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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I hire this carpenter when I don't like his FB feed?

111 replies

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 04/11/2018 21:32

Guy I sort of know from my running club was recommended to me by a friend to do some fencing and decking work in my garden.

I 'friended' him on FB and see that he's a bit of a twat - posting 'cheeky' pics of women having their bums groped, or pulling a moony etc.
Daft memes about sex and stuff.

I don't feel like he would be some sort of threatening predator or anything, but he just seems like a slime.

AIBU? Obv I can hire who I like, but am wondering if I'm being a bit up myself!

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 05/11/2018 06:56

Bloody hell, if chippies are a dime a dozen, then please send me some! Took me ages to find one and then he was a total pita.

EmmaC78 · 05/11/2018 06:59

Joiners are definately not a dime a dozen. I renovate houses and good joiners are the hardest trade to find. I would overlook the FB page if he does a good job. It wouldn't occur to me to judge a tradesman on his private FB page.

megletthesecond · 05/11/2018 07:01

No.

Aridane · 05/11/2018 07:03

Sorry - the above bit in bold was quoting a poster and agreeing with the sentiment!

SoupDragon · 05/11/2018 07:10

Little bit thought police isn't it?

Seriously? She's deciding whether to hire him, not telling him what he can or can't think.

Why would any woman want someone who thinks it's OK to make jokes about groping women in their home?

MsHopey · 05/11/2018 07:21

My stepdad posts things like that on Facebook (cringe) he's got all my family on there, nan and grandad, no one seems that bothered.
He's coming to lay some decking in the garden, I don't think I'd let a couple tit pictures upset me that much.
Also think does he have a seperate facebook page and you've added his personal one as he's a friend of a friend? It does seem a bit unfair.
Each to their own. But it's a man that shares a few stupid memes but he's really good at his job then I'd still hire him.

glamorousgrandmother · 05/11/2018 07:21

I wouldn't hire him. We had a decorator who liliked to chat. It turned out he was very UKIP and racist, I wouldn't hire him again.

Jaxtellerswife · 05/11/2018 07:21

It's a ridiculous leap to assume he might grope a client Hmm
Whatever OP if you don't want to hire him don't.
If his work was proven really good, I would

SoupDragon · 05/11/2018 07:25

It's a ridiculous leap to assume he might grope a client

He thinks groping women is funny.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2018 07:26

We had a decorator who liliked to chat. It turned out he was very UKIP and racist, I wouldn't hire him again.

I had a roofer like that. No way would I deal with the racist twat again or recommend him to anyone.

TenForward82 · 05/11/2018 07:28

Wouldn't hire him. I'd rather give my money to decent people.

Biggreygoose · 05/11/2018 07:33

I would hire him.

My go to plasterer is tricky to book because a) he's really good b) tends to have a few months off every now and then at HMs pleasure. He is however a genius with a float so I don't care.

You may not be thought police, but you are basically saying he is guilty of wrong think and therefore shouldn't be allowed to work. That is dangerously close to saying; 'wrong religion - doesn't deserve to work' (hello nazi Germany)) or wrong political party - doesn't deserve to work' (hello DRC and various other African countries).

hungryhippo90 · 05/11/2018 07:33

Gonna go against the grain here a little bit.
I’d usually say a flat out no, I’d choose not to have anyone like that in my house doing work at all, but, a good chippy is hard to find, and the last time I checked anyone who is any good has no availability for quite some time.

I’d double check the work that was done for the person who recommended him if he’s ready to get started straight away.

I’d also question him being willing to do that sort of work, given it’s November and not putting you off so he’s spending all that time outdoors if he had any other option to be working indoors.

Cheeeeislifenow · 05/11/2018 07:37

It's not thought police if he is using his Facebook page to book jobs though is it?
I would say no.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2018 07:42

but you are basically saying he is guilty of wrong think and therefore shouldn't be allowed to work. That is dangerously close to saying; 'wrong religion - doesn't deserve to work'

It is not even vaguely similar. Religion is a protected characteristic, being a misogynistic twat isn't.

penisbeakers · 05/11/2018 07:43

I wouldn't. If you're running a business like that, it's unprofessional to behave like that publicly where your customers or potential customers can see it.

smithsally884 · 05/11/2018 07:45

Wouldnt brother me in the slightest so long as his work was good.
People are entitled to their own views and opinions .

differentnameforthis · 05/11/2018 07:47

Little bit thought police isn't it? Yeah, cos it's not like sexual assault is prevalent or harmful or anything is it? Hmm

TwistedStitch · 05/11/2018 07:48

You may not be thought police, but you are basically saying he is guilty of wrong think and therefore shouldn't be allowed to work

Don't be so ridiculous. OP isn't starting a campaign against him, she is trying to decide whether to hire him herself and have him in her home. Nobody is entitled to our custom. Maybe he ought to think about the image he is giving off. Thinking you can be a creepy sexist twat and people will still flock to hire you is the problem.

mayhew · 05/11/2018 07:48

I wouldn't. We had a plumber who was good. I then discovered something about his behaviour towards women that I consider unacceptable.
I no longer employ him.

TheStoic · 05/11/2018 07:48

You may not be thought police, but you are basically saying he is guilty of wrong think and therefore shouldn't be allowed to work. That is dangerously close to saying; 'wrong religion - doesn't deserve to work' (hello nazi Germany)) or wrong political party - doesn't deserve to work' (hello DRC and various other African countries

Lol, no. She’s not basically saying any of that.

You women who are OK with men making sexual harassment jokes need to lift your standards a little. For your daughters’ sakes, at least.

Littlechocola · 05/11/2018 07:49

Why would you add someone on Facebook that was going to do some work for you?

TwistedStitch · 05/11/2018 07:52

People are entitled to their own views and opinions

Yep, and others are entitled to decide on whether they want to give their money to those people. Incidentally would you be saying the same if he was sharing jokes about assaulting people from a different group- a specific race, or gay people for example, or is it just women who are fair game?

ForgivenessIsDivine · 05/11/2018 07:57

I was coming on to say YABU but in reading the post I changed my mind! You are perfectly entitled to choose who you give your money to. A simple 'Thanks for getting in touch, I have actually found a solution but will keep you in mind in the future.'

Original poster
TheOrigRightsofwomen · 05/11/2018 07:58

Scrolled a bit further and found an anti-Muslim post. That was the nail in the coffin.
Messaged him back and told him why I didn't want to use his services.

@BearedMum I friended him as (I think) it's easier to see FB messages if you are friends. Not sure, I didn't think it was a big deal. I can unfriend him now.

OP posts: