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Original poster

To not do Halloween this year? Will they think I'm a snob?

65 replies

yesmelord · 31/10/2018 13:15

We live in a newish area, 25 houses and every single house has kids primary school age apart from ours. I have a 1 year old DD and I am 16 weeks pregnant with DC2.

My husband is away all day 10am-10pm at work and I'm getting over a stinking cold and DD is just starting to come down with it.

I feel like a Halloween grinch. We did Halloween last year and had to pop to the shops half way through the night to buy more sweets as so many children (and big groups of teens Hmm) kept knocking even at 11pm.

I just can't be bothered this year. I feel crap. Not having an easy pregnancy, still sick and very dizzy as well as generally more tired than ever running after my DD.

The thing is all the mums on my road seem to be very close. Their kids all play and they all stand and chat. I try to smile and say hi but I get the feeling they see me as stand offish because I'm not out there and chatty too.

Will they think I'm snobby for having a 'no trick or treaters' sign? Blush

OP posts:
DishingOutDone · 31/10/2018 13:51

The problem isn't you OP, its the teenagers and parents who let their kids knock on the door even if there are no decorations - that means they are equally likely to be doing it to elderly people as well.

put out a bowl of sweets and a note saying ‘young baby sleeping but help yourself’ - if people round your way are so rude and entitled then that will be gone with the first person who comes along so pointless - just don't answer the door.

Where on earth have you moved to that people think they can behave like that?

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 31/10/2018 13:52

Don't put a sign up just turn off all your lights. I like the idea of putting sweets out on little table. When your dc grow up a bit they will want to go trick or treating and you'll have to knock on all your neighbours doors.

LondonLassInTheCountry · 31/10/2018 13:54

Turn ur lights all off and dont open the door.

Forget about the treats outside

cadburyegg · 31/10/2018 13:57

FWIW we are not taking part this year because our 3 year old DS is easily spooked, and also my DH is working late and I’m not going up and down the stairs handing sweets out while I’m trying to do bath and bedtime solo with a 3 year old and a baby.

Parents who think they have some right to disturb people they barely know so precious Tarquin gets a few mars bars, piss me right off. My parents’ house is never decorated yet every bloody year trick or treaters knock. My dad has dementia and people in scary costumes will really intimidate/confuse him, even if they are kids.

Kids’ “rights” to go trick or treating don’t trump other peoples’ rights to quiet enjoyment of their own home.

squiggleirl · 31/10/2018 14:00

I think it may be best to do some sort of participation in trick or treating. After all, in a few years time, these are the people you would like to make an effort for your LOs.

You don't have to do anything, but bear in mind, whatever your motives, people may perceive it as being you not participating because your kids won't benefit, and rightly or wrongly, won't help you fit in.

As others have suggested, I would answer the door for a short while, then leave a sign saying something along the lines of 'Baby sleeping, feel free to take some treats. Happy Halloween' and leave a bowl of goodies outside. If someone takes them all, that's not your problem, and you've at least been seen to make an effort.

Topseyt · 31/10/2018 14:00

Just don't participate. No decorations or pumpkins out, turn out the front lights as much as possible, close curtains and blinds.

Ignore anyone who does knock.

We don't participate any more, thankfully. Our kids have outgrown it, I'm glad to say (youngest is now 16).

ReanimatedSGB · 31/10/2018 14:03

Put up a sign saying 'Baby sleeping, please do not knock'. Then you can be justified in snapping at anyone who does disturb you.

DS and I love Halloween but we have always followed the rule of only knocking on doors where there are obvious Halloween decorations.

Pinkkittens292 · 31/10/2018 14:03

Definitely don't leave treats outside.
I made this mistake a few years back as didn't want anyone knocking and waking my little one.
I left the bag of sweets outside (huge bag full) with a nice little note saying "Please do not knock and disturb the baby, but help yourself to two sweets each from the bag".
It works fine for little ones accompanied by adults, but I didn't account for the gangs of teenagers who took the whole lot and left the empty bag!!
I'm not doing it this year as my children are just happy with a special tea and I'm feeling rubbish myself.

BevBrook · 31/10/2018 14:05

We left a bowl out two years ago and someone stole the bowl! It was a nice bowl too, more fool us for leaving it out.
I do enjoy Halloween and like giving out sweets but even so once they are gone they are gone - I wouldn’t be going to buy more.

Topseyt · 31/10/2018 14:05

I wouldn't put boxes or bags of treats out either. Just do nothing.

Someone will swipe the lot if you do.

alphajuliet123 · 31/10/2018 14:07

One year I bought loads of chocolate in for trick or treaters but then decided to switch the lights off and eat it all myself.

