Since when did kids get so... grabby?! (A Halloween one)

[MessyHouse91]

Perfectly happy to be slated here - I don’t spend much time with kids (expecting DC1) so this might just be a kid thing!

This is my first year living in a house on an estate (moved from my city centre flat) so my first year buying sweets for the trick or treaters. I love Halloween so I bought massive bags of sweets.

The first kids I held the bowl out so they could choose their own sweets from the selection, but each of the kids grabbed massive handfuls for 5 or 6 bags of sweets each.

For the next kids, I held the bowl out again and said ‘one each please’. The kids didn’t listen and took big handfuls again, and then Mum looked a little embarassed and told the kids to put them back. I didn’t know if it was the done thing to give them a limit and didn’t fancy standing on the doorstep while the kids rifled through their bags trying to figure out which ones it was, so I told her not so worry about it.

The third lot, I put the sweets into their bags for them. One little boy asked if he could have another for his sister, so I chucked in an extra, and then he got half way down the drive and asked for another for his sister. I said ‘I gave you one for your sister’ and he said ‘that was for my big sister, this one is for my little sister’. I gave him a third, and he shouted to his friends ‘SCORE! GOT ANOTHER ONE’.

I loved trick or treating as a kid (my mum only ever let me go to neighbours we knew) so I don’t want to be miserable about it. I was just so looking forward to decorating and seeing all the kids in their costumes! I know it’s just kids and just sweets but the whole thing seems a bit sad, especially as I’m now out of sweets before it even gets going.

Do I go to the shop and buy more and enjoy the whole thing and chalk it up to experience, or do I stop answering the door and be grumpy for the rest of the night?

Fruit!? How to spoil the fun!! If you’re going to take part do it properly or don’t answer the door.

Oh shut up. Be grateful for whatever you get ffs.
Maybe we should 'do it properly' then? I am sure i can buy a bag of monkey nuts and some satsumas for next year. Might find some old big pennies too. Thats what we were given back in the day😀

If you are being given something for just turning up you dont get to demand what you are given.

If you want something specific go to Morrison's and buy it!

I don't entertain any that look older than primary school age. Had a group of 3 girls at 5.30 pm who were obviously at secondary, told them I didnt do trick or treat above 12 year olds. They were polite enough, with blank "I can't believe this' faces then left.

Why on earth not? They are still childrem for goodness sake. Its not like they were brandishing guns and threatening you! You turned away 3 girls! Even then they were polite.
Thats really sad actually.
Teens round here have fab costumes and make up i love seeing them.
More than 4 friends going round together for company and safety is a 'rabble'? Do you want them to go round the streets alone?
If you have so many 'conditions' on kids having a bit of fun why do you bother

We always got fruit and nuts in the 80s in Dublin. DP is from Belfast, he thinks I'm joking we were lucky if you some sweets other than a chocolate apple.

Those days are well gone.

sweets mixed with monkey nuts that's what we give out and its what I used to get, and the odd orange or apple as well.

kids on the whole have much less manners these days.

I’m not being judgemental this forum is meant to for parents. So thinks it’s quite sad if parents begrudge fun for their kids.

I'm afraid the days of celebrating Hallowe'en in a moderate fashion are gone.
We silly copycats in the UK have bred the greedy spoiled OTT brats you used to only see in the States.
This was entirely the mother's fault of course. Grabbing a handful is ill mannered low class and plain greedy .
It's not you.
It's them.

I turned off the lights this year and didn’t open my door
Last year I bought sweets to hand out.
Several little gits had the cheek to ask for money

No I won’t shut up willow. How rude! Times change. Our childhoods were very different to now. Giving fruit is just not the norm. We all know that. So why do it?

Well its pretty normal round here. My kids like fruit and its a nice change from the endless sweets. They also get home made buns apples and money.
Its someone giving them something for free. It would be incredibly ungrateful to ask for something else. Round here that is 'normal' so whats it got to do with you?

In USA t or t's often get fruit so dont know why you are insisting there is only one option to give to kids to do it 'the normal way'.

If your kids are that ungrateful they can refuse to take it. Simple really and more for others.

Grabbing a handful is ill mannered low class and plain greedy

I am wondering if you're joking. So UC and MC DC are never grabby. Greed comes in all forms it has nothing to do with class.
I always think those who bring class into a general discussion haven't really got any class themselves.

I filled a clean ice bucket with fun size sweets left them on the doorstep with a sign "help yourself but be mindful others might want some".Within half an hour bang on the door some kids asking for sweets looked down empty bucket".Lesson learnt wont bother next year.

Left on doorstep so dog would not bark every time the door went.

