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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AAIBU about ballet exam?

73 replies

Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 10:45

Feeling annoyed with ballet teacher regarding ballet exam booking. At the point we were asked if our 5 year old could be booked into her first ballet exam, we were told it would be in November, please pay X amount. For the past few years, 5 year old has had the odd Saturday lesson cancelled as other pupils needed the slot for their exams. Fine. So far, so good. With a couple of weeks notice, we have had a letter asking us to take 5 year old out of school and half way across town to a different school with no parking available, for her exam. I feel as though it would have been REALLY USEFUL to know that the exam may be on a school/work day, and in a different location before we paid, rather than now, when it's all a done deal and our options are to go along with this somehow, or lose the exam fee. I have asked if it could be booked for an out of school slot and been told no. Show up or child misses out and we lose the booking fee. Ballet teacher has sent a non-apology that she is 'sorry I didn't realise it would be on a school day'. How would I have 'realised'? I'm not psychic! She also booked all our kids into a summer dance club a few months back then sent me an email to say she'd got the dates on her leaflet wrong and wasn't running the club that week, leaving all 3 kids disappointed, so I'm a bit naffed off with her crappy level of communication! Grrr.

OP posts:

gottastopeatingchocolate · 06/11/2018 12:38

I think the character shoes are a red herring, OP. Is the letter sent out to everyone doing an exam, or tailored to your child?

If she is 5 and it is RAD ballet, it is what they call "pre-primary exam". It's a group exam, and they do pretty much what they have done in class - my child didn't even notice it was an exam. They wear their RAD pink uniform and ballet shoes - no change of shoes needed at pre primary, so check with the teacher before you rush out and buy character shoes!

MaryCraven · 06/11/2018 12:39

Ask some of the other mums at the dance class for advice. Someone is bound to know. Unfortunately many dance schools assume parents know stuff like:

Exams can be during school times and vary in location.
Buns must be without do-nut
Buns must be at right height. (Diagonal line from ear)
No hair clips, just plain grips
No nail varnish
No jewellery or ear rings (even studs)
You need to check if they need ballet socks or tights (age 5 nearly always socks, NOT turned over)
Elastics or ribbons (age 5 elastics)
Satin or leather ballet shoes (generally NOT split sole)
Waistband or not
Matching ribbon or scrunchie around bun or not

Children DO NOT have to take exams but it builds confidence in the child, will help hugely if they turn out to be talented and want to take it further.

Please feel free to pm me if you need to know anything else.

Original poster

Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 12:42

RedSkyAtNight - we were given no forms, just asked for exam fees.

OP posts:

4strings · 06/11/2018 12:43

Sounds like it's been assumed you knew all this which is bad, but even so, I would have checked in the outset. Lesson learned for next time.

There's no issue with taking them out of school though. My dd does music exams and as a matter of fact has one this afternoon (this will be the ninth - various instruments - and only one of them, a theory exam, was a Saturday). She loves missing school for this reason!

Original poster

Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 12:44

MaryCraven - thanks for all the info. I have a lot to learn, clearly!

OP posts:

Original poster

Dramaticmuch · 06/11/2018 12:51

It would take a lot to make me think of switching schools as our child enjoys going, and her teacher is a brilliant teacher. Just a bit rubbish on the communication with parents. I think it is assumed that other parents will fill in the gaps in knowledge, but the other parents I know don't have older children either so we are all equally clueless.

OP posts:

Cinnabunbun · 06/11/2018 12:56

Thank you for this thread and info. I had no idea it was so complicated. I had just assumed that the exams would somehow be incorporated into our regular Saturday morning class. Good to know!

Are all primary schools really ok with absences for exams?

AlexanderHamilton · 06/11/2018 12:58

Some are not. But its usually when they are mis-interpreting the rules on absence. The RAD have a standard letter you can use. Music exams have been taking place on schooldays for at least 30-50 years.

MaryCraven · 06/11/2018 13:03

Yes, schools are fine. RAD, IDTA and ISTD are on the national framework. They just register them as being educated off site xx

MaryCraven · 06/11/2018 13:05

Some schools don’t like your child to wear knickers under their leotards either.

AlexanderHamilton · 06/11/2018 13:07

That is one rule we have never come across or adhered to through 5 years of recreational and over 5 years of vocational training.

SachaStark · 06/11/2018 13:11

Schools are totally fine, it won't affect absence as they are marked down as educated off-site.

Actually, as a secondary school teacher (also used to be a ballet dancer, then Assistant to the Principal of a dance school after I was injured, funnily enough! So have spent loads of time organising ballet exams!), I find that my colleagues are very respectful of our students attending music and dance exams, as it is a very valuable addition to their school education. As a PP said, I often find that our most independent GCSE students are usually found to be music or dance students, as they have been used from a young age to spending their own time practising for exams.

SachaStark · 06/11/2018 13:14

Also, I would be very surprised if, in the past when your Saturday classes have been disrupted, that all the exams that week were only on that day.

From my experience of organising the exams, we usually ran many over at least two days during the week. And yes, sometimes we would have to go miles away to another dance school for some of them.

