To not do Halloween this year? Will they think I'm a snob?

[yesmelord]

We live in a newish area, 25 houses and every single house has kids primary school age apart from ours. I have a 1 year old DD and I am 16 weeks pregnant with DC2.

My husband is away all day 10am-10pm at work and I'm getting over a stinking cold and DD is just starting to come down with it.

I feel like a Halloween grinch. We did Halloween last year and had to pop to the shops half way through the night to buy more sweets as so many children (and big groups of teens ) kept knocking even at 11pm.

I just can't be bothered this year. I feel crap. Not having an easy pregnancy, still sick and very dizzy as well as generally more tired than ever running after my DD.

The thing is all the mums on my road seem to be very close. Their kids all play and they all stand and chat. I try to smile and say hi but I get the feeling they see me as stand offish because I'm not out there and chatty too.

Will they think I'm snobby for having a 'no trick or treaters' sign?

Going off a couple of other ‘should we trick or treat if unwell?’ threads I’ve just seen, surely this is a similar situation. Op is unwell (and sounds contagious) should she be sharing her germs with all the local children?

Whinge whinge
Whine whine
Can you hear your doorbell chime
Lock the doors, go out instead
Or send yourself off up to bed
Put up a sign, don’t budge an inch and call yourself the Halloween grinch

OP I hope that neighbours will take into account that you have a very young child and knocking on the door will disturb bathtime, bedtime etc so really they should leave you alone and not think bad of you for not participating.

Our first year of living here every house but one on our close was decorated and the kids all went around the close together, it was lovely, but 7 years on they’re all grown up now and only one house is decorated.

Meant to also say that I hope you feel much better soon.

I very much doubt anyone will hold it against you - we lived in our house for 4 years before our DS was born and never did Halloween as we were usually out. We joined in once he was 3 or 4, and used to get loads coming round. Now he's a teenager we don't decorate any more and get maybe 2 or 3 knocks.

Anyway, word is that there's groups going round with chicken pox and sickness bugs so I think you're wise to not bother tonight!

You’re not feeling well, your toddler isn’t well either it’s ok to give it a miss this year, honestly. Just don’t put up any decorations, dim the lights or turn them off downstairs all together and have the early night that you desperately need. Next year if you want to join in no one will be ill and you can.

Nearly everyone where I live joins in but I don’t judge those who don’t and I haven’t heard anyone else say anything about them either. We just don’t bother to knock. Hope you feel better soon.

I'm going to turn the bell off and close the shutters.

Screw Halloween

There is nothing snobbish about partaking or not partaking in Halloween activities.

Just leave a big tin of sweets outside and a note that says you are all ill, so don’t want to spread germs but callers are welcome to take a sweet. If the first callers take all of them and leave none for anyone else, I’m sure the subsequent callers will accept this and not make any noise or fuss. Besides, considering their age they will presumably have parents with them who will have the decency to not let their children take too many sweets.

There's no law that says you have to do it, I never have.

When DD was little I used to put a sign on the door saying "Happy Halloween, sorry No Trick or Treat here, young child asleep". I never got bothered.

I still put a sign on the door now, but without the child asleep part, as I do not want to be repeatedly bothered by children knocking. I have a child myself, but we are going to a Halloween party and will be out anyway, and I don't want to be bothered after that.

DD has never been out TorT apart from one year when we went to a couple of houses that we knew we were welcome at. Quite often we have been away or at a party.

Thank you everyone! I feel less bad and I've put the sign up.

have done it for 15yrs this year the first im not

youngest 12yrs is of with mates

im so glad my stint has come to the end,every year its getting bigger and bigger

I did a pumpkin with loads of holes drilled & popped in lollypops.

Sign beside it on the front step:

Baby is asleep
Please don't know
Please take a lollypop!

So chuffed with my little rhyme

Typo!

Baby is asleep

Please don't knock

Please take a lollypop!

We never participate and go to the pub instead. DD has never been allowed to go out Trick or Treating either.

The only time we have done it was when the mum from next door asked if we'd hand over some sweets she supplied to her older child with SN who'd suddenly decided he wanted to go. Told her not to be silly and went to buy him some. They moved before it came up again.

I’m taking 3yo dd out TorTing tonight, but it isn’t my favourite activity.

I love Halloween parties though, as we always had them growing up in Ireland. It’s a proper celebration where I’m from. TorT though, isn’t my thing though. I’ve vowed I’m not doing it next year.

We only do our tiny street and we know everyone by name. I’ve told dd that we don’t ever ask for sweets or take sweets from people we don’t know, which she accepts. There’s no way I’d ruin that lesson by taking her out TorT-ing to houses where we don’t know the residents.

We also have a WhatsApp group for our street, so we clear it with each other every year that our children might call over and what times suit / don’t suit. I think this is better.

I’ve already said to them that I’m leaving a bowl out with a note, so that’s that. Not because I don’t want to see people I know, it’s the little (big) darling teenagers I could do without! They’re nice kids round here, but I don’t especially want hoards of them rocking up at my door.

I think next year I’ll invite the neighbours for a drink and maybe some Halloween party games instead. I meant to do it this year but didn’t get organised.