To think this is top level CFery??

[HashtagTeamRaven]

Back in May, a colleague asked to borrow £100 as she needed to buy a new phone. We were both living abroad and the phone was quite important as it was her only contact with her family. It was really sprung on me tbh and I'm a complete doormat so I lent it to her, she swore she'd pay it back the following week on Pay Day.
Her pay was subsequently delayed and before she was paid, I moved back home.
We're in contact on FB and she has been telling me for months she'd pay it but has been having various issues organising it with the bank.

Today she has messaged me saying she can't figure out how to pay but as she is getting married in April, she'd like to take it as a gift.

It's £100!!
I'd possibly give that for my best friend or sister, but couldn't justify that for someone I barely know.

AIBU in thinking this is shockingly cheeky??

She's making me feel terribly guilty. She's on low pay and is claiming she's too shy to ask our old boss to help her sort the payment.

I'm with Cheesemaker. You got your cultural lines crossed and that loan was never taken on the basis thst it would be paid back.

I'm in Dubai @LucieMorningstar, we're 4 hours ahead.

This isn't a new revelation that she'll be paying me back, she has messaged me several times of her own back that she will be paying me, I've not been chasing.

I do have some acquitences who could possibly collected and then PayPal me.

Contact the most trustworthy one and ask them. Don't let the grass grow.

Ask her to send you the phone then so you can sell it and get your money back. I absolutely hate people who don't pay back money they owe. She is a CF of the highest order.

Have you replied to her?

Yes I said

"Hi XXX, if we can find a way to send back that would be best as I can't afford 500 Riyal 😔

Perhaps you can give to BOSS and she can SEND to me?

Congratulations on your wedding!"

Affordability is probably objective, a £100 loss isn't going to make it difficult for me to pay for food, for example, but it's not an insignificant amount for me.

Excuse random capitals,

Ask her to send you the phone then so you can sell it and get your money back

Actually that's not a bad idea; if you're concerned about her being phone-less you could suggest she gets a very basic, second hand one to tide her over

Not that I'd expect her to go with the idea, of course ... as I've said, you'll almost certainly have to write it off in the end

She is a CF. It’s not a cultural misunderstanding either.. my dad worked in Manila for years so we have quite a few Filipino friends.. a loan is a loan!!!!

It’s ridiculous she assumed she could keep it as a wedding gift, that’s rude. Also 100 quid is a big/huge gift in the Philippines.. I’m guessing she is assuming you’ve got bags of money (still rude though)

If she can't transfer money (which surprises me greatly), could she buy £££, $$$ or even €€€ locally and send them to you by snail-mail?

She is not telling the truth. ALL workers in Saudi have to have salary paid into bank. ALL Saudi banks can transfer world wide.

"Hi XXX, if we can you need to find a way to send it back as I can't afford 500 Riyal 😔

Perhaps you can give to BOSS and she can SEND to me.

Congratulations on your wedding!"

@Gitfeatures deleting my hedging there 😑

OP you're in this situation because you were walked over and the use of 'if we can' and 'perhaps' is going to get you the same result. Try and be more assertive and tell her that it was not a gift and she needs to find a way to pay it back.

"This would be my pleasure"

What a cheeky cow... Tell her you want your money ASAP.

Btw, get a Revolut account and ask her to do the same
It’s free, signing up takes like 5 Min and she can pay you using the app in a rainbow of currencies if she wishes.. all she needs is a phone (Good thing she has one!) and your phone number...

Yes I'd continue to push for it...yes it's not nothing and in Philippines would go an awful long way...
If she still is dragging her feet can you ask her to do 2 installments perhaps? At least then you'd get some of it!

Tell her that you'll accept transfer from Western Union, and she should be sure she selects the option where you receive £100 (ie that she pays the fees). Cheeky mare!

Lol at her being too shy to approach her boss about owed wages but having the balls to tell you she'll accept this money as a wedding present

I'm guessing she knew the OP was leaving soon and the problem of paying back would slip away. I wonder if she really didn't get paid. I can imagine it would be more convenient to ask a friend who was leaving the country soon for money than bug your employer but I think she saw the OP coming. This is why I would pursue it.

Op someone has taken your screenshot and posted it on facebook mums group chaging the story lol
Unless you and you do weird things like that.
This woman lives near London and said that she lent the money to the woman so she can get a hotel with her son.

What? lavender that's mad, did you comment? Ffs on a mum's group? Did she not think some of them might be on mumsnet? 😂

plot twist I know the mumsnetter who done it too hahha
Because she posts in the mum's group then on mumsnet the same stuff.

(Suggested) cultural differences/misunderstandings aside, she still owes you the money, and I don't believe she honestly thought you'd be happy just giving her the money for the phone. If you were working together, why would she assume you were Ms. Moneybags, "Wealthy Westerner" or not?

No, I wouldn't let it go, so long as there are still avenues to pursue.