Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To not returned lost property ever again

77 replies

Vex591 · 02/11/2018 16:02

Over the years, I have found numerous bank cards, phones, wallets with cash, bags etc. and always done the right thing and tried hard to get things back to their owners with a 90% success rate - the only thing not able to trace was a child's backpack and toy I found on a path and then posted to local Mums pages.

About two months ago, my DH managed to lose his wallet and it has never been returned despite having his driving license in it, it had £200 in it and really left us in the lurch. We later discovered his pocket had ripped away from his jeans so likely fell down through his leg unnoticed.

This week we have been away at Center Parcs. My 15 year old son saved his monthly pocket money and all the spending money gifted to him to buy a computer game when we got home and had saved £50. Yesterday afternoon we hunted for the wallet and can last remember having it in the burger place and then we went to a disco on site. We spent the whole of yesterday evening trying to find it and once again having revisited every venue and lost property it hasn't been handed in. He is absolutely gutted, it's ruined his holiday and he was looking forward to coming home and buying his game, he was so sensible with his spending so that he could save.

I'm so cross and upset. It's clearly not an adults wallet and I had hoped it would have been handed in.

What's the point in doing the right thing when noone else seems to? How can we get unlucky twice for these wallets to be found by people with no conscience when I couldn't live with myself if it was the other way round?

OP posts:

Racecardriver · 02/11/2018 17:16

YABU becaus you are upset. But your reasoning you should start committing tax fraud and steal handbags from little old ladies.

DuckofDoom · 02/11/2018 17:16

I lost an expensive handbag in the back of a taxi, containing my purse with money in. The passenger who caught the taxi next after I got out hunted me down on Facebook and I picked it up the next day. We offered him a reward but he declined. Also lost a wallet when I was at uni and the person who found it contacted me straight away.

I like to believe most people are good. There’s a good chance the wallets haven’t even been found. Even so, not having your own things handed in is not a reason to keep anything you find in future

Noboozeforme · 02/11/2018 17:18

I recently found bag on a train platform. It had lots of stuff in it including a passport. I went to hand it in at the ticket office only to be told that if I handed it in they would cut up any bank cards.. so I took it to work with me and left messages on the owners work phone and on FB (plus several of her FB friends).

She got the bag back 30 minutes later.

It feels good to return things to thier rightful owners. Don't stop being nice.

OhhEnnEmm · 02/11/2018 17:18

If you're this angry at the people who found the stuff and never handed it in, you've answered you're own question. Yes it is unreasonable.

ScreamingValenta · 02/11/2018 17:19

My husband left a pair of prescription glasses on a bench at a wildlife park - they disappeared in the 30 minutes it took him to realise and go back. Not handed in - yet they'd be no use to anyone. The frames were £25 Specsavers ones, so it's not as though they'd be worth anyone's while to re-lens.

HopefullyAnonymous · 02/11/2018 17:19

It would be theft to keep them. Don’t lower yourself to their standards, assuming these items were actually stolen and not just lost.

DistanceCall · 02/11/2018 17:19

I strongly believe that wickedness (or maliciousness, or evil, or being bad, or whatever you want to call it) is its own punishment. Someone who keeps what is clearly a young person's wallet is not going to have a good life (even if they tell themselves they are).

Bear that in mind.

MereDintofPandiculation · 02/11/2018 17:20

lost her car keys between the shop and the car park outside!! ...to this day, no one has handed them in. I lost my car keys in my own back garden 15 years ago and to this day have not found them.

Weeding DS's front garden, I found car keys just at the edge of the pavement - his! that he'd lost 8 months previously. So 8 months when anyone could have picked them up and helped themselves to his car.

OP - it's your choice. How important is it to you to be able to respect yourself as a decent person?

1forAll74 · 02/11/2018 17:20

Yes,its always best to be truthful,and hand in peoples lost items,or try and trace the person. But there are a lot of un savioury people about,who will just keep wallets,keys,or mobile phones etc,

This is not quite the same,,but many many years ago,when heavily pregnant, I was in a small supermarket with my Mum at Christmas time.we were looking around the meat section..then two men near us,with a very large holdall bag, began to load up this bag.with joints of beef,lamb,pork and chickens etc, then scooted out of the door.

My Mum then hastily went to find the manager. or some staff, who then ran out into the street to chase about to find the thieves,, but they got away through the densely packed shoppers all over the pavements.

ladycarlotta · 02/11/2018 17:22

I think these experiences should be all the more reason you DO hand stuff in to lost property should you ever find it. You know how crap it is when people don't.

