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Original poster

Since when did kids get so... grabby?! (A Halloween one)

390 replies

MessyHouse91 · 31/10/2018 17:53

Perfectly happy to be slated here - I don’t spend much time with kids (expecting DC1) so this might just be a kid thing!

This is my first year living in a house on an estate (moved from my city centre flat) so my first year buying sweets for the trick or treaters. I love Halloween so I bought massive bags of sweets.

The first kids I held the bowl out so they could choose their own sweets from the selection, but each of the kids grabbed massive handfuls for 5 or 6 bags of sweets each.

For the next kids, I held the bowl out again and said ‘one each please’. The kids didn’t listen and took big handfuls again, and then Mum looked a little embarassed and told the kids to put them back. I didn’t know if it was the done thing to give them a limit and didn’t fancy standing on the doorstep while the kids rifled through their bags trying to figure out which ones it was, so I told her not so worry about it.

The third lot, I put the sweets into their bags for them. One little boy asked if he could have another for his sister, so I chucked in an extra, and then he got half way down the drive and asked for another for his sister. I said ‘I gave you one for your sister’ and he said ‘that was for my big sister, this one is for my little sister’. I gave him a third, and he shouted to his friends ‘SCORE! GOT ANOTHER ONE’.

I loved trick or treating as a kid (my mum only ever let me go to neighbours we knew) so I don’t want to be miserable about it. I was just so looking forward to decorating and seeing all the kids in their costumes! I know it’s just kids and just sweets but the whole thing seems a bit sad, especially as I’m now out of sweets before it even gets going.

Do I go to the shop and buy more and enjoy the whole thing and chalk it up to experience, or do I stop answering the door and be grumpy for the rest of the night?

OP posts:
Nubbin · 31/10/2018 21:49

We've had a lovely time - more than normal this year all beautifully behaved. Dd doesn't like sweets and was thankfully super exited at the one house to offer her a banana! I am now eating the surplus haribo....

Ploppymoodypants · 31/10/2018 21:50

Ah just been out with a group of 5 year olds. All very polite and have it drummed into them that we only ever knock houses with a pumpkin and they say ‘happy Halloween’ and take ONE thing and MUST say thank you. They all managed this every time despite a sugar high and excitement levels rivalling a World Cup final. So it’s just obvious basic manners. I would be mortified if DD grabbed at handfuls if sweets or sang a rude song or demanded sweets via menances.

I am just about to post on the community FB site a thank you to the many lovely people who have spent time and money decorating and buying sweets for the enjoyment of our children.

bluesky45 · 31/10/2018 21:51

The system around here seems to be to take one. We have had about 15ish trick or treaters this year, the most we have had in 4 years I think. It's good really as I didn't buy too many and was hoping to have some left over for me! The door did go at about 8:15 but we weren't answering the door after we had sat down for the evening at 8. Ds is in bed and we don't need him being woken by the door opening and closing every 5 mins. We blew out the candle in the pumpkin and didn't want anyone else! But the ones who came were lovely and polite, only took one sweet/littlr bag or whatever and said thank you after. Also had a couple of little kids making a fuss of my one year old in his skeleton babygrow.

WithAFaeryHandInHand · 31/10/2018 21:52

I left a bowl outside with a note asking not to ring the bell as the baby was sleeping. We put out a few bits and topped them up a couple of times, but we have so many left! And that was without me standing there lookin stern Grin.

Drummingisfun · 31/10/2018 21:53

We had quite a a lot tonight. Mix of littlies and much older, up to around 13 I'd say.
No one took more than one, didn't need to remind them. If little kids forgot to say thanks parents reminded them. Older kids all said thanks and happy Halloween.
However, older kids were clearly on a mission to amass as much sugar as possible, they literally ran from house to house with huge carrier bags full of sweets! I feel that kind of spoils it for the little ones who are going slowly and appropriately ooohing and ahhing at the inflatable pumpkin and the spooky sound effects.

WithAFaeryHandInHand · 31/10/2018 21:55

Oh and nobody rang the bell either. I saw two teenagers reading the note so carefully before they took their sweets and left.

Thisnamechanger · 31/10/2018 21:55

We always leave a big tub of sweets with a sign saying please don’t knock but help yourself to one

I used to do this until I saw some shitty teens taking the whole bowl Angry

givemesteel · 31/10/2018 21:56

Yes I was pleasantly surprised about how lovely and sweet they all were. All just took one sweet, said thank you and wished me happy Halloween.

I was a little bit apprehensive as my road goes to town on Halloween so I've heard people bring their kids to our road! So was expecting herds of yobby preteens. But it was all actually really nice and respectful.

winobaglady · 31/10/2018 21:57

Looks like I am taking the bag of sweets into the office tomorrow... oh well....

Strawberrylaceaddict · 31/10/2018 22:01

We had over 100, but we bag them up individually because we get so many and people run out after about 10 minutes, even though we get that many every year! We were a group of 9 and we had strict rules about only taking one each if offered the tub. It’s always a bit of a mix, in fact it’s usually the older ones without parents that take the handfuls rather than the younger ones but we don’t have that many older ones come round without younger brothers and sisters.

Also when tubs are left out for people to help themselves, usually the first group that get there will take the whole lot as not all parents are strict with it.

falcon5 · 31/10/2018 22:01

The money thing is new to me ... when did that start?

SummerGems · 31/10/2018 22:03

I don’t decorate or answer the door, however a man came and knocked and knocked and knocked - he had little kids of about four/five with him. He then started shouting to open the f’ing door and when I didn’t he called me a c**t. Shock Shock Angry.

As if that’s going to encourage people to want to give his kids anything....

IAmNotAWitch · 31/10/2018 22:04

All of my scary visitors last night displayed wonderful manners and took just one.

My kids (a group of teens with assorted younger siblings) were sent out with strict instructions to only approach decorated houses and to take just one lolly.

I also had shiny red apples (I dress as the wicked witch) and keep a jug of water/papercups near the door as well (in Oz so warm here). Oddly the apples are very popular, I have none left but still a big pile of chocolates/lollies.

I really enjoy Halloween, I have a glass of wine and sit on my veranda in my witches outfit. We didn't do it when I was a kid (but I was always jealous of the Americans in the movies) so now I get right into it.

HollySwift · 31/10/2018 22:05

DS2 did this a couple of times when we weren’t close enough to remind him, and the giver didn’t specify. He has ASD and was rather heightened by the time we got out as we went to a friend’s for dinner, so things were VERY different. We told him to pop them back and apologised and he thanked everyone profusely whilst gleefully wishing them a happy Halloween.

He’s not grabby at all, he’s excited. He shared his loot with his friends, brother and sister despite them having the same amount as him.

MKUltrachic · 31/10/2018 22:05

I bought lots so I could give away big handfuls and bribe the neighbour kids to like me :)

Likeshyt · 31/10/2018 22:10

Get a bag of apples and give them all one each next year. Watch them cry 😏🧟‍♀️

Coldilox · 31/10/2018 22:14

Took my four year old out earlier, first time trick or treating. Group of about 6 kids. I went up to every door with them to make sure they all said thanks and only took one, not one of them went to take more than one. He’s so pleased with his little collection of sweets!

Have had some older kids (around 10ish) since we got home, the first set were walking past the house and only turned back when they saw me light the pumpkins, all only took one, All said thanks, and the last pair told me to have a lively evening.

NotTerfNorCis · 31/10/2018 22:14

Funny, people around here have been complaining about the same thing in the local Facebook group. Maybe kids are getting more grabby.

Darkestnight · 31/10/2018 22:14

I've had eight knocks on my door even tho no decorations up and my house was in total darkness. Thought there was some rule with only knocking on decorated houses or pumpkins outside...

AjasLipstick · 31/10/2018 22:16

YANBU my DD said she was embarrassed by one of her friend who kept grabbing handfuls and asking "How many are we allowed?" which just seems rude!

One! You're allowed ONE unless the person offers more.

Don't people teach them manners any more then? Nobody here will admit to their children acting like this but I bet some do.

AjasLipstick · 31/10/2018 22:19

My youngest is ten and feels this might be her last year at it. She said she felt it was less fun due to the behaviour of other kids....embarrassing she said.

MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 31/10/2018 22:23

Given out 60 goodie bags, and probably another 20 or so sweets and lollies from the leftovers (aka that which was to be our stash Grin). All very polite and said thanks. Lovely atmosphere in the village tonight.

Flaskfan · 31/10/2018 22:25

My two prefer handing sweets out. We do a quick scoot round the houses, then they do door answering. Ds is 9, but hasn't quite worked out what to say to people, so he just sort of looms over the littles and thrusts the bowl at them.

QueenOfTheSandals · 31/10/2018 22:26

Lots of lovely kids round here. All in costume, all with a joke or poem and lots of thank yous. Most kids just took one sweet, a few had a little grab but really just a few.

Kismett · 31/10/2018 22:27

The kids we had tonight were surprisingly sweet and well-mannered. Except for the one who sneered at the lot and told us he didn't like any of those (and we had a huge selection).

But the rest all said thank you and only took one. We also offered stickers and had to tell them they could have one of each because they seemed scared of appearing greedy!

I know it's not like this everywhere, but there are some parents out there raising polite kids, and we are happy to give them candy.

Just stop them from walking through the flowers, please.