to think it’s impossible to be single working parent and be paying mortgage?

[spookybird]

It just doesn’t seem possible to afford!
How do people manage to be a single working parent, paying for childcare, and own their own home (ie be paying a mortgage!)
Background : my good friend is about to be in this situation and needs as many tips on how to do it as possible!!

Working tax credit is a great help! I had this when I was single, working full time, paying a mortgage and paying for childcare but I also have awesome parents who helped me a lot but I realise I'm lucky there.

Get your friend to go online and do the working tax credit calculator thing. It will help.

Inheritance to reduce mortgage - shop around for low fixed price deals
Renting out spare room
Realistic budget - monitoring outgoings; get rid of any expensive luxuries like TV packages, monitor fuel use and move utility providers regularly
shop in discount stores abandon the 'big shop' and shop according to deals
Use vouchers to plan for school holidays - clubcard points; kids cinema; free days out
sell what you don't need
tell your family to look at your wishlist if they want to buy you stuff or make it clear you value vouchers
Buy clothing that lasts and is multi functional
Reduce childcare costs wherever you can by either moving closer to home for work or asking about compacted hours
Use childcare vouchers to reduce your tax and save money
Involve children in decision making but in a fun way that they feel part of choices
Meal planning to reduce waste

Working tax credit is a great help! I had this when I was single, working full time, paying a mortgage and paying for childcare but I also have awesome parents who helped me a lot but I realise I'm lucky there.

Get your friend to go online and do the working tax credit calculator thing. It will help.

The majority of councils are now on UC and more and more will become so with full roll out for year after next. Yesterday's budget made it very clear that UC is here to stay. It's a very bad idea to pin anything on benefits now due to this change.

I did for quite a number of years. I have a reasonably well paid job, I did work 3 days a week for a time, whilst I did this the big thing for me was being able to claim up to 70% of my childcarrback via child tax credits, this was a godsend. I now work full time and I’m not entitled to claim anything. All my salary goes toward bills and living, but we do have luxuries and trips out and the occasional holiday, I don’t have anything left over each month and do have to budget carefully. I have 2dc

Interest only mortgage. The interest on my mortgage is about £200/month.

At present, that plus tax credits works fine. Problem being I will really be in the shit when UC hits. You don’t get UC is you have saving of more than 6k- the only affordable repayment vehicle for my mortage i could find was to set up an Isa- i pay as much as I can when I can. I have about 20k now, which means i will lose £400/month tax credits.

So i will have to live on my ISA, or use it to pay some of my mortgage off- I really needed to keep it another 10-15 years to pay the whole lot off.

dontalltalkatonce. Absobloodylutely! Good response to such a passive helpless attitude which lands many in trouble. Might not be what women want to hear but essential information and probably the key response to the OP.

This happened to me 15 years ago. Property cost 300 k and had a deposit of 100 k. Mortgage was £800 a month.

Ex husband originally said he would pay x amount of maintenance then reduced it by 2/3. It was unsustainable. DD was under one and childcare v expensive.

In the end my good friends and god parent to dd stepped in and paid half the mortgage on the understanding when I sold they would get tax free return in their investment.

They did get a good return as property was zone 2 London and v desirable area.

I have not been a single working parent, so hesitated to post, but I think this is relevant.

The best financial decision I ever made was to move to a place with affordable housing. I had a good education and a solid career, but housing costs in some cities will destroy you.

In my local town there are quite a few nice little house on the market for under £100k, maybe not the nicest part of town, but nowhere here is that bad. Not affordable on a minimum wage salary, but not impossible for some I would think, especially when children are at school and with some equity if available.

It depends what you are prepared to sacrifice
I have been on my own since DC were 4 and 5, took out mortgage on current home on my own 6 years later when my divorce was sorted and was able to work full time
At times the amount I paid was a huge proportion of my take home pay, even now it’s close to 50% but I have found other ways to supplement my income and with some things are very frugal
At least I will be debt and mortgage free by retirement although sadly it’s not allowed me to save much for a pension

Thanks everyone... I’ve passed the comments on and it’s given us lots more to explore and think about, much appreciated

Could she sell up and move somewhere cheaper? Obviously that’s only an option if she’s in an expensive area. Also, you have to really look around for affordable childcare. I live in a relatively expensive area and most childminders were £9-£10 an hour but I spent a lot of time and found one who is £5.50 per hour and she’s fantastic.

Oh and she needs to contact the CMS and try to get maintenance. The father cannot scarper away and leave her in the shit without repercussions.

I'm doing it right now. We live simply and without luxuries like holidays but it's doable albeit with compromise

I currently own my house worth £250k and have a DD 15 months. Have had to apply to move to a shared ownership house as that is the only way I could afford to stay on the property ladder. Have got a £50k deposit and my family to 2 days childcare. Nursery 3 days for 80% government top up 20% that is all the benefits I'm entitled to apart from standard child benefit.

I earn £28k a year and a lone parent so no maintenance from the father.

It's going to be hard until she starts school then things should be okay again.

My mum did it alone, mortgage, full time job my whole life, and childcare

Tbh I think it's a mix of really looking around for the best options, childcare wasn't as expensive as it is now, find a home childminder rather than a crèche etc

My mum was very lucky in that she had a fantastic supportive mum and dad (financially and emotionally) someone always there to 'give a payday loan' for essentials or emergencies like a fridge breaking or an extra €100 to tie her over for the next week or two..

I guess it's all down to circumstances but it is definitely manageable but from what I hear very difficult, however immense respect go to these women ( and all the rest)

Thus I grew up very very independent as an only child with a very strong work ethic! 😂

(Sorry I should add she went to uni and had what was probably considered a decent job, average wage of €2,500 pm I think at the time. ) so a lot different if someone was working in a minimum wage job I think.

I do it!
I have a good professional job, use childminder/family for childcare and work 4 days a week. I fought for my fairly chunky deposit with my ex but am so glad I did as he was awful with paying maintenance. Then unfortunately died last year.

I would recommend to Budget budget budget! Work out what she needs and go from there. I have different accounts for different spends that works really well and am (mostly!) strict with myself. Budget for some luxuries if she can... good luck!

If her job isn’t well paid, could she target moving into a better paid industry?

It's not impossible but it's very hard. I've accrued a lot of debt over the childcare years as childcare + mortgage + living expenses were greater than my income. I'm no longer paying childcare so will be paying off that debt over a number of years. Your friend may need to accept that temporary debt is her friend.

Despite working ft in a well paid job I am very poor. It is immensely irritating that women are so screwed in society if they haven't latch onto a man as a financial source.

It depends where you live and if you get reliable child support payments. Here for instance houses are from about £100k so assuming a 20% deposit you are looking at repayments around the £500 mark per month, childcare varies a lot by setting but my friend is a childminder and charges £4/hour per child (I think she is underselling herself!). Plenty of people are single parents with mortgages, plus even those on low incomes tend to buy if they can cobble together a deposit because it's cheaper than renting (rental prices have been pushed up by London councils contracting the smaller housing stock).

Surely it depends on her income and deposit? Someone on £50k is going to find it a lot easier than someone on £20k.

Breakfast and after school clubs.

Buying clothes for myself maybe once a year.
Creative cooking with pasta.
Being a teacher so I didn't need childcare in the holidays.
Living in Scotland (cheaper houses).
Fixed rate mortgages so I always knew exactly what my outgoings were going to be.

Had no family help - they live hundreds of miles away
No maintenance (he'd quit his job every time I went to the CSA, or he'd work cash in hand) I stopped bothering after 8 years.
No inheritance etc but I did buy my first flat when they did 100% mortgages and used the small amount of equity when I sold it on a deposit for this house later.
Its definitely not easy but it is very do-able if you're careful with money and have a decent/secure job.

I’ve done it/am doing it.
It depends on so many factors:

• will your friend be getting any kind of substantial share of money from the separation/divorce? My ex and I came to an agreement when we split that he’d keep our property we’d been living in together, and I’d get the proceeds of the sale of another property we owned (we were very very fortunate to have a flat we’d been letting out). I was fortunate to have a large amount of equity into buying my own flat with a very low mortgage (for London)
• It also depends on childcare costs and your friend’s custody agreements with her ex. In my case, we split custody 50/50, and therefore split all childcare equally (DD was in nursery 3 days a week after we split, ex and I each had a day with her at home)
• Depends what job your friend does, and what opportunities your friend has to develop in her role/get promotion/pay rise.

In my case, I went from being on £32k to £70k with the company I was with (it was draining, intense work and I was on my knees most of the time), then left to set up on my own in the same industry, and now on £120k, with a much more flexible way of working.

It’s hard work, scary, but I’ve pushed myself in ways I prob wouldn’t have done if I was still with my ex. Being on your own makes you more resilient and focused, I’m sure of it.

Single mum of 2, one in primary one at uni, work full time, bought ex out of Home and pay mortgage. I give ds1 £ for living expenses and for after school and holiday care for Ds2.

I can do this because I earn a good salary.