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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not returned lost property ever again

77 replies

Vex591 · 02/11/2018 16:02

Over the years, I have found numerous bank cards, phones, wallets with cash, bags etc. and always done the right thing and tried hard to get things back to their owners with a 90% success rate - the only thing not able to trace was a child's backpack and toy I found on a path and then posted to local Mums pages.

About two months ago, my DH managed to lose his wallet and it has never been returned despite having his driving license in it, it had £200 in it and really left us in the lurch. We later discovered his pocket had ripped away from his jeans so likely fell down through his leg unnoticed.

This week we have been away at Center Parcs. My 15 year old son saved his monthly pocket money and all the spending money gifted to him to buy a computer game when we got home and had saved £50. Yesterday afternoon we hunted for the wallet and can last remember having it in the burger place and then we went to a disco on site. We spent the whole of yesterday evening trying to find it and once again having revisited every venue and lost property it hasn't been handed in. He is absolutely gutted, it's ruined his holiday and he was looking forward to coming home and buying his game, he was so sensible with his spending so that he could save.

I'm so cross and upset. It's clearly not an adults wallet and I had hoped it would have been handed in.

What's the point in doing the right thing when noone else seems to? How can we get unlucky twice for these wallets to be found by people with no conscience when I couldn't live with myself if it was the other way round?

OP posts:

Travelledtheworld · 02/11/2018 17:53

We were on holiday in a touristy part of a developing nation, and my husband dropped $1000 cash on the street one night.
We walked every inch of that street looking for it and never found anything. I just hope it was found and used wisely by someone who really needed it.

Rebecca36 · 02/11/2018 17:54

Well he had £200 in the wallet when he lost it so someone who needed money or worse, was greedy, kept it.

That was obviously not right; I've had similar happen to me and it was dreadful but please don't let it put you off doing the right thing when possible. It hasn't put me off.

My husband once lost his wallet on holiday on top of a cliff! We went into a fish and chip shop and it wasn't until he was going to pay that he realised. We were so upset but went outside and a man was coming in brandishing the wallet and saying, is Mr........here?

You're not the only honest person, don't let unfortunate incidents spoil you.

InfiniteVariety · 02/11/2018 17:54

MissionItsPossible that's awful - it's particularly important to praise children for doing the right thing if you want them to continue to do it

PookieDo · 02/11/2018 17:56

I was running late for a train and completely forgot to take my cash from the machine after the card had come out. I was outside a fairly busy station. I realised within about 30 seconds what I had done, turned back and whoever it was had just taken it. It was all I had and I was really devastated with myself for doing it. I would still help to return something though as I know how it feels to lose it!

InfiniteVariety · 02/11/2018 17:57

Yes Travelledtheworld although aggravating & inconvenient, it is always easier to make peace with such an incident in those circumstances because you can be fairly sure whoever found it probably needed it more than you did yourself!

OoMatron · 02/11/2018 17:59

I’ve found wallets and keys...I’ve always handed them in ☺️ It took me about 5days once because the police station was massively out of my way. My husband lost his keys in the snow last year. A kind soul handed those in. So yabu, there are plenty of good people out there. Yanbu to be upset that they are lost though

Miscible · 02/11/2018 18:02

I once worked temporarily with someone who came in one morning boasting about the fact that she'd found an evening bag with £400 in which she obviously intended to keep. She justified it to herself by saying the owner was obvious rich and could afford it, even though there was absolutely no evidence of that, and got very cross when we pointed out that this was outright theft. Ultimately someone did report her to the police but she denied everything, and they didn't seem to take it further.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 02/11/2018 18:05

I‘ve always either handed things in or traced the owner myself - the latest being a handbag with a heap of cards, keys, money and a passport in. The owner was very grateful to have them back. As was I when I lost my handbag and the finder was able to contact me via my iPhone. Please don’t stop being so honest, OP. We need good people in the world.

anitagreen · 02/11/2018 18:17

I found a brand new iPhone 6s when they first came out on the bus once and the owner was happy to get it back but they caused me so much aggro I wish now I didn't find it,
Also left my makeup bag with my house keys in and my shed keys, and makeup worth around £180 on a cafe table. It was handed in!
Lost my drivers license never been handed in,

Orangecake123 · 02/11/2018 18:22

Two weeks ago I was in a coffee shop. I saw a smartphone left on the sofa where the woman opposite me was sitting. I ran after her as she had literally walked out of the shop.