What I would say though, OP, is that in years to come your children will want to go trick or treating and it sounds like you have a nice safe area to do it in so don't alienate yourself. For this year I'd go with the suggestion of leaving a bowl of sweets by the front gate or near the road (ie not by the door) and do a bit more next year. Or book a holiday.

DailyMailFail101 · 31/10/2018 14:07

If you don’t want to take part then don’t, but just remember In a couple of years if your kids go out to tick or treat how happy the houses that take part make them.

crosstalk · 31/10/2018 14:10

We've never done this as a family. You don't need to. Just put a sign up saying please don't knock - baby on board.

To PPs who've said an unwell person should bother with this so they can make longlasting friends for their toddler - wtf?

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 31/10/2018 14:11

It's not a massive thing in our street, and we never decorate the house or have a pumpkin outside (just me and DP at home). Usually we buy sweets, but this year DP is going to be out, and I am planning to switch the doorbell off at the mains. Our little cat has been a wreck because of all the fireworks, and the doorbell isn't her favourite, so I am giving both of us a night off. There's no way I'm going to sit in the dark and pretend to be out though!

blueskiesandforests · 31/10/2018 14:16

All the people saying switch off the lights and don't answer the door, that's fine for someone who knows they will never be knocking on thosesame neighbours' doors with an excited 5 year old in future.

The OP has a toddler/ baby and is pregnant. Unless shes planning to move house within the next two years she'd be shooting herself in the foot. She'll be knocking on those doors with her adorable 5 and 3 year old dressed up in 3 or 4 years and they'll have the lights off and not answer the door because their teens are out at a party, and yesmelord never answered the door when they were little...

Answer for an hour, coo over the cute infant and preschool age skeletons and witches etc, tell the mum's who come with the first early littlies that you're not answering after 7pm as your baby is poorly and you'll be trying to settle her and ask them to mention that to neighbors, then put up the poorly baby sleeping please don't ring sign and leave a cheap bowl with whatever remains of the sweets out.

Racecardriver · 31/10/2018 14:18

Put up a sign saying you have run out of sweets. Works every time.

TheDarkPassenger · 31/10/2018 14:19

Daily mail fail has it bloody spot on!

DerelictWreck · 31/10/2018 14:20

Just put a bowl outside and disconnect the doorbell/turn the lights off at the front?

TBH OP it depends if you want to fit in or not? Seems silly but if your goal is to have a good relationship with these parents (and trick or treating is the way to do that) then you need to decide if that trumps you're desire for a quiet night!

Original poster
yesmelord · 31/10/2018 14:21

If I left a bowl of sweets outside I don't think it would last 2 minutes! Confused

I do talk to my closest neighbours and take in parcels and things for them when I can and then have a chat at the door about whatever. I'm not a horrible completely unsociable person.
I just don't talk to them as much as they do each other (they all do school walks together, their kids go to the same school, similar ages etc)

I'm just feeling completely rubbish right now and to be honest struggling a bit with my 1 year old and having a bad pregnancy. Blush

next year when I don't feel like a puffy, sicky, snot bag I'll be more than happy answering the door again like I did last year. I just hope they understand Confused

OP posts:
Notfair2030 · 31/10/2018 14:23

Put a note on your day saying please no trick or treaters. Children sleeping

Original poster
yesmelord · 31/10/2018 14:23

@blueskiesandforests I have already said I did it last year for the kids on this street so I'm not that horrible Confused

I just want this year off. Will they really hold 1 year against me in tears to come?

OP posts:
Original poster
yesmelord · 31/10/2018 14:24

Years*

OP posts:
Notfair2030 · 31/10/2018 14:31

Not wanting to do halloween for whatever reason doesn't make you mean. We don't do it and my dc don't go trick or treating. They get enough treats they don't need to go out knocking on strangers doors. Nothing against those who want to but it's not for us. No pumpkin no knocking in our village. So like I said just put a sign up saying child sleeping and if they don't like it that makes them the snobs not you

Original poster
yesmelord · 31/10/2018 14:35

Thank you @Notfair2030
I'm going to do the 'baby sleeping please don't knock but have a lovely Halloween' sign and next year participate for their kids again.

I just want this year off BlushConfused I'm not saying every year.

OP posts:
blueskiesandforests · 31/10/2018 14:37

I'm sure they won't hold it against you as you take parcels in, smile and say hello, did it last year and hopefully do it next Flowers

So many pisters on MN seem to be perfect illustrations of why nobody knows their neighbours and there's no sense of community in some areas though - never answering their doors or chatting and "fuming" at anything which causes them to notice that the people they live in close proximity to exist.

I've just found it pays off to make an effort - I moved to a village abroad heavily pregnant and with a toddler and the effort I forced