To ask what (in your opinion) makes the perfect childhood?

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My childhood was awful and I’ve always thought travelling around the world would have been a cool childhood to have

I think about this a lot. I had a wonderful childhood until my Mum died, then it obviously went downhill pretty fast. But the things that I really valued, looking back -
Home was always a safe place (I completely agree with bumblenbean about a sense of belonging).
Being free to play - a lot.
Having friends whose houses I also felt safe and valued in, and having friends over to mine a lot. My parents not being stressy about the house being neat so we could always go mad building forts and making the staircases into slides and so on.
Traditions - Easter, Christmas, Halloween, birthdays - all such special and really
magical times.
Amazing summer holidays together - not to far flung destinations or anything, but I have such happy, happy memories of the family trips we took.
I loved my primary school, that stands out.

Honestly - I think we can go a bit mad trying to give our kids the perfect childhood. My parents got a fair bit wrong too, and I’m doing lots of things differently. But I still
wish I could go back and live it all over again.

I’m not sold on this trend for using world travel with dc as a money spinner
I’m sure they’d prefer to just have a private home life etc

A mum who takes care of you and doesn't allow your father to batter you for the slightest reason.

Love and fun.

Mine was full of love but not so much fun (my parents are very quiet sensible and sedate, my only sibling pretty distant).

I'd imagine it would be to feel truly loved and liked, understood and accepted.

Perfect to me as a child would have been a home in the country with a horse and a quad bike  with emotionally available parents.

• Not too many siblings (I'm one of 4 - bitter)

-A mother who could cope and not act like a psycho and a father who would play and spend time with us. He couldn't even remember our full names and birthdays.

I never understood why they had so many children, I still don't.

I think my DC would hate world travel. They're not that keen on holidays as they relish routine and stability. They also like plenty of time at home not doing much, whether that's playing on the trampoline, with Lego or doing some colouring.

I loved being at home when I was little. With my toys and my own bedroom and the pantry with good food. My dc are pretty similar.

They get excited about holidays but definitely enjoy home life.

This is an interesting question.
Mine was by far not the worst childhood but there were significant issues.
I have tried hard to listen to my children’s worries and thoughts.
I think being loved is important but that comes in many different ways and a child needs to feel loved not just be loved by their parents.
Stability is underrated and finances come into that but lots of money isn’t necessary whereas enough money for food rent bills and some extras is vital.

I was very lucky and had a lovely childhood - but not without problems. My parents were poor, we lived in a tiny house, my dad was injured at work and as a result suffered mental health issues. However we had a campervan and spent weekends all over the Uk, despite being an only child I had lots of family around and most of all there was so much love and laughter.
I try to give my DS what I had and he is lucky that my wonderful parents are around. Sadly his dad does not know how to be either a husband or a parent and sees his son for just a couple of hours here and there when he can fit him in. I like to think me and my parents offer him enough.

Togetherness. An enjoyment of that togetherness. I can't explain it any other way really. Just the warmth that comes from knowing that when you come home freezing cold from football training, the lights are on, you can smell dinner cooking, you walk into a warm house and hear all the sounds that make a family home. A warm hug, a hot bath, a bowl of soup when you're feeling poorly. Knowing that no matter how badly you behave, whatever you do, to someone you're the most important person on earth.

Definitely not world travel!

We lived in many different houses, countries, I went to multiple schools - it was not a secure stable life which I craved

Was determined my DC would have stability and live in one house, go to one primary and one secondary (at least until 16)

Love first - to know your parents have your back, whatever and love you for the person you are

Then stability & security

I had a rubbish childhood and I have terrible anxiety that I will be a bad Mum.

What I would like for my daughter:

• Parents together in a loving marriage.
• A comfortable life with a nice house/holidays when we can. Pets!
• To feel loved, respected and secure.
• A lot of opportunities for hobbies and support with education, I want her to feel confident and I’ll tell her how smart she is everyday
• Freedom but not neglect like I had

I remember, I must have been about 7/8 years old. I was around my best friends house, she lived on the nicer side of town. We were getting ready to go out and her Mum said ‘quick, put on your coat while it’s still warm and toasty!’ And took it off the radiator to give to her. I remember this because I remember thinking my Mum would never care enough to do that for me.

Little things like that really.

perfectpeony from what you’ve said you’re going to be a lovely mum

Stability, protection, love, warmth All things that were missing from mine. I'm sure there are other important things but you notice what is missing.

Feeling loved. Like the person above said the child needs to actually feel loved.
Listened to.
Secure in that love. I hope to god I can make my child feel like this

Not being constantly compared to my sister would have been nice. My dad told me when I was 8 that people preferred my sister because she was more interesting, and he called me a fat cow and a tart when I was 10. I didn't feel very loved.

I think selling the notion of a perfect childhood is one of the key reasons for increase in children reporting mental ill health. We’re telling them to aim for the absolutely impossible and sending them for treatment when they feel sad they don’t attain that perfection.

There is no perfect childhood. There are good enough and happy enough but we can’t recognise joy without experiencing pain too. Parents are human. They all make mistakes. Children need to learn to cope with injustice, failure, physical pain, emotional pain, stress and pressure, hot, cold, friends and changing relationships. It builds resilience and is essential for mental well being and healthy, well adjusted adulthood. Accepting imperfections and laying them aside is vital to growing up.

Children need secure emotional attachments throughout their infancy and then opportunities to develop skills, knowledge and relationships outside that attachment. Parents being over involved and stepping in to cure friendship challenges, refusing to allow them to take risks or complain to school about very minor issues are doing their children a huge disservice.

One's siblings not dying would be a good start.

I'm not sure... but I think what would go a long way is to feel accepted and respected as a real person in your own right, with autonomous thoughts and legitimate feelings.

What I always missed was having a mum who was around for me a lot - my mum worked full time but was a bit of a martyr about it. I remember thinking I don’t care about nice holidays and house we have I just want my mum around more. I have never forgotten this and I now work but only term time and 2 days a week - I know that’s not an option for all but I like working but also remember how much I missed my mum being around growing up so don’t want to work too much if possible

Love. If children are loved as they should be, that's one of the most important things. Then along with that, is a need to be respected...as in respecting what a child enjoys/their opinions. As posters have mentioned, a stable and enjoyable home life is key.

Parents that stay together and love each other. We were very financially comfortable but my parents divorce soured any good memories of my childhood and blighted my adolescence. We are not so well off, but at least DH & I are still together and haven't inflicted new partners on our children. Which from my point of view is priceless.

Not being made to feel guilty that I’d been born!

All a child needs is at least one parent who's crazy about them.

A good Childhood - is to be encouraged, believed in, to be played with, to have your imagination fostered, to have someone pick you up when you fall, someone to wipe away your tears and listen to your fears. To forgive your tantrums and grumps and moans, to take pride in your triumphs however small, to back you up and support your goals. Someone who asks for forgiveness when they get it wrong but always forgives yours. Someone who helps you grow and become independent.

Someone who would gladly suffer so you don't. Someone who will love you forever, however imperfect you are because they know they too are imperfect.

I had a fantastic childhood on the whole, lots of love, parents still together and just generally happy.

For me a “perfect” (though I don’t think there’s such a thing) childhood is

• full of love
• stability
• parents who are together and in a happy marriage
• enough money to not worry about things
• parents who have time to spend with their kids. Never having to worry about money as a child is one thing, but if you never see your parents because they are constantly working, you are missing out too.

My parents did their best and provided a great foundation for us, I’m so grateful.