She said thank you, but later came back and gave me a £10 gift voucher for the coffee shop.

I believe in karma- keep being you OP.

Travelledtheworld · 02/11/2018 18:30

Infinitevariety yes it was a definite redistribution of wealth, although it was our holiday grocery shopping money it would have kept a family in that poor Caribbean island going for several months.

Also DH had been a complete knob and I had told him firmly to split it, give some to me and NOT to carry it around in an unsecured bag. So it was also a massive "told you so " moment.

CandyCreeper · 02/11/2018 18:39

im with you op. I have never had anytb

MixedMaritalArts · 02/11/2018 18:39

We have both found and returned by local contacts or handing into police several items. Two out of four of kids lost phones returned to us ... finders keepers is not a thing in our house.

CandyCreeper · 02/11/2018 18:42

posted too soon! I have never had anything ive lost get returned. I once left my shopping bags on the bus and it was the only food I had and i had no money to buy more. they were never handed in.

anitagreen · 02/11/2018 18:49

Also the other day the HMRC keeps sending letters to our address to the previous tenant saying they couldn't find him etc when I phoned up and this was the only port of call they had for him. Anyway I opened up a letter to try and find some sort of detail to find this man myself it was a cheque for £4000. I found him on Facebook within 15 minutes he was over the moon. When I told HMRC I'd be sending it back before I found him they asked me to destroy it and they'd close the tax account down

CreativeMumma · 02/11/2018 18:51

please don't stop! i lost a ruby earring this week and feel sick every time i think about it. It has huge sentimental value as well as financial. i'm preying someone hands it in.

ALongHardWinter · 02/11/2018 18:54

I feel for you OP. I too have handed in numerous lost items over the years,everything from mobile phones to debit cards. But on the couple of occasions when I've lost my phone and my purse,nothing.

ImogenTubbs · 02/11/2018 19:22

I'm very sorry for your negative experiences, but YABVU if you think this means you shouldn't do the right thing. You do the right thing because it's the right thing, not because you expect to be rewarded. There are plenty of wonderful people out there, and plenty of shitty people. Which one do you want to be?

Havaina · 02/11/2018 19:36

My money/keys/debit card have been handed in a few times.

Dropped three tenners after going to the cash machine, they were handed in to Reception

Left £40 cash back in Asda self-service till, was handed in and put in huge folder of left behind cash, carefully dated.

Car keys handed in to security, I must have drooped them in a car park.

And a few other times. All in London.

I haven't found much but I like to think I'd do my best to get the things to the owner.

InfiniteVariety · 02/11/2018 19:49

Havaina it sounds as if you have been exceptionally lucky! I think it is pretty unusual to get lost cash back

Original poster

Vex591 · 02/11/2018 19:54

Harmony is restored here!

We unpacked and DH left his rucksack that we had both checked out on the side. Something just niggled me and I checked for hidden compartments, slid my hand down what seemed to be the back material and at the bottom found my DS' wallet! One of us must have put it in the bag when it was full and not realised it had made its way into another compartment! So I am feeling better to know that there wasn't some horrible person involved here 😊

OP posts:

ruffian · 02/11/2018 19:59

lovely for your ds!

TittyFahLaEtcetera · 02/11/2018 20:05

So sorry OP. My phone got stolen last year. The crazy thing was the whole thing was caught on CCTV - the young bloke behind me saw it fall out of my pocket, bent down, picked it up, looked around to see if anyone saw, then ran in the opposite direction!

I apologised to the police for wasting their time as it was my fault for dropping it, but they said no, the guy was right behind me. He could have called out, tapped me on the shoulder or handed it in at the police station, but nope, he was opportunistic and ran off with it.

Really changed my opinion of people in my town. I've caught up with people if their baby has so much as dropped a toy or shoe, let alone anything expensive.

Though I do try to only take what cash I need out with me on holidays, not the whole amount.

TittyFahLaEtcetera · 02/11/2018 20:06

Cross posted with your update OP. Great news!!!

allthegoodnamesalreadytaken · 02/11/2018 20:22

I too lost my purse at centreparcs last year. It had around £80 cash and cards etc. I kept hoping someone would hand it in but no one ever did.

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