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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AAIBU about ballet exam?

73 replies

Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 10:45

Feeling annoyed with ballet teacher regarding ballet exam booking. At the point we were asked if our 5 year old could be booked into her first ballet exam, we were told it would be in November, please pay X amount. For the past few years, 5 year old has had the odd Saturday lesson cancelled as other pupils needed the slot for their exams. Fine. So far, so good. With a couple of weeks notice, we have had a letter asking us to take 5 year old out of school and half way across town to a different school with no parking available, for her exam. I feel as though it would have been REALLY USEFUL to know that the exam may be on a school/work day, and in a different location before we paid, rather than now, when it's all a done deal and our options are to go along with this somehow, or lose the exam fee. I have asked if it could be booked for an out of school slot and been told no. Show up or child misses out and we lose the booking fee. Ballet teacher has sent a non-apology that she is 'sorry I didn't realise it would be on a school day'. How would I have 'realised'? I'm not psychic! She also booked all our kids into a summer dance club a few months back then sent me an email to say she'd got the dates on her leaflet wrong and wasn't running the club that week, leaving all 3 kids disappointed, so I'm a bit naffed off with her crappy level of communication! Grrr.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 06/11/2018 10:49

Will,she be paying the LEA fine for your DD’s school absense?
Of course you would think it was during school, bloody ridiculous to suggest otherwise
Having said that does your dd need to do an exam? Can’t she just enjoy dancing?

Tinuviel · 06/11/2018 10:53

Children are entitled to time off school for dance, theatre and music exams, so that shouldn't be a problem. However, whether parents can get time off is a separate issue! To be fair, if it's RAD, they have 3 x 4 weeks of exams per year so clearly not every dance school can have a weekend slot for their exams. Music exams work the same way!

You certainly should have been warned of the possibility when you agreed.

mrsm43s · 06/11/2018 10:55

My children don't do ballet, but they do do music grade exams, and they have always been in the week, during the day, and at various locations across the local area, and it has been my responsibility to get them there. I don't know why you would assume it would be at the weekend - you can't really think that the examiners/accompanists etc only work on a weekend!

So, I do think YABU in making quite an odd assumption, and then getting cross when you realised your own assumption was incorrect. (It would be different if the teacher had incorrectly told you that it was a Saturday, but this doesn't seem to be the case).

livingthegoodlife · 06/11/2018 10:56

All our ballet exams are on school days, standard practice. Plus it's automatic permission from the school so don't worry about a fine. Again often the exact date is not known until the last minute.

I think a change of location is unreasonable...

Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:06

I'm just annoyed to be discovering this now, when everything is booked and paid for, rather than being given info before booking. And why would I assume that an exam would be in school hours at a different location when for several years running they have happened on Saturday, at the location we usually go to? How could I have possibly guessed it would be different this year?

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steppemum · 06/11/2018 11:07

You are allowed to miss school for exams, eg music, ballet.

Yes her level of communication is poor, but I know from music exams, that the dates are allocated by the board and teachers have no choice.

I do find there is a huge amount of assumption about exams etc from insiders.

By the way, do you have to do the whole hair, tights, new leotard thing too? It was having to buy a specific pair of shoes just for one exam that made me pull dd out of ballet in the end.

Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:09

Hoppinggreen - I doubt my 5 year old gives a stuff about the exam. The ballet teacher requested that we book our daughter in. Daughter doesn't seem fussed or understand what it is she is going to do. I'm not sure she will even get through it under pressure, and I have no information at all about what it involves.

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Broken11Girl · 06/11/2018 11:10

Agree, why wouldn't you think it was during the day? How could they fit all Smilethe exams into evenings and weekends? (And some parents would be annoyed about that).
Schools are fine with allowing absence for dance, music etc exams. They can put it down as educated elsewhere I believe. She's 5, not 15 and preparing for GCSEs. Just let her teacher know.
Good luck to her in the exam Smile

Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:10

Steppemum - just re-reading letter. What on earth are 'character shoes'?

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Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:12

Broken11Girl, as previously explained, because all exams at this school since we started have happened on Saturdays?

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Broken11Girl · 06/11/2018 11:15

Ah crossed with your update, that isn't good. Sounds like an exam factory. The syllabus will be online if you want to have a look. It's probably good that little ones don't really get the exam concept, as they don't get nervous whereas by 7 or 8 they do, I was petrified in music exams as a DC. But you know your child and whether she'll deal with it.

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 06/11/2018 11:17

Well, in a few years your daughter just might decide she wants more than anything to be a ballet dancer and it would be a shame if she didn't have her basic exams done at an early age if that were the case. My sister trained as a dancer and was much disadvantaged by starting dancing later than many of her peers (she did manage to have a career as a dancer but didn't do much actual ballet after she had completed her ballet school training as you had to be very good to get into a company).

SloeBerri · 06/11/2018 11:18

Skip the exam and swallow the fee loss. Sometimes it’s worth it. My son is really really into ballet and even he doesn’t do all the exams (and that’s at RAD HQ in London). They’re not needed at this stage or a big deal. It’s annoying, but you’ll know for next time

negomi90 · 06/11/2018 11:22

My ballet exams were always in school time, in a place other than my actual school.
There was a never a problem with me missing the afternoon of school to do it. There are LEA exceptions for things like extra curricular activities.

NoMalone · 06/11/2018 11:26

Character shoes are black shoes with a small heel. My DD has done ballet since she was 4. She did her first exam at the age of 12 when she switched to an RAD school. Her exams have always been mid week but starting exams so late has not been a hindrance to her as she is working towards her Advanced 1 now, 3 years later. Her teacher at this school has always said if you want to do this exam so it is optional. I'd have been less than enthusiastic if I'd have to go to all this effort pre 12 years of age or so.

Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:35

I feel completely out of my depth. I have no previous experience of dance education, just a small child who likes dancing who I want to encourage, and zero information. I suspect even if we get her there with all the things on the list, she will be so freaked out by the novelty of the place and situation she won't even go in. Sigh.

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Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:36

NoMalone - ah, thanks. Child doesn't own and has never worn character shoes, so not sure why she needs them...

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SoupDragon · 06/11/2018 11:38

My DD has done lots of dance exams and every single one has been on a weekend. I would never have thought they would be during school time and think this should have been pointed out.

JeanPagett · 06/11/2018 11:41

Have all the exams been on a Saturday though or are those just the only ones that you've heard about because they impact on your daugher's class?

Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:43

It is interesting that those whose children are older and involved in performing arts exams etc think it's unreasonable not to know all the stuff they themselves already know. How did you all discover the things you now take for granted?

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Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:45

JeanPagett - good question, but I think from asking around that coincidentally since my child started ballet, exams have been on Saturdays. Not having any knowledge of how these things work, I assumed they would be this time, too.

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TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 06/11/2018 11:46

I would not be impressed by that.
It’s the lack of communication. My daughters’ (well respected, fairly large) dance school gives out loads and loads of information about exams and the head speaks to all parents individually as much as possible to make sure everyone understands. In addition almost all exams are on a weekend, although I do know that is not the case everywhere.

Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:46

SoupDragon - it seems there is a level of assumed common knowledge that I just don't have yet, I think!

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Original poster
Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 11:48

TooStressy - hmm. Whilst well respected, this is a small local school. The teacher is great with children, but communication with parents is not great. Hard to get everything right I guess, as such a small business.

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JeanPagett · 06/11/2018 11:49

I agree about the assumed common knowledge. It's like when your kid's in reception and you're supposed to magically know about how the end of term assembly work because all the parents with older kids do. I do feel for you.

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