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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I was told off by a work colleague

454 replies

selepele · 02/11/2018 20:28

i have been at my current job since June, the person concerned has been there longer than me. He is the accounts guy, not my manager and I do not need to answer to him at all.

He works downstairs and me upstairs but you can see my desk if you walk round the corner from downstairs as I'm at the top of the stairs.

I work as admin so people sometimes ask me to type up stuff for them ect, which is no issues. I was hired to do the project manager and ICT persons admin.

so this particular person I have never had issues with and had a good relationship with until today.

He ask me to type up some stuff and I ask when does he need it by which he says "its not urgent, like 2-3 days I don't need it today" he gave me this work around 3pm

so everyone has left the office and it is just me and him (we are a small team of around 8) he walks pass the stairs (at the bottom of the stairs) once and sees me on my phone, he then does it again to go loo then when he is back turns around and says to me...

"I will appreciate if you do what I told you to do and not play on your phone"
I said I am doing it which he said "no youre not" and I said you told me it wasn't urgent which he said "that's not the point you don't just sit there on your phone"

I was very shocked by his attitude, as stated he is NOT my manager or of any authority to me.

He didn't even come upstairs to see if I had done anything since giving it to me so I made a point to finish it all and put it on his desk before the end of the day at 5pm.

I then left and I did slam the door and ignore him when he said bye to me.

do you think I am wrong at all?

He asked me to type up some stuff for him, which was fine

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 02/11/2018 20:46

Has he really been 'rude' though? The words in your OP don't suggest he has been rude, though I realise his tone of voice might've been ruder than his words.

WitchesHatRim · 02/11/2018 20:47

I am going to suggest its best I don't do his admin as I do not wish to be spoken to like that again

Good luck with that having only been in the job for 4 months.

Maelstrop · 02/11/2018 20:50

Ask your manager if a) you should be accepting work from others given you’re meant to be the PA for 2 people and b) is it ok to quickly message a family member who’s in hospital.

You should have told him you are allowed to use your phone-you’re not in school-and that he is not your manager.

Original poster
selepele · 02/11/2018 20:50

hope I agree however he wouldn't say it to anyone else in there besides me. There is a lady who has been there around 26years she does the same job as me but is there for two days and he wouldn't say it to her.

He wouldn't say it to the ICT lady who is always on her phone having convos at her desk.

Point is he picked me out because I am new and he did it when nobody else was in the building.
He had no place to talk to me like that especially when I was doing him a favour.

and I am glad I was rude back, I wont be talking to him again tbh.

OP posts:
onceandneveragain · 02/11/2018 20:51

OP you will get some weird responses because some MNers live in an alternate universe where it is completely unacceptable to ever check your phone, have a chat or go for a smoke break while on work time and are unable to understand that lots of workplaces are more relaxed than theirs and all the above are completely acceptable, in fact encouraged.

Regardless of what you were doing, if thia guy is not your superior he has no right to comment on what you are doing particularly as you were already doing him a favour. I would just not do his work in the future if it is not your job. I don't think you should ignore him and slam door if you're in a mood though - it's not very professional - be polite but not friendly.

YeOldeTrout · 02/11/2018 20:52

I want to suggest don't plan to say anything to him, honest, don't let this take up any more of your weekend. BUT, if he asks again, that's the moment when you say "That wouldn't be for the best but I'm sure X is available to do your admin." Drily explain why you don't want his admin if he pushes it. This is so not worth getting emotional about.

Kay2705 · 02/11/2018 20:53

You are not being unreasonable. I check my phone at work and even my manager doesn't tell me off. I'd have told him to get lost

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/11/2018 20:53

If his admin isn't your job responsibility, then don't do it for him in future. Tell him you are busy - and make sure that you are.

Whether your boss minds you being on the phone or not, it sends out the wrong message. I agree with Pants that if you were still going to do his work (which is your choice) you should have made him wait for it.

You were doing this as a favour to him and he was out of order speaking toy the way he did, BUT if you are obviously sitting idle you are in a poor positions to complain.

And your relative's boredom's not a reason to contact her during the day. When you first said "relative in hospital" I thought you were worried and waiting for news - not that you were just passing the time of day.

Original poster
selepele · 02/11/2018 20:53

I agree I acted wrong ignoring him and slamming the door I probably should have just brought it up there and then with him.

I am going to have a word with my manager on Monday and let her know.

OP posts:
sluj · 02/11/2018 20:54

I would keep my mouth shut and hope you get away with being caught on your phone twice in working hours. Where I work, any manager is expected to jump in if they see unprofessional behaviour.

Are you a school leaver in your first job OP? Or perhaps your first office job? Your behaviour and reaction do sound a bit extreme. Sorry

starzig · 02/11/2018 20:54

I can see why other prople may be annoyed at you sitting on the phone during work hours. If it is just because hospitalised person is bored, then that is not on. If it is because of another critical issue that needs dealing with then speak to your manager before using your phone then your back is covered.

Nesssie · 02/11/2018 20:54

He was out of order and rude. My work place allows casual phone use so that wouldn’t be a problem.
I wouldn’t have done his work, he doesn’t sound very nice at all.

littlestrawby · 02/11/2018 20:54

i'm surprised so many people are hung up on you being on your phone! We're all adults, we can handle our work and know if we have time to send a message or two during the day. Surely all that matters is that our output is good. I would hate to work anywhere where I had to be giving the impression of constantly concentrating to avoid a telling off!

WitchesHatRim · 02/11/2018 20:54

and I am glad I was rude back, I wont be talking to him again tbh.

You slammed doors and ignored him. That isn't professional. The 'I won't talk to him again' makes you sound like a stroppy teenager.

JennyHolzersGhost · 02/11/2018 20:56

This place is so full of bizarre contrarians these days. It’s really quite trollish.

OP, I would ask your line manager on Monday to clarify your role and whether typing stuff for this guy is part of the job. Not in an oppositional way, just in a constructive way. I would also mention the incident to your manager, just to make sure your version of events is heard.

MiniCooperLover · 02/11/2018 20:56

OP, you can't work somewhere as an Admin and declare 'I won't be talking to him again', you don't get that choice !!!

needsanewname · 02/11/2018 20:57

Most of my office are on their phones for the majority of the day. Mobile phone use is much more relaxed than it used to be. A quick 2 minute text isn't going to harm anyone or effect work.

I do forget on MN though that everyone sits and stares intently at their monitor for 8 hours a day, they don't even go to the toilet on company time.

Passmethecrisps · 02/11/2018 21:01

What once said.

He asked you to do work which isn’t your job. Then he become officious over something which doesn’t appear to be an issue at all within that environment.

Slamming the door and ignoring him was petty and a silly response. It does make you seem immature. If your point is that he has no right to treat you like he is superior then don’t fall into the trap of acting like a child.

mickeymacca · 02/11/2018 21:01

OP are you a teenager and is this your first job?

woodhill · 02/11/2018 21:01

I would keep my head down and not mention it again. Be polite and professional to him. Hopefully he won't ask you again

He did have a cheek as you were doing extra but just be subtle with your phone use

Original poster
selepele · 02/11/2018 21:02

when I say I wont talk to him I mean banter wise. We got along, I would have small convos with him about things I do or him ect, that's is what I mean

I wont be talking to him about anything other than work that is what I mean

OP posts:
DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 02/11/2018 21:03

Regardless of who was wrong here, I think it would be worth clarifying who you do work for and who you can refuse to do work for. If this isn't very clear, you pave the way for all sort of problems.

Gabilan · 02/11/2018 21:03

he walks pass the stairs (at the bottom of the stairs) once and sees me on my phone, he then does it again to go loo then when he is back turns around and says to me...

So he went past once, you were on your phone and he said nothing? Then when he went past a second time and you were still on your phone he said something? That seems reasonable from him. ignore this the first time because yes, we're adults and no, it's not banned. But the second time is a bit different. And whilst what he wanted done wasn't urgent, you might as well get it done whilst you have time, in case something else lands on your desk just before that piece of work is due.

I would clarify whether or not you are supposed to do admin for him. But I wouldn't be slamming doors and just going off in a huff. It's not really an appropriate way to deal with that situation.

Sparklesocks · 02/11/2018 21:03

I don’t think checking your phone here and there at work is that big a deal. People have fag breaks and tea breaks, I would say a phone break is acceptable as long as you aren’t on it constantly.

And he isn’t your manager so really he has no place telling you off for things like that. It’s none of his business.

It might be good to clarify with your boss if you’re meant to be doing admin for him or if he’s trying his luck. I am a PA and have worked as an office manager and admin assistant before, and your wide remit means sometimes people can take advantage and ask you to do things that aren’t really your duties because they loosely fall under admin.

However slamming the door and using the silent treatment isn’t professional, I know it can be annoying if someone has wound you up at work but you need to rise above it and keep your professional face on.

EssexMummy123456 · 02/11/2018 21:05

Sounds like he is trying his luck, why can't he do his own typing?

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