Halloween is not begging. It’s a bit of fun and fosters a nice community spirit with it. Lots of households are happy to join in and see if for what it is. Fun. For kids. It’s a normal part of our culture now. Theres so much doom and gloom in the world and this country why can’t it be seen as a positive, happy occasion? Children getting over-excited and grabbing at sweets is hardly news worthy stuff. If you don’t agree with it then just don’t join in. We only knock on the doors of houses that look like they are joining in.

This was entirely the mother's fault of course.

Only the mothers fault?
Ok fathers have nothing to do with child rearing then?

Btw apart from one very excited kid none of the kids who came to.my door were greedy or grabby. I had to tell them to take more than one sweet every single time.
Stop making such sweeping statements. Not all kids either in UK or USA are greedy.

No, pickleup, of course you’re not - this is AIBU so it’s full of fun-dementors.

I only ever offer things that are individually pre-packed and say something like "Please pick one bag for yourself and then it's your friends turn", and I'll get down to their level so that they don't have to reach/grab towards the bowl. Most children respond really well to simple first and then instructions as used by schools and preschools. Yet it is surprising how many parents don't know the technique. It appeals to their brain development and it's a really easy sequence. I'll also slow things down a bit by talking in turn to each child before the sweets come out.

Willow my kids are not ungrateful at all. We didn’t get any fruit. If they did they would say thanks but it’s not the norm. I think you sound a very rude person yourself quite frankly so I don’t know how you can talk about manners.

Wow. If you can't play nicely, don't decorate your house or answer the door.

We had loads of polite kids, some took more than one bag of haribo, but most didn't. Its hardly a surprise if little kids struggle with 'just take one' when there's a choice of sweets they like. One little boy looks at our bowl of sweets, scowled, and said 'no thank you' and turned and left !

Its a bit of fun, lots of parents dressed up too, we dressed up to answer the door. Decorated the house and had a laugh. Nobody gives out anything other than pre-wrapped sweets. I grew up in North America and nothing homemade would be given out, or fruit.

Not rude just sick to death of people slagging off Halloween every single year as they dont understsnd its origins, say we are encouraging greedy kids to go begging and along with others am fed up defending it.

Then someone comes along telling those of us who take part and love it that only they know the 'right' way to do it' and those of us who have been doing it as a child and now as parents for donkeys years are wrong. Playing right into the view that kids and parents are demanding and greedy and only sweets are acceptable.

When someone provides free treats you dont get to dictate to them what they should give you.

I'm terrible, i expect the kids to take big handfuls and harass them to take more if they only take a little! I do however, expect a joke or something first! I accept spontaneous dance and made up on the spot jokes that make no sense too! My son is great at those. Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because it did!

I’m saying generally in our culture for Halloween sweets are now the norm. I’m not dictating anything, society is. Yes I completely agree that we should all be grateful for gifts but it’s trick or treat not trick or one of your five a day. Fruit is not generally seen as a treat by the majority of kids. Kids won’t feel excited getting an orange. It’s about the kids having fun. If people want to give out fruit that’s their choice of course. It’s just not in the spirit of things today. We got fruit for Halloween when I was little but that doesn’t mean it’s expected nowadays and I would not stock up on my apples for Halloween. Sure the kids in your area have a blast willow counting all their fruit. 😂

My dad loved Father Christmas bringing him a clementine and some woolen socks, today’s children with cheap fruit and cheap clothes might be less than pleased.😂

Ha ha. Exactly.

Sb74, if you really want to be so specific, why not post your amazon wish list the week before to ensure you really get what you want from complete strangers who are under no obligation to you?

Sure the kids in your area have a blast willow counting all their fruit. 😂
Sure the kids rude enough to tell someone their free offering isn’t good enough will have fun being entitled adults who expect the world, aren’t grateful for anything and don’t understand that a gift is accepted graciously.

My kids love fruit and they get loads of sweets too so they dont 'lose out' on sweets. I didnt say everyone gave just fruit so no need for sarcasm. But yes they enjoy eating fruit.
It may be your 'culture' but its not mine. And you are promoting the fact that it has to be sweets by decrying anyone who does it differently. Nobody has to give out only sweets.
This is what ps people off. The expectation that people have to do it your way or not at all.

Luv my kids still get an orange in thier stockings😀

@Earthakitty

We silly copycats in the UK have bred the greedy spoiled OTT brats you used to only see in the States.

Get to fuck. I've done trick or treating lots in both UK and USA and can say as a whole the US kids are actually much more polite and less grabby.

How long have you lived in America to make this statement?

There’s that word again; entitled. Glad it came up as it wasn’t the same without it. I am not expecting anything from anyone but children love to receive treats. I can’t even be bothered to argue the obvious. Children’s face don’t light up at fruit.