to be annoyed that dm is going to spend christmas with dsis again this year

[LittleBookofCalm]

and we will have Whole Family Christmas at another date?
Surely this should be turn taking,
Although dm gets on my nerves and stresses me I did kind of want her company on Christmas day, but I hadnt got round to mentioning it because we normally have alternate christmas and this year she is due with Us.
The other date may well not be convenient as we ALL work!
hey two of us may well be workign on christmas day, I am, for a few hours
shall i speak up

Your mother is spending Christmas with your son?

dsis

I can't understand your post sorry.
She annoys you.. but you want her there?
But you could be working anyway?
Is that right?

yes cheese

but my dc would like her company

Can your son not come home for Xmas and you all have dinner together?

Although dm gets on my nerves and stresses me I did kind of want her company on Christmas day.

Well, that sounds heartwarming! How could she resist?

I think you’re more annoyed about missing your ‘turn’ than actually missing seeing your mum.

But raise it with her and see what she says. She may not realise you are upset about it.

yes, The Stoic, I will

Invite dsis to yours on Christmas day.. but if your working how does that work?

dsis has a family,
we all have family

i kind of thought we would eat when i get back from work.
i guess it might be for the best. i dont know

Do you work every Christmas? Maybe she thought hosting and working is asking a lot of you?

I think yabu if you are working to be honest

no i dont normally work christmas

Who would do all of the cooking whilst you are at work? And in theory would that not mean that your DM would be childminding your dc for the day? I wonder why she chose your dsis' house...

no, she doesnt know i am working, and my children are adults, i figured dh could look after the cooking, or they could all muck in, and it could but perhaps the heat in the kitchen will be too much!
it might be for the best

Although dm gets on my nerves and stresses me I did kind of want her company on Christmas day, but I hadnt got round to mentioning it because we normally have alternate christmas and this year she is due with Us.

and you're surprised that she wants to go somewhere else??

yes perhaps i am throwing my toys out of my pram

And she should be allowed to go where she wants
i will chat with her, probably my fault for not asking

yes perhaps i am throwing my toys out of my pram

Well not yet, if you haven’t mentioned it yet!

It just doesn’t seem as practical to be at yours if you’re working that day?

no, it doesnt does it

What about letting this year go, but suggesting that she comes to you in for Christmas 2019? But if you’re going to ask, a little more enthusiasm might help, you do seem a bit lukewarm about her - it’s not a criticism, your feelings are you own, but it might be something she picks up on.

perhaps she feels she'd better ho where she's invited rather than feel that you're suffering her company because it's your "turn" to do so? Christmas can be a bit of a minefield w everybody trying to do the right thing.

Just get in there early for next year if you feel disappointed. Extend invite for Xmas 2020 ..

Since you're working this Xmas anyway and don't usually, it doesn't sound the best year to host your DM.

I wonder if DSis 's DC are younger than yours, so more appreciative of Grandma being at theirs for Christmas? Since yours are adults..

Maybe also DM notices that you find her stressful and that she gets on your nerves (maybe you get on her nerves!), so she might prefer Xmas at Dsis's home.