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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Since when did kids get so... grabby?! (A Halloween one)

390 replies

MessyHouse91 · 31/10/2018 17:53

Perfectly happy to be slated here - I don’t spend much time with kids (expecting DC1) so this might just be a kid thing!

This is my first year living in a house on an estate (moved from my city centre flat) so my first year buying sweets for the trick or treaters. I love Halloween so I bought massive bags of sweets.

The first kids I held the bowl out so they could choose their own sweets from the selection, but each of the kids grabbed massive handfuls for 5 or 6 bags of sweets each.

For the next kids, I held the bowl out again and said ‘one each please’. The kids didn’t listen and took big handfuls again, and then Mum looked a little embarassed and told the kids to put them back. I didn’t know if it was the done thing to give them a limit and didn’t fancy standing on the doorstep while the kids rifled through their bags trying to figure out which ones it was, so I told her not so worry about it.

The third lot, I put the sweets into their bags for them. One little boy asked if he could have another for his sister, so I chucked in an extra, and then he got half way down the drive and asked for another for his sister. I said ‘I gave you one for your sister’ and he said ‘that was for my big sister, this one is for my little sister’. I gave him a third, and he shouted to his friends ‘SCORE! GOT ANOTHER ONE’.

I loved trick or treating as a kid (my mum only ever let me go to neighbours we knew) so I don’t want to be miserable about it. I was just so looking forward to decorating and seeing all the kids in their costumes! I know it’s just kids and just sweets but the whole thing seems a bit sad, especially as I’m now out of sweets before it even gets going.

Do I go to the shop and buy more and enjoy the whole thing and chalk it up to experience, or do I stop answering the door and be grumpy for the rest of the night?

OP posts:

Hermagsjesty · 31/10/2018 19:09

I think you’ve been unlucky. We’ve had lovely manners, we’ve been urging them to take more!

Shouldhavebeenkat · 31/10/2018 19:10

Our next door neighbours were here first, 6 of them ranging from 10 to 3, they literally emptied the huge bowl with massive handfuls each told them to leave some for other children, yeah that fell on completely deaf ears the next were 3 young girls, took one each from my replenished bowl... I told them they could have a coup!e more simply because I hated that greed was winning over politeness. It shocks me how dragged up some kids are!

Mind you why am I surprised after a summer spent screaming 8am till 10pm and many many balls over the wall and we have a path between us!

BusySittingDown · 31/10/2018 19:11

See, we have had nothing but really well mannered children round here. They’ve all just taken one mini bag of haribo each and all said please and thank you.

I love Halloween and I’m very happy to be Trick or treated, however there have been a few children who have wanted to start a conversation with me at the door - just take the sweets and eff off! It’s bloody freezing and the dog is going mental trying to get to you. She thinks that the funny children at the door have come to see her. I’m happy to give you sweets but I don’t want to talk to you. [Miserable bugger]

Ffsnosexallowed · 31/10/2018 19:11

We've had a mix of the ones who take just one and need to be told to take 2, and the ones who grab a handful and then come back for more.

blackeyes72 · 31/10/2018 19:12

Wow all your trick or treaters only took ONE sweet or chocolate each, I had to beg them to take more and it's the same every year!!!

dancinfeet · 31/10/2018 19:13

Neighbours 11 year old son managed to scoop nearly the entire top third of my bowl and chuck it in his bag whilst his brother and mate politely took a couple of sweets each.
Rest of sweets were promptly divided up into little bags to hand out to other groups and to prevent grabbing!

Celebelly · 31/10/2018 19:13

Most here have been very polite, to the extent of me having to encourage them to take more as some have only taken one little Quality Street!

OnlyMakeBelieve · 31/10/2018 19:15

The sweet companies must be rubbing their hands in glee that the UK has bought into such rampant consumerism.

Oblomov18 · 31/10/2018 19:15

Tonight I've been very busy. But Really polite and each child has only taken one.

One year I had to pop out for a few minutes, left my humongous bowl and came back to it empty. Wasn't very impressed at the greed.

ThisIsTheNational · 31/10/2018 19:16

We’re out now so have left the bowl on the doorstep with a please take one sign. I think we had about thirty before we left, and every single one said thank you. Even the one who got cross when I laughed at his scarey voice.

OftenHangry · 31/10/2018 19:18

I can happily report really polite kids taking 1 sweet each and most even refusing to take extra when I offered more. Really enjoyable evening with some of the cutest monsters I've ever seen and I don't even really like kids. 😂

Havaina · 31/10/2018 19:19

Last year I lived in a flat above an incredibly strict Christian who flicked holy water at trick or treaters and told them Christ would redeem them confused. Word soon got out and no one cand to our building

I love her. Must try this just once.

ResistanceIsNecessary · 31/10/2018 19:20

We've had none here, but we are very tucked away and not decorated. I got a bag of funsize sweets in just in case we get any determined souls

I'm not long back from a mate's house - she's literally in the process of moving in this evening and is not at all set up for trick or treat. A collection of wee ghouls and witches knocked, so I stuck my head out and apologised and explained they were just moving in. All kids were very polite and said no problem, we'll see you next year!

I think sometimes it's just luck of the draw. Don't let it put you off. I don't have DC so I really enjoy seeing the kids all dressed up for Hallow'een - especially the littlies.

Alex3101 · 31/10/2018 19:21

We've had lots of really polite children who have taken one each.
DW is out for the evening, I put a sign up to say I was putting our gremlins to bed and to please take one treat each.
I've just come downstairs and checked, they are all gone. Someone has taken them all, I could hear 2 lots of children come to the door whilst I was story telling. They have spoilt it for all the others. Oh well to trusting I suppose.

Snappymcsnappy · 31/10/2018 19:21

Do as i do and have a no trick or treaters please note!

I don’t like Halloween.

I must admit though, if I was presented with a bowl of sweets unless told otherwise I would get a handful, think most kids would really.

And as for the ones who have already been told, ‘‘tis a bit rude, but then so is demanding stuff off strangers in the first place.
They are only small and probably hyper and excited and sugar rushed, I wouldn’t be too bothered.

DiamondsOnTheDogsCollar · 31/10/2018 19:22

When did it become the norm to hand out sweets? I rememebrr guising in Scotland as a kid and it was always an apple or orange plus a handful of monkey nuts. It was very unusual to get sweets, even rarer to get money, and you had to do a ‘turn’ before you got anything.

TinySalmon · 31/10/2018 19:23

I think it depends on your area.

We have never had an issue of grabby children, all take 1 sweet/chocolate and are incredibly polite and say thank you.

MamaJune · 31/10/2018 19:24

Last year we ran out of sweets and one boys about 11/12 said 'that's ok moneys fine too' off you fuck you little shit

OhFlipMama · 31/10/2018 19:24

That's awful. Mine take one each then when they compare with friends have so little that I feel bad for them!

phantomofthenorthlaine · 31/10/2018 19:25

I've just been out with a whole load of kids and they were told one each by us, and they took one each at all the houses. We only knock at doors with decorations outside too. Although one of the dads told them to knock at a door with some very ornate skulls in the window - turned out they were 'art' not Halloween decs! Haha!

SwimmingKaren · 31/10/2018 19:26

I’ve only had lovely, well mannered visitors tonight. Now running out of sweets but blaming DH’a sweet tooth for that!

MsJudgemental · 31/10/2018 19:26

This year they’ve been extremely polite, only taking one thing. A couple of kids even chose a satsuma or pack of lego cards rather than chocolate!

The rule round here is only to call at houses with pumpkin lanterns outside. We put the pumpkin out when we’re ready and take it in when we’ve had enough.

PrincessJuanita · 31/10/2018 19:27

Round here they're all brilliantly behaved.... always polite, not grabby and only knock if your house is decorated. It isn't a particularly posh area either.

tigercub50 · 31/10/2018 19:28

Had nobody at all! When I lived on an estate, I used to put a couple in each bag but they were biggish sweets like funsize or lollies etc. Very rarely got anyone asking for more.

HariboLecter · 31/10/2018 19:28

All here have been really polite, have had to tell them to take more.

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