To feel this level of rage... (help)

[FookMeFookYou]

This is a difficult share but I’m hoping at least one of you can relate and offer advice. I don’t really know how to word it so I’m just going to stick it down here.

I suffer from (just about) controllable rage. It’s worse at TOTM and I also have higher levels of testosterone due to PCOS so I don’t put any hormones in my body as the levels are already too high.

I wouldn’t say I have anger issues but my tolerance levels are low, however so as not to take this out on my family I bottle it up.. but as you can imagine this causes high stress levels.

There are a few things exacerbating the feelings of anger such as my SAHM situation (its NOT through choice), my worries over my SEN son and isolation since relocating - I don’t see or interact with anyone. I’m angry at all of these things as they stop me from having any quality of life and I hate feeling this way.

The rage is just bubbling under the surface and I’m worried that I’m just going to explode. This isn’t normal ‘getting angry’ shakes fist, this is - if a six foot 280lb man tried to overpower me at the height of this rage, he wouldn’t stand a chance. I’m talking FERAL.

I hate feeling like this. I’ve recently rinsed my quota of counselling services (since having my second child in January) and can't afford private - besides there is no one thing I can put my finger on. This isn't PND. I haven’t tried anything herbal but open to if someone knows of anything that impacts positively on hormones?

So as not to drip feed I am on my own with the kids 7am-7pm and on one income we are living month to month, so I cannot attend classes, the gym etc.

My situation is limiting due to current circs but I'm hoping someone can offer a lightbulb. Sorry it’s long 😬 thanks

That sounds so difficult to cope with. Does it fit with this description of PMDD premenstrual dysphoric disorder? www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd/#.W9yOV5P7TIU

If your hormone levels are all over the place could you get medical treatment for that?

Supplements-wise things like evening primrose oil, vitamin B6 in larger doses and magnesium, can really help with PMS symptoms. I've read the Black Cohosh can reduce the effect of androgens BUT i have no idea what evidence there is for that and haven't taken it myself.

Eating a balanced diet with fish or nuts, lots of leafy greens and cutting back on sugar and eliminating alcohol can help a bit with PMS but I'm not sure about PMDD.

You're also dealing with a really difficult situation at home though so some of it must be stress-related.

If things carry on like this then do see your GP because there are other psychological services they can refer you to.

Sorry, not Rtfs. Have you tried antidepressants? If I run out of mine I soon become furious to the point of wanting to murder DH!

Not read the full thread!

I don’t have any advice but I have been in your situation. Anger for me is a depression thing. I’m working now and kids older. DH also has ADHD but he was diagnosed two years ago, kids in school by then. I tried and hated anti ds. One caused suicide ideation. Counselling helps but limited. No answers but I understand!

I use YouTube and there's great boxing and kickboxing workouts on there (tiffany rothwell) they're a great stress reliever for me and also boost your mood so might be worth a try as you can do it at home with the kids around

Thanks new posters. Now the other health issues are coming to an end I'll be looking into all sorts. Just opening up here has calmed me somewhat... I don't feel so jittery and on edge. I've had acupuncture today also so that's probably helped release some of the tension.

EFT isn't something I think I could get on with but I like the idea of rewiring. I saw a leaflet for a CBT course whilst at the physio today so I can access that I think.

I'll check out the YouTube exercise vids

Another reason I've been reluctant to try anti-d's is not knowing my family's mental health history. I do worry that I might be one of those made worse so I'd rather keep them in the last chance saloon atm