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AIBU?

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Original poster

I was told off by a work colleague

454 replies

selepele · 02/11/2018 20:28

i have been at my current job since June, the person concerned has been there longer than me. He is the accounts guy, not my manager and I do not need to answer to him at all.

He works downstairs and me upstairs but you can see my desk if you walk round the corner from downstairs as I'm at the top of the stairs.

I work as admin so people sometimes ask me to type up stuff for them ect, which is no issues. I was hired to do the project manager and ICT persons admin.

so this particular person I have never had issues with and had a good relationship with until today.

He ask me to type up some stuff and I ask when does he need it by which he says "its not urgent, like 2-3 days I don't need it today" he gave me this work around 3pm

so everyone has left the office and it is just me and him (we are a small team of around 8) he walks pass the stairs (at the bottom of the stairs) once and sees me on my phone, he then does it again to go loo then when he is back turns around and says to me...

"I will appreciate if you do what I told you to do and not play on your phone"
I said I am doing it which he said "no youre not" and I said you told me it wasn't urgent which he said "that's not the point you don't just sit there on your phone"

I was very shocked by his attitude, as stated he is NOT my manager or of any authority to me.

He didn't even come upstairs to see if I had done anything since giving it to me so I made a point to finish it all and put it on his desk before the end of the day at 5pm.

I then left and I did slam the door and ignore him when he said bye to me.

do you think I am wrong at all?

He asked me to type up some stuff for him, which was fine

OP posts:
honeyrider · 05/11/2018 00:31

If that is the case, think about the teachers and nurses and doctors who can never play around on their phones. Any job that is public facing could never do this.

More and more teachers especially younger teachers are on their phones and facebook etc during class time. I've had to report this to my son's principal when it was happening the whole time with a particular teacher.

JingsMahBucket · 05/11/2018 00:36

@Ilikeknitting

I’ve reported this post. I will not be told to “piss off” by some jumped up little girl with a poor command of the written word. You’d not talk to me like that on the street, so why so rude on mumsnet?*

I’m not surprised your college has to tell you how to behave at work!! You’re rude and nasty.

😂😂😂....😂😂😂 right then. Keep clutching your pearls.

WitchesHatRim · 05/11/2018 05:36

HopeGardenandWitchesHatRim. Of course people do this kind of thing. In many situations their bosses won't care even if it is discovered. They might be warned to stop it. If the worst comes to the worst they will be fired which I'm sure will give both of you a warm glow.

Oh get of your high horse. No industry or place that I have ever known woukd let you do it in work time. That is why I said it.

PersianCatLady · 05/11/2018 06:00

I would definitely mention the double payment of wages when you mention your phone use at work if you want to get fired.

Gabilan · 05/11/2018 06:38

I’ve worked in places where the company policies explicitly state that that sort of thing is a disciplinary matter, which is why I asked

Likewise. Wherever I've worked, contracts have explicitly stated that you're not to do that. In FT employment they can also get sniffy about paid work you do in your own time especially if they think it may create a conflict of interest.

I assess on productivity rather than activity. But if I thought someone I was employing had time e.g. to run an Ebay sideline whilst at work, I'd assume I wasn't giving them enough to do. Sure, some breaks make you more efficient. It's better to treat people like responsible adults and they're not prisoners. But messaging clients whilst at work, regularly and frequently? Not something I've really seen tolerated, and I've work in different environments.

JingsMahBucket · 05/11/2018 06:46

Some of you sound like you have major control issues.

WitchesHatRim · 05/11/2018 06:53

Some of you sound like you have major control issues.

Nope. Nice try though.

Gwenhwyfar · 05/11/2018 06:55

"But messaging clients whilst at work, regularly and frequently? Not something I've really seen tolerated, and I've work in different environments."

I find it a bit odd as I would personally do personal or occasionally volunteer things at work, but not work for another employer. BUT, I have seen it tolerated. First time was a person with two jobs who was told at the interview that she could do things for the other job in her downtime. However, this was an agreement between her and her boss and other people in the office disapproved.

Another person I knew did translations in the evening and the only way to secure the jobs was to reply during the working day so she'd send short emails back. I suppose she wasn't doing the actual work during the day and from her main employer's perspective it wasn't different to sending a few personal messages in terms of time away from work.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/11/2018 07:00

You said at your interview that you would need to be setting up appointments for your second job while working for these people and they said it was fine? You’re right it is a very informal workplace!

As for the two wages thing, you absolutely should not have been told that. Or anything about how anyone is paid.

WellThisIsShit · 05/11/2018 07:09

Well I hope you get on ok today

Ilikeknitting · 05/11/2018 08:15

Knitting lol yes I would talk to you like that on the street trust me and tha s why you’re virtually unemployable. Good luck with your next Julie b, because you won’t have this one much longer !

limitedperiodonly · 05/11/2018 08:17

Oh get of your high horse. No industry or place that I have ever known woukd let you do it in work time. That is why I said it.

Just because you've never come across it doesn't mean it doesn't happen WitchesHatRim. I've done it. My boss knew and was perfectly okay with it as long as I got her work done first.

HeronLanyon · 05/11/2018 08:20

Btw I’ve been in meetings recently where someone has been knitting. ( triggered by username). The person knitting was taking active part in things but it was so disconcerting/unexpected ! Really serious full in court case management meeting (before not in court). Still mulling over that form of multitasking. I wonder if there was perhaps some social anxiety issue which the knitting was helping or similar. We all ignored it but I for one was bursting to say ‘someone is knitting and we are all saying nothing about it !’ Feel better just having typed that.

PenelopeFlintstone · 05/11/2018 08:38

@ilikeknitting
I will not be told to “piss off” by some jumped up little girl Well, I don't like your description but she's already done it so you have been. Grin
You started it when you sarcastically called her 'Honey'. Would you say that to a random in the street and not expect a mouthful back?
And as for 'jumped up' - what exactly did you mean there? Care to elaborate?

ButchyRestingFace · 05/11/2018 08:43

Still mulling over that form of multitasking. I wonder if there was perhaps some social anxiety issue which the knitting was helping or similar

Yes, I imagine there was something going on there. A very productive way of managing any issue though.

Perhaps you could put in a request? Wink

HeronLanyon · 05/11/2018 09:08

butchyrestingface I like that thinking. However I think we were all supposed not to notice/mention. I could inadvertently undo all the therapeutic effect by ordering say a [santa] and monitoring progress etc. Could exacerbate things. Have to say she was knitting a very drudgy looking item - sludgy colour and plain knit / rectangle (I tried not to stare too much) think it really was ‘just’ therapeutic ?

Cressida89 · 05/11/2018 09:09

Dear god. This thread is like a convention for Most Sanctimonious Mumsnetters.

How delighted they all are to be able to tell off OP for all manner of things, many of them entirely fabricated!

Of course the accounts guy was being an arse. Sounds like he was enjoying bossing round a younger female colleague. Quelle surprise!

Sounds like half the pp would have enjoyed doing exactly the same too. So pathetic.

TheStoic · 05/11/2018 09:11

You generally need to ‘earn’ the right to faff around on personal things during work time. If you’ve only been there 4 months or so, you haven’t.

I think he’s a bit of a jobsworth twat, but I also think he’s done you a favour. Don’t be (seen to be) the flakey employee.

Juells · 05/11/2018 09:17

HeronLanyon
Btw I’ve been in meetings recently where someone has been knitting.

Was it Jane Fae? Grin I've seen JF knitting on TV when on a panel discussion. It looked quite passive aggressive.

Could your colleague have been scene-stealing? Steve McQueen was known for doing that kind of thing - always doing something eye-catching in the background when someone else was having their big moment on camera.

manicmij · 05/11/2018 09:21

I would object to anyone being on their phone doing personal stuff during work time. That guy though doesnt appear to have any role in your management. If he wanted to ensure you didn't abuse work time he should have raised it with your manager the first opportunity not the way he did. Tell your manager what happened and ask for clarification on phone use and your responsibility to carry out work for Mr Bully.

HeronLanyon · 05/11/2018 09:29

juells I did indeed start thinking along the lines of ‘omg talk about attention seeking’ then I checked myself and became a little more thoughtful about why. Still mulling. It was a very full on tricky meeting about evidence and tactics which I was leading and then running the case in court. Either way can’t believe the amount of brain space I seem to have used on knitting !

Sb74 · 05/11/2018 09:34

Could be one of a few things...Your bosses mights be ok with you doing your other work at their company but your colleagues will resent it if they know. It could be he is attracted to you but to difficult for a man to manage with him being so much older, this based on him sharing too much info with you, and I think in his head he is probably trying to impress you with his authority! He may also have issues that he has not achieved what he wanted in life so a young girl is easy an target for him to feel powerful over.

limitedperiodonly · 05/11/2018 09:39

Could your colleague have been scene-stealing? Steve McQueen was known for doing that kind of thing - always doing something eye-catching in the background

The sexy chess scene in the Thomas Crown Affair would have been so much better if he'd have tried to put Faye Dunaway off by knitting.

EthelHornsby · 05/11/2018 09:40

@Juells
Knitting helps me concentrate - I knit in concerts, it gives my hands something to do while listening to the music. I can imaging knitting in meetings - otherwise I would be doodling, making paper aeroplanes, biting my nails or something equally distracting. Knitting keeps the monkey brain something to do so the rest of the brain can concentrate on the subject in hand. Not passive-aggressive at all

tinstar · 05/11/2018 10:15

EthelHornsby - knitting in a concert?!!!!! That must be really irritating for people sat near you. I would ask you to stop - politely of course!