RomanyRoots · 02/11/2018 17:24

Your family need to wise up and stop losing things.
Seriously, this might make them more careful.

It's a shame people aren't more honest and hand things in, but we live in a greedy society where most people are out for themselves.

Kokapetl · 02/11/2018 17:24

I left my handbag on the bus and it was handed in with everything still in. I was so relieved!

I think most people do hand things in/ try to find the owner but as others say, your family's things may not have been found at all. They may have fallen down a drain or have been accidentally kicked into a hedge.

cupofteaandcake · 02/11/2018 17:25

OP I can understand how you feel, I like you always hand stuff in/do the right thing. Sorry to be negative but I do think a lot of kindness and consideration has gone out of society, I think people are more out for themselves these days. That said I will continue to hand things in etc because I believe it is the right thing to do. Can you claim on your insurance?

RavenLG · 02/11/2018 17:26

Please keep doing the right thing. We definitely need more honest bods in the world. When I was 19 I’d split up with my long term boyfriend of 5 years, it was December so I’d been Christmas shopping. Came home on the bus, loads of shopping bags. I got to my front door and realised my handbag was missing. £200 in, keys, phone, ID, I was gutted. I thought Christmas was ruined I wouldn’t be able to go out (baby faced) money gone etc. Some lovely person seen it on the bus and handed it in, everything still in there. I’ll never forget that and will always hand stuff in now, even if it’s a small thing.

RedneckStumpy · 02/11/2018 17:27

Op I had the same experience as you in the UK, nothing ever got returned to me.

In the US I lost my handbag, it was handed in, and the police actually delivered it to me!

I think that’s just the way it is in the UK

Gingefringe · 02/11/2018 17:28

I've handed in a passport that I found in the street to a police station, a gorgeous diamond ring that I found at the gym and my DH found a small bag containing a brand new iPhone, wallet and driving licence - he even drove to the guys address across Bristol to hand him the bag. The guy was so grateful and sent him a lovely thank you card.

However, I've lost a treasured necklace and my daughter lost a phone recently - neither of which have been traced or handed in to the police.

I would still return anything else I found though - It's just the right thing to do.

Vitalogy · 02/11/2018 17:30

I think that’s just the way it is in the UK Oh don't be daft.

user1465335180 · 02/11/2018 17:34

Don't judge yourself by other people's stands OP, a selfish person will take your stuff and be happy and not care about the real owner. It always feels better to do the right thing, the selfish people will never know that warm feeling of a good deed .

AriadnePersephoneCloud · 02/11/2018 17:34

So sorry OP. There are good people who do the right thing though, I've had my purse returned to me three times (am so absent minded 😂)... Never got my camera back though when I left that in a cafe...

MrTrebus · 02/11/2018 17:35

And this why you shouldn't be using cash. Debit cards/Apple pay etc etc. Stop having cash around there is no need any more.

RedneckStumpy · 02/11/2018 17:44

MrTrebus cash has risks, but it’s safe because it’s difficult to trace, easy to hide and readily available.

That’s why I use cash as much as possible

MsLexic · 02/11/2018 17:47

but... but... but. He lost it!
Could have fallen down a drain for all anyone knows. You cannot come over all randomly hypercritical of some imagined meany who is now gloatingly and lovingly fingering your son's cash...He is 15. He should have taken more care.
Also it is magical thinking to suppose that because you hand lost property in everyone else will.
I always do too.BUT I don't suppose I will ever see my little green purse again with £15 quid in again. I was drunk, though.

MoaningSickness · 02/11/2018 17:49

I dropped my handbag while trying to sort my baby in a pushchair the other day, didn't notice and walked off. Some kind woman found it and chased me (running all up a hill!) to return it to me. There are nice people.

Sometimes things fall into unlikely places and aren't found for ages.

There are a few nasty people about, but the more of us there are doing the right thing the nicer the world is.

InfiniteVariety · 02/11/2018 17:49

I don't understand why your son was carrying all his money with him on holiday if he wasn't planning to buy the computer game until he got home? Surely that's an important life lesson right there - not to carry an unnecessary quantity of cash?

MissionItsPossible · 02/11/2018 17:52

I was twelve and found someone’s card left in a cashpoint. Went inside the bank and told a woman behind the counter I found it outside in the machine and she snatched it from my hand without a word and gave me the filthiest look. At the time I felt like she thought I had stole it

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread