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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I hire this carpenter when I don't like his FB feed?

111 replies

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 04/11/2018 21:32

Guy I sort of know from my running club was recommended to me by a friend to do some fencing and decking work in my garden.

I 'friended' him on FB and see that he's a bit of a twat - posting 'cheeky' pics of women having their bums groped, or pulling a moony etc.
Daft memes about sex and stuff.

I don't feel like he would be some sort of threatening predator or anything, but he just seems like a slime.

AIBU? Obv I can hire who I like, but am wondering if I'm being a bit up myself!

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 04/11/2018 21:35

I wouldn't. When there's no doubt lots of other non-twat carpenters you could hire. I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone like that in my home.

Elphame · 04/11/2018 21:35

I wouldn't hire him

Magmatic80 · 04/11/2018 21:39

No way.

Original poster
TheOrigRightsofwomen · 04/11/2018 21:46

Ah OK. So he's messaged me on FB.

The initial contact was made a few weeks ago (before I'd seen his newsfeed) and I was really busy with work travel, so he said he'd contact me when I was back. He's sent another message, which I haven't read.

OP posts:
teaandtoast · 04/11/2018 21:49

I wouldn't.

When I was buying a wool duvet, I came across something on one particular duvet seller's website I didn't like. Wouldn't have bothered most people, I dare say, but it bothered me, so I bought elsewhere. My money, my choice.

SouthWestmom · 04/11/2018 22:19

Little bit thought police isn't it?

ellendegeneres · 04/11/2018 22:31

🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t think it’s thought police at all.

Why hand someone cash when they aren’t the type of person you’d want to spend any time around? Just because they’re entitled to their thoughts, doesn’t mean they won’t be judged on them in their professional lives

thedoctorwillseeyounow · 05/11/2018 02:58

I would respond to his message politely, saying thanks, but you’ve found another tradesman to do the work. I don’t spend my hard-earned lady salary on sexists. A plumber who came to give me a quote for a job had a photo of a topless woman on his phone (that he got out and used to do calculations in my kitchen). I hired someone else.

calpop · 05/11/2018 03:01

I've had similar experiences when getting quotes and seeing that they were Britain First types. I don't give my cash to people like that.

Pinkhorses · 05/11/2018 03:06

Fine. It’s the way it is these days. If you have a business then you need to be aware of the image you’re putting out. I check people’s facebooks too to check if they seem decent types I want to pay money too.

Snitzelvoncrumb · 05/11/2018 03:23

If you don't want to hire him, don't. I cancelled a quote with a company because a few days before they were due to come, someone driving a ute with the company logo shouted at me in a shopping centre car park (road rage). I called and cancelled the next day, and said I wouldn't feel comfortable having someone like that in my house.

brizzledrizzle · 05/11/2018 03:28

There's no way I'd be hiring him.

RedneckStumpy · 05/11/2018 03:43

For me it would depend on his work. I could ignore the FB if he was high quality and could give me what I wanted.

PersonaNonGarter · 05/11/2018 03:57

No, don’t have someone like that to your house.

MrDonut · 05/11/2018 04:16

Why on earth doesn't he have a separate business page on facebook?

People are so stupid sometimes.

TheDowagerCuntess · 05/11/2018 05:06

Little bit thought police isn't it?

Yes. And...?

Chippies are a dime a dozen. I'd just use another one.

BeardedMum · 05/11/2018 05:58

I would’t, but why would you friend him in fb. Is this not his personal page? I usually just check a tradesman’s professional reviews.

lboogy · 05/11/2018 06:01

I'd hire him. Good work men are hard to find. His views don't impede his ability to do the job

user1457017537 · 05/11/2018 06:05

Re chippies being a dime a dozen. Not my experience plus you sometimes need a joiner.

Hisaishi · 05/11/2018 06:24

He sounds creepy and gross and like he has no idea how he comes across, either personally or professionally. I would not be comfortable having someone like that in my house. A friend of a friend used to look after my daughter, I always thought he seemed like a nice, normal guy til the mutual friend showed me his fb, basically similar stuff to you, using half naked women to advertise his rugby club, disparaging stuff about women etc...I don't want people like that around my daughter.

I tend to try to employ women to do anything like that for me now, though it's obviously not always easy with more physical work.

maddiemookins16mum · 05/11/2018 06:38

I refused to hire a bathroom fitter when I saw him like something on FB by Britain First (about if you are offended by Poppies go home, or something like that).

Anniegetyourgun · 05/11/2018 06:42

It's not thought police at all. A carpenter is realistically going to be spending several days if not weeks at your house and if he thinks groping random women is a fine way to behave - and knows you know about it - he may well feel groping clients is fine too. Other carpenters exist. (Not to say some of them won't be sleazeballs too, but at least you're forewarned about this one.)

I'd add that recommendations from friends aren't always reliable either. I am still suffering from regret and know I will eventually have to have some expensive remedial work done due to accepting the quote from a neighbour's mate instead of the professional guy I'd originally called round.

easyandy101 · 05/11/2018 06:43

Chippies are a dime a dozen. I'd just use another one.

Good ones with a personal recommendation aren't though

I wouldn't let someone's lifestyle or politics impact on me getting some quality work done.

You're asking for decking not discourse and friendship

Rachelover40 · 05/11/2018 06:53

Wouldn't touch him with a barge pole (his or mine).

Aridane · 05/11/2018 06:54

I'd hire him. Good work men are hard to find. His views don't impede his ability to do the job