To take DD to baby group with a cold?

[voxnihili]

I'm genuinely asking for opinions as I'm not sure what to do. DD is 3 months old and is getting over a cold. Should we steer clear of baby groups this week? Aside from one unsettled night she's not at all grumbly. I think I'm now starting to come down with it.

My opinion is that's it's just a cold and we should just get on with life. I'm a teacher and would expect children in school with a cold if they're otherwise well. I'd also go to work myself. I feel that if we stay home every time she has a sniffle we'll be home all winter. It's definitely just a cold and not one of those hideous viruses - DP has had it and even his dying duck impressions have been mild compared to his usual attacks of man flu.

WWYD? If she had a fever, sickness, diarrhoea etc I'd definitely keep her home but she's fine in herself.

Please don't attack me. I started this post because although I don't see a problem with colds I wanted to know what the general consensus was. If we were just going to go anyway I wouldn't have bothered to post.

I want to be considerate to others so we won't go.

I had a 4 month old who spent nearly a week in hospital after a cold (confirmed by hospital tests - just rhinovirus, but he was on oxygen for 2 days).

Yes, colds are normal and you don't need to be in quarantine - but knowingly taking it to a room full of very small babies, where she'll mouthe toys and dribble on things is not right. She's only 3 months old, you can still easily meet people for coffee, go for walks outside, head to the shops and do plenty of other activities to get out and about.

Do people realise you are actually infectious with cold viruses before you show symptoms?

Ds got a “common cold” at 8 weeks old. It nearly killed him. He is 9 next week and we are still dealing with the consequences on a daily basis and the damage to his lungs will never repair.

Thank you OP for deciding not to take your little one with a cold to baby group. I struggled so much in my son's first year because he'd get a cold every 2 to 3 weeks. Each cold meant I'd have to sit up holding him most of the night because he couldn't breathe, none of the usual recommendations seemed to work.

It was exhausting!

Every time I took him to a baby group a mum would at some point say to me 'poor her own DC is full of snot!' and bring their streaming child towards us. I got so fed up I stopped going to some of the groups as he'd just get sick after every single one. I used to get so fed up of the people who didn't just keep their sick babies away.

Some kids do fine with a cold, but some get really poorly or don't cope. I appreciate once they're older you don't keep them off with a sniffle but baby groups are full of small babies who may be vulnerable.

Jesus people are laying it on a bit thick.

It’s awful that people have been so unlucky with ill children and there’s no denying that your experiences sound awful, but that’s not the majorities experience. Most people get a cold and that’s all it is, a cold.

I hate to be the one to say it, but if you or your child are the ones particularly at risk the onus is on you to take more precautions than usual.

People get colds, it’s an unavoidable part of life. It’s hugely unreasonable to expect people to conduct their lives around possible risks that are just part of everyday life for the vast majority.

@Cornettoninja I agree with you for most of life - getting on with things when having a cold is something we all do.

But I do think it's a bit different than taking an ill baby to a room of very young babies. For sake of missing one week of baby group it would be nice not to make all the other babies ill. Not saying at all that she shouldn't take her baby out, just not to a room of infants.

I hate to be the one to say it, but if you or your child are the ones particularly at risk the onus is on you to take more precautions than usual.

How very compassionate.

I think you’ll find those of us with susceptible children already do take more precautions. However actively taken a child full of the cold on an unnecessary trip to hang out with small babies is a dick move.

enidcat I agree for the most part (I did earlier say I probably wouldn’t), but some posters are really sticking the boot in when in reality it the op probably wouldn’t have been the only one there with a snotty baby.

To pile on the guilt to the point she’s considering writing off the rest of the term is unnecessary.

With young babies you won’t always know your child is more susceptible until they have been ill.

Of course you can’t avoid everything but to purposely go to something like a baby group knowing your child has a cold is selfish

Thank you OP for deciding not to take your little one with a cold to baby group. I struggled so much in my son's first year because he'd get a cold every 2 to 3 weeks. Each cold meant I'd have to sit up holding him most of the night because he couldn't breathe, none of the usual recommendations seemed to work.

