Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to think it’s impossible to be single working parent and be paying mortgage?

93 replies

spookybird · 31/10/2018 19:50

It just doesn’t seem possible to afford!
How do people manage to be a single working parent, paying for childcare, and own their own home (ie be paying a mortgage!)
Background : my good friend is about to be in this situation and needs as many tips on how to do it as possible!!

OP posts:

Original poster

spookybird · 31/10/2018 19:51

I’ve posted this as a question in “parenting” and gotten very few responses so hoping to get some more traffic and advice here - thanks in advance!

OP posts:

DrunkenUnicorn · 31/10/2018 19:53

I guess living in a cheaper area? Or being super well paid? Or having a hefty chunk of equity?

We couldn’t run our household as single parents. I couldn’t afford it, and DH couldn’t do his job without someone else doing all of the household/kids stuff in the week and couldn’t afford a live in nanny to pick up the slack...

So if we broke up we’d have to sell up and move I think...

lastqueenofscotland · 31/10/2018 19:55

My mother managed but she was an incredibly high flyer before having children (on 6figures in the early 90s) I am in my late 20s, live alone with a mortgage and couldn’t afford a child.

Hidillyho · 31/10/2018 19:55

It will depend on a lot of factors like income, mortgage costs, other outgoings, any benefits and payment from other parent etc.
It is possible. My mum did it on a very low wage. She had to save for everything and is very good with her money.
She had a small payout from my dad in the divorce to use as a deposit and was lucky that her parents could bail her out if needed (which she didn’t use) but it seems like less of a risk when you have a bit of backup

SparklyLeprechaun · 31/10/2018 19:55

Surely you've got to live somewhere and more often than not a mortgage is cheaper than rent for the same sort of place? I'd think getting the deposit together is harder in a single income household.

Notcontent · 31/10/2018 19:55

I do - but I went to university and have a reasonably well paying job.

tempname111 · 31/10/2018 19:57

Possibly an inheritance, thereby an above average deposit=lower mortgage payments? Some people don't disclose an inheritance/windfall

cardibach · 31/10/2018 20:00

I managed as a teacher. DD is 22 so not aeons ago. I lived in an area with moderate house prices and didn’t really have many luxuries. Could still see for a holiday, but I had very few new clothes etc. It was fine.

Cherries101 · 31/10/2018 20:00

High salary
Nannies / childminders rather than private nursery, as much cheaper and flexible
Live in a cheaper area / have a smaller house.
Save and invest where possible.

missymayhemsmum · 31/10/2018 20:01

Very difficult. It used to be possible with generous tax credits and lower house prices but single parents are the group who have been hit hardest by 'austerity'. Your friend needs to ensure she gets max equity from the split and proper maintenance if that's possible. It may be possible for her to get a mortgage on the basis that it is interest only for a few years while she is paying childcare and/ or over a longer term.

Everyone's budget is different though

cardibach · 31/10/2018 20:01

Should add, exDH a.ways paid maintenance on time, but I never asked him to increase year on year once he started having new children with his second wife.

Mari50 · 31/10/2018 20:01

I do. I live in Scotland though and have a teeny mortgage (which is because of low house prices not inheritance or overpaying etc)
I have a friend who lives in Brighton and constantly asks me to move down- completely unfeasible. I could barely afford a one bed flat. My mum also helps out with childcare or I’d have no savings.

ChiaraRimini · 31/10/2018 20:02

OP if you want to help your friend suggest she uses the turn2us website to check if she can claim benefits, and perhaps post any specific questions here perhaps on the lone parents board or credit crunch. Your question is too general for anyone to provide any useful advice.

RoseNarene · 31/10/2018 20:06

I've just bought a house worth £200k with a deposit of £30k, which I got from my ex buying my share of the equity in the house we bought together. Managing to pay the mortgage on a salary of £30k.

Racecardriver · 31/10/2018 20:08

But in most areas that cost of your average mortgage will be very similar to rent.

Original poster

spookybird · 31/10/2018 20:12

Cheers everyone, she’s not on mumsnet... yet but I’m encouraging her to join. What specifics would help?

OP posts:

Alfie190 · 31/10/2018 20:13

My sister managed it from age of about 24 on her nurses salary. She lived in a small two bedroom house in an affordable area.

Babykoala1 · 31/10/2018 20:18

I agree. I'm a SAHM with two babies. My partner is on a good wage (nothing amazing but definitely higher than average) I have often wondered though how people cope, if I was single, with childcare and maintenance I'd definitely have to hope my partner would be more generous than the required minimum maintenance as I'd be unable to survive or even get a job unless very highly paid. It's shit how it always falls on the female tbh.

ghostyslovesheets · 31/10/2018 20:19

I do - things that help:

a big slice of equity from the sale of the marital home

an ex who pays a good amount of maintenance on time every month

a reasonable paying job (post grad level qualification) I have held for a long time

Tax credits

ghostyslovesheets · 31/10/2018 20:19

oh and a very good mortgage broker!

fiorentina · 31/10/2018 20:19

I have several friends who do. Usually they had a reasonable size home with their ex that was sold and equity split was
used as a deposit. They have professional level jobs and juggle childcare with nannies or childminders. Their lifestyle does change but they’ve adapted and are happy. Working at a split of childcare and maintenance payments is vital, to make life easier.

MrTrebus · 31/10/2018 20:21

Tax credits and maintenance usually replace the other persons income alongside the mothers wage. I'm a mortgage broker and this is what I usually see. Assuming the ex is good an pays maintenance.

arwenearlythereyet · 31/10/2018 20:22

There is no way either DH or I could have done this.

ILovePierceBrosnan · 31/10/2018 20:27

I think the same challenge applies to anyone regardless of single mum status tbh. It depends on your equity/deposit, cost of the house and your wage. All variable so the having children bit is only a small factor. Many single parents are high earners and earn more than couples.

BitchQueen90 · 31/10/2018 20:28

I'm a single working parent currently saving for a house deposit. I am a low earner and get tax credits.

I can do it because I live in a cheap area - I will buy a 2 bed terrace or similar, they cost about £100k where I live.

I don't own a car and my bills are low so my outgoings aren't much.

I also receive a decent amount in maintenance from exh which helps.

I don't have any childcare costs either which is another factor.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread