To not do Halloween this year? Will they think I'm a snob?

[yesmelord]

We live in a newish area, 25 houses and every single house has kids primary school age apart from ours. I have a 1 year old DD and I am 16 weeks pregnant with DC2.

My husband is away all day 10am-10pm at work and I'm getting over a stinking cold and DD is just starting to come down with it.

I feel like a Halloween grinch. We did Halloween last year and had to pop to the shops half way through the night to buy more sweets as so many children (and big groups of teens ) kept knocking even at 11pm.

I just can't be bothered this year. I feel crap. Not having an easy pregnancy, still sick and very dizzy as well as generally more tired than ever running after my DD.

The thing is all the mums on my road seem to be very close. Their kids all play and they all stand and chat. I try to smile and say hi but I get the feeling they see me as stand offish because I'm not out there and chatty too.

Will they think I'm snobby for having a 'no trick or treaters' sign?

Round here, if your house isn't decorated people don't knock. Would that work round by you?

I don't think snobby is the right word, there is nothing snobby about it. Isn't it customary to only knock on doors with a pumpkin or whatever outside? So no need to put up a sign.

I guess it depends if you want to fit in with your neighbours or not really, as it sounds like the whole place gets involved.

Wouldn’t take much effort to give out sweets tonight, young dc will probably come round with adults before I’d say 8:30pm so I’d get stop answering the door about then as it will be bigger dc.

My village does decorating, pumpkins and has sweets for all Halloween, I get involved I wanted the village life or I’d live in a city

A Grinch in the making!!

Can't you just leave the bowl of treats outside? When they're gone they're gone.
Just turn the lights off at the front of the house.

You’re not obliged to do Halloween. If people think you’re snobby for not doing it are they really the kind of people you want to hang around with? You’re a grown up, don’t join in if you don’t want to. My kids don’t go trick or treating despite it being very popular in our area - last year I was really worried about what other parents would think and this year I couldn’t give a monkeys as I’ve realised that the only people who would criticise me for it are just not my kind of people.

I'm not doing Halloween this year. We live on a fairly big estate with a mix of families with young/older kids.

My DS is 15 and not interested. We live in a 3 storey house and we're up and down the stairs for about 5 hours.

I've done it for years, pumpkins, lights etc but just can't be bothered with the hassle anymore. Must be getting old.

I don't blame you not bothering

Oh ffs you are not feeling well and don’t want or need to spend your limited energy on this.

Don’t put anything out turn off the front lights and no one will knock

Next year or the year after your child will be big enough to get involved and will probably want to do decorations etc

None of these celebrations are compulsory and if you don’t feel well or don’t want to then don’t

There is no obligation whatsoever to buy sweets for kids you don’t know. Trick or treaters shouldn’t knock on houses that aren’t decorated anyway. YANBU.

Can't you just leave the bowl of treats outside? When they're gone they're gone.
Just turn the lights off at the front of the house.

I do this because im a miserable git and don't want to be up and down to ths door all evening. If any neighbours say anything say you went to bed with the baby because you didn't feel great.

No, we didn't have a pumpkin last year and they still came.

I just don't feel up to the masses of kids every 2 minutes this year. I just want an early night and some peace and quiet

It's not snobbish, loads of people dont do Halloween.

However I would do it, and would take your toddler outside to chat sometimes if you want to be part of the community. Your DC will grow up quickly and will like to toddler about outside next summer while you chat. Some of the mum's might have younger kids (already or soon) who are potentially playmates for yours. The 11 year olds are potentially babysitters for your DC in 5 years time!

If you plan to stay living where you live I'd make he effort as a long term investment!

Why don't you answer the door for an hour whilst it's convenient and just mention to whichever mum comes round first that you are not feeling well so planning an early night. Then pop a bowl of sweets out with a sign saying 'help yourself' so when it's empty they know sweets have gone and won't knock.

If they are that close and make any comments I'm sure those that did catch you at the door can correct them by saying you weren't well to stay up.

Just put a sign on the door for this year. Join in if you want when your Childs a bit older.

You could just put a large bowl out with candy in it on a table with a little sign. I don't recommend overly delicious candy as it may all vanish into a teen's bag.

Shut the curtains/blinds, don't answer the door and relax

Snobbish? You mean miserable surely?

Which you are definitely not being imo. It's not compulsory, draw the curtains and ignore the door.

If your front lights aren’t on and you haven’t got a pumpkin/decorations, people may not knock anyway. I think most people would understand that if you have very young D.C. you’re not going to be up for the doorbell going every 5 minutes, so don’t worry about it!

If you’re worried about being seen as grinchy, put out a bowl of sweets and a note saying ‘young baby sleeping but help yourself’

buttery 's idea is a good compromise. I've always found it pays dividends to invest a little bit of effort into building relationships with neighbors, especially ones with kids when you have kids too. It doesn't take much and they can really enhance your DC's childhood and potentially help you out later.

I’m leaving a bowl of sweets and a note outside. I’ll turn off the doorbell at the mains if needs be . Luckily, our living room is at the back, so they’ll not know if we’re in or not.

What is snobbish about not participating?

Halloween is very big where I live and people don't seem to adhere to the, in my opinion, very sensible idea of not knocking on the doors of houses that aren't decorated.

I live on my own and have in the past completely forgotten about it so haven't had anything to offer children anyway.

I suspect people probably thought I was a horrible miserable old woman when they rang my bell and I had to tell them I had no sweets and tbh I felt awful about it.

I'm not going to dress my house up for other people's benefit. I don't want to buy a load of sweets and potentially be left with them on the off chance that someone's child who I don't even know is going to knock on my door.

Last year I didn't answer my door, I'll probably do the same this year.

I'm not really a horrible miserable old woman but I agree with cadburyegg, there is no obligation. So if you're not feeling up to it OP, don't be pushed into taking part in it.

Put a sign on the door saying something like "Baby asleep. Please don't knock. Happy Halloween!"

I wouldn't put a sign up, I'd either leave your lights off, or do as others have suggested, a bowl of sweets outside and a wee note saying help themselves to sweets as you're not feeling well.

When I say no sign, I mean no "I'm not doing Halloween" sign, perfectly reasonable to put up signs saying other politer things