So I don't think you can go in complaining that they've always been held on a Saturday, as it's highly unlikely that's the case!

MirriVan · 06/11/2018 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

steppemum · 06/11/2018 13:24

when dd was doing ballet, I declined the first set of exams, as it involved lots of extra (paid lessons) I talked to the teacher and she said she was happy for her to move up a class with the others, exam or not.

A year later she did the exam, older students were there to do the buns (you need a ton of hair gel and hairspray) and advise about uniform/shoes etc.

She actually enjoyed the exam, rose to the challenge, and as others have said I think it was good, but she was 7 or 8 by then.

We didn't go any further simply because of the ridiculous requirements and costs. Special satin shoes for a 20 minute exam age 8 doing basic ballet? RAD need to enter the real world.

theymademejoin · 06/11/2018 13:25

@mrsm43s - It's really obvious to anyone who gives it any thought, that examiners work across all days, and many locations. It's not logical to assume that they only work on Saturdays, or will only be examining students from one particular dance school on any given day.

It's only logical if you have it explained to you first.

If you're new to the whole thing, it's reasonable to make certain assumptions. E.g. the dance teacher only runs classes outside school time so afternoons and weekends. I think it would be perfectly reasonable to assume the same for exams.

My daughter has been doing ballet for 14 years. I don't remember being shocked or surprised at the fact I had to take her out of school for the first exam (I was surprised at being asked to pay for costumes for the first show, but that's a different story). I can only presume (it's a long time ago) that is because we were given the information by the teacher, who is very organised.

Every exam, she sends a letter home (email now) saying your child is ready for the exam, it's not compulsory, if they don't do it, they will still move on to the next grade, details of when the exam will be roughly, with more detailed information as soon as possible. For younger kids, dates and times for the extra classes they were required to do for the exam is included and, I presume, for the first exam, it also stated that the exam could be during school time. She also lists what is required (shoes, colour of leotard, tights vs socks, pins, clips etc) and states that she will have helpers on the day to do hair so parents don't need to know how to do buns.

It's ridiculous to expect parents to know all that. Any experienced teacher should know that not all parents know this and should make it their business to give them the information so they can make an informed decision on whether to do the exam.

Russell19 · 06/11/2018 13:29

My advice would be, don't do the exams until she's older. If she's good she will be a talented dancer regardless of a piece of paper. Coming from experience the dance industry can be a lot about making money. :( I'm sure you'll decide on something this time but be more wary next time xx

Hoppinggreen · 06/11/2018 13:38

dramatic is there a Baby Ballet franchise near you?
Obviously franchises vary depending on who runs them but I am friends with the lady who started the company and my DD went to the first classes before she really started franchising and expanding the business. The classes are all about enjoying dance rather than exams and rules on what to wear etc, Claire actually started it as her
Mum is a very well known dance teacher in her area but although she is a good dancer she wasn’t good enough for a career in it and wanted to take away the pressure on kids to pass exams/have their hair a certain way etc.
It’s obviously not for purists who are looking for a future career or to achieve a certain level but for fun, pressure free dance the classes are great (as long as you have someone good running them of course)
I know I sound like an advert but as the business began in my town I know a lot of children who go/went and they loved it ( except my DS, but then he hated Jo Jingles and Melody Makers too)

WeaselsRising · 06/11/2018 13:54

I started dancing more than 50 years ago and my exams were always during the school day. I didn't give it a thought when my DC took their ballet exams and also had to be taken out of school in the late 90s. Think it has always been the case.

Jeanclaudejackety · 06/11/2018 14:05

Babyballet is no good unless your child is under about 2.5. Any older they need more structure if they are actually going to learn how to actually dance. Otherwise just put music on at home and let them mess around.

AlexanderHamilton · 06/11/2018 14:16

Special satin shoes for a 20 minute exam age 8 doing basic ballet? RAD need to enter the real world.

That is not an RAD requirement and never has been. In fact it is not advised that you wear brand new shoes for an exam as you need to wear them in. Clean, yes, new especially for the exam, no. Children may wear full sole satin, leather or canvas shoes in the lower grades.

HuntIdeas · 06/11/2018 16:55

Babyballet is no good unless your child is under about 2.5.

I completely agree with this. I took my DD to a 3 week trial of the 3-4 year old class when she was 3.5. She was bored stiff! It comprised of the teacher laying some discs across the room and the kids jumping from one to the next, and the girls skipping across the room one by one, plus was exactly the same every week. Much more suited to 2 year olds

We have since moved to another ballet school and she is much happier

Pigsears · 06/11/2018 17:29

My daughter's first ballet school was not suited to us and made all the sort of assumptions that the OP discusses. In addition, parents were expected to volunteer on exam day to help with the children, ballet buns (but only if you had proven tested skills) or with making tea and lunch for the examiner (I kid you not...) great if you thought your child was going to continue to be a profesional ballerina- but not the place for 'fun'. We needed new uniform each time (including shoes). It was hell. If you didnt volunteer- you had to pay extra for the day.

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