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AIBU?

To ask what (in your opinion) makes the perfect childhood?

78 replies

Sandbox · 03/11/2018 17:33

My childhood was awful and I’ve always thought travelling around the world would have been a cool childhood to have

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DoraJar · 03/11/2018 17:35

Loving parents - wherever you are in the world

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TimeToGoToSleep · 03/11/2018 17:36

Trying to have a ‘good enough’ childhood is more reslistic than a perfect childhood.

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Haggisfish · 03/11/2018 17:37

Love and security of unconditional love.

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formerbabe · 03/11/2018 17:39

My childhood was awful and I’ve always thought travelling around the world would have been a cool childhood to have

But surely it wasn't the lack of world travelling that made your childhood awful? Confused

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MissMalice · 03/11/2018 17:42

Attention, emotionally available parents, loving extended family, opportunities and encouragement to get involved in extracurricular activities, consistency, academic support without pressure to succeed.

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Idontbelieveinthemoon · 03/11/2018 17:43

Kindness, unending love in the face of absolute madness and boundaries reinforced gently.

I had a horrid childhood and it wasn't until I was an adult and a parent that I realised that, actually, the main thing I'd missed out on as a child was just basic kindness. Someone thinking to pop your towel on a radiator when you're in the bath so it's warm when you get out. Someone to tuck you in at night and read you a story. Someone to give you a vitamin each morning to make sure you grow up strong. It sounds so simple but those are things I grieved most for when I realised what I'd not had.

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DifferentD35 · 03/11/2018 17:43

Love. Just love. With love comes everything else...

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cheminotte · 03/11/2018 17:44

Stability
Love
Kindness
Loving your child for who they are

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Urbanbeetler · 03/11/2018 17:45

A friend of mine swears hers was the best childhood ever. She was the littlest in the family. They had no money for heating and when it was winter-cold, the whole family used to pile their coats on her bed to keep her warm. She said she felt so loved.

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Merryoldgoat · 03/11/2018 17:48

Loving, kind and parents who were able and willing to advocate for you.

Enough money so you were able to be stable.

The ability to explore interests and be encouraged to develop a passion.

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Merryoldgoat · 03/11/2018 17:51

@differentD35

I can’t subscribe to that romanticised view: I was undoubtedly loved. However I lived in chaos and poverty in an area with a dearth of opportunity.

Love was most definitely not enough.

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gotnoideawhen · 03/11/2018 17:54

Being listened to.

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gotnoideawhen · 03/11/2018 17:55

I don't think an extended family is needed, though.

It's nice when they are there but if not, well, they're not!

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AJPTaylor · 03/11/2018 17:57

My husband had the perfect childhood I reckon. He is the youngest of 4, his parents were 40 when he arrived. His parents were income poor but his dad had his own business and pre school used to take him out and about. His mum stayed at home. They both spent masses of time with him. He had a dog that he adored (she arrived when he was 2 and died he was 18). He went home for his dinner every lunch time. He had lots of friends and freedom. His parents genuinely celebrates all their children's success equally. This turned him into a lovely level headed husband and father himself.

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Greyhorses · 03/11/2018 17:57

Mine was awful. Plenty of money but also alcoholic parents which brought with it plenty of shouting, arguments, physical fights and being left pretty much left to do as we pleased as parents to pissed to care.

I am trying to do the opposite now I am a mother. Lots of time spent doing things together, spending a few hours a day outdoors (with lots of dirt, mud and animals!) not sitting in staring at the tv.
I also do not drink at all unless it’s an event and even then I’d DS is present I keep it tame unlike my parents Hmm

I do think you need a reasonable amount of money to do things but I don’t think money makes a childhood.

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Notquiteagandt · 03/11/2018 17:59

Feeling loved, safe and protected. Knowing their are people in your life whod do absolutely anything to protect you.

Being encouraged and nutured to be the best you can be.

Think is a start. Its alot less about material things.

As a child my friends who where the most spoilt and had the most materialistcally. Had far from what id call a happy childhood.

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Sandbox · 03/11/2018 18:00

formerbabe ha no, I just had a lot of time to think about what I would have liked and I saw a magazine article about a family who home educated and travelled, there was a photo of their kids with penguins so that was me sold on that idea!

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dotty12345 · 03/11/2018 18:04

My mum was my best friend, I could talk to her about anything. She always made me feel special. My best birthday ever, I’d recently split with my ex and had nothing planned. She turned up unannounced with fish and chips and a bottle of Bacardi. She put my kids to bed and then we had a couple of drinks and watched Top Gun. I still miss her every day and it’s been almost 20 years since she died. I’m so lucky to have the same relationship with my daughter.

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Shaboohshoobah1 · 03/11/2018 18:05

I think stability is massively underrated, along with kindness and consistency. I don’t think travelling round the world would be an ideal childhood at all - I think kids thrive when they feel secure and there aren’t too many unknowns. My childhood was ok but parents divorced when I was young which is never ideal - step parents, losing touch with DF & so on. We also had periods where we had no money and that’s not much fun either - kids pick up on parents anxiety and it has made me as an adult really paranoid about losing everything and being really poor - I’m also really tight-fisted as a result! I’d like to avoid giving this to my own kids - obviously it can’t always be helped but the more money worries are kept away from children the better.

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cheminotte · 03/11/2018 19:14

Yes I agree consistency is pretty important as well, it’s like a form of stability.

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bumblenbean · 03/11/2018 20:09

A sense of belonging. When I look back on my childhood, the overwhelming memory is one of absolute belonging and acceptance.

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TenForward82 · 03/11/2018 20:13

I'd take "not being sexually, emotionally or verbally abused by anyone, especially your relatives", personally. Couldn't give a shit about traveling around the world. I actually would have preferred staying in my home country, actually.

Sorry, rather bitter.

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GoodStuffAnnie · 03/11/2018 20:17

Being respected for who you are.

Listening to them.

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MarshaBradyo · 03/11/2018 20:19

Kindness, love, patience and attention and yes stability and security

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fishonabicycle · 03/11/2018 20:22

I would have liked to be able to have friends round often, and to have parents who welcomed them. I spoke to my brother and neither of us ever remember being told by out parents that they loved us. We didn't want for anything but I don't think my upbringing was particularly loving.

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