^^this

Thankyou OP for asking and listening. I have two aathamtuc children and whilst we can't avoid catching colds and viruses going about general life, it's pretty annoying when people bring obviously infectious children/babies to mix in a planner group with others and share bugs.

I've been off with chest infection for nearly 3 weeks now & almost admitted to A&E 2 weeks ago, thanks to a teenager friend of DC that came round my house full of virus, having been off school that day!

You can't stay in all the time but neither should you deliberately infect others. I prefer a text if someone's visiting me but is poorly or has poorly DC so that I can cancel!
(Because of the constant A&E dashes (which are scary) that I have to do with DC or myself, I really dislike "those people" who don't give it a second thought. )

Oh yes I agree @Cornettoninja no need to miss whole term, just the week when the little one's not well.

But it can take ages for a cough or sniffle to go away, even in a healthy adult, it's not realistic to expect people to quarantine themselves for so long.

I haven't read the thread but wanted to caution against taking your baby to baby group with a cold.

My ds got viral meningitis from the common cold virus when he was a month old. There might be immune deficient babies at the baby group who can get very sick just from a cold!

Exposure to germs is a good thing. If they are well in themselves csrry on as normal

I honestly think it's fine. My children have colds all winter as does almost every child at playgroup. And I have a small baby and a toddler with a heart condition who has just returned from hospital because of complications which started with a cold. You can't protect children from colds and they do need to build their immune systems. But obviously it's up to you.

Well unless you plan to spend your life in isolation you need to build up an immune system

It's all very well saying its good to go out and roll babies in germs as it builds up their immune system unless every time your child gets a cold they end up in hospital. And you don't know that until the first time. This time last year my friends 6 well old baby - full term, doing great, ended up on a ventilator with RSV or some such similar virus. You never know until its too late, all for the sake of missing a session a baby isn't old enough to be sad to miss instead of doing something with less communal air and slobber.

OP you've made the right call. Don't miss all term, she may well not be ill all term especially if people are considerate and miss a week when they and their kid are ill too

I hate to be the one to say it, but if you or your child are the ones particularly at risk the onus is on you to take more precautions than usual.

Do you have any bloody concept of the precautions we need to take just to avoid hospital trips? I guess if your child is ill you should quarantine yourself permanently, so that people with healthy kids don’t have the awful burden of having to skip a baby group when their child has a virus. In fact, maybe it would be better if disabled people disappeared altogether and then no one would have to worry. I can’t completely protect my child from germs, but there’s a difference between spreading a bug before you’re symptomatic and knowingly taking a bug into a group of babies.

OP, this is not aimed at you - it’s aimed at bloody ridiculous comments like that.

I'm really surprised at the majority of these responses. If we stayed at home every time my 3 year old or the 8 month old had a bit of a cold we'd never go out.

If we stayed at home every time my 3 year old or the 8 month old had a bit of a cold we'd never go out.

No one said you need to stay home. We’ve said don’t go to the group with the tiny babies in an enclosed space.

Go to the park if you want out. But don’t actively spread germs unnecessarily.

No one said you have to stay home. The question was whether it was wise to go to a baby group with a bug.

I spent 11 days in HDU with one of my boys when he was almost 3 months old, at the height of bronchiolitis season - I saw an endless stream of desperately ill babies who started with “just a cold”. A few were having seizures, transferred to other hospitals to be put on a ventilator. Many of these weren’t especially vulnerable or premature babies. You can’t know how a baby will respond to a bug. If it’s RSV there’s a good chance that spreading that around a group of babies will lead to one of them getting bronchiolitis.

I'm really surprised at the majority of these responses. If we stayed at home every time my 3 year old or the 8 month old had a bit of a cold we'd never go out.

This is about going to a baby group where there will be newborns. I would think a toddler group (where you will also get babies) and any outdoor or soft play type activity is absolutely fine. Lots of mums go to baby groups to establish breastfeeding at the very beginning and, as such, their babies could be just days old.