time.

So long story short, I'd say be open to whatever happens - it's an unpredictable business!

Marriedwithchildren5 obviously it is about pain thresholds, but it is also about whether the labour is more painful! My first labour was excruciating unremitting back to back pain. My second was very painful during the second stage, but it was less bad even at the worst moments than my first was when I was only 4 - 5 cm dilated. The first labour just was more painful, because of what happened during it.

^ agreed. My second labour was way less painful than my first. I assume because the positioning was better etc.

First birth, no epidural because my German midwife was very anti drugs so I had a drug free birth. It went horribly wrong and I got a 4th degree tear. Ended up with the epidural afterwards for the stitches which took hours. It was such a wonderful relief when the medicine kicked in that I lay there legs akimbo with 5 student doctors practicing their stitches on my poor lady parts with a huge smile on my face.

Next two births were c sections due to the damage caused by the first birth. Both involved the epidural. First was fine. Second, they accidentally bruised a nerve endin in my spinal column. It was agony for 2 months after. I was sobbing and writhing when I left the hospital, and had to take oxycodone for 2 months for the pain. Gradually the bruise healed and it sorted itself, but it definitely made me nervous of epidural now.

Marriedwithchildren5

What's the difference? If you have a high pain threshold, your pain is less, right? And what happens during labour is not a different thing to how painful it is.

I was clearly talking about women who say they didn't need one (with the implication by some that it's about strength of character), not those who didn't have time to get one.

I don't think it has anything to do with who has the more painful labour

You don't think the use of pain relief is connected to the level of pain experienced?

Oh, and when I say I didn't need one, that isn't me saying I was stronger than women who did. I just didn't need an epidural. If I'd had labours like my mum did, or many of my friends, I'd have asked for one. Thankfully it wasn't something I required.

Had a home birth (then 2 more) so epidural not available.

I did say I couldn’t cope and I’d changed my mind during the 1st birth but the midwife said I was ok. It was fast anyway so probably a good job.

If I’d been in hospital I think I would have been asking for everything going!

The other firms of pain relief was enough for me second time. First time I asked by the time they got to me I was 10cm

I did have one. After I'd been in labour for about 3 days I had had enough!

However, I didn't want one and was adamant I didn't want one. Some MNers may remember a terrible case about 20 years ago when a boy suffering from leukaeumia had the wrong injection into his spine and died. I was absolutely adamant after that that nobody was going near me with an epidural. But in the end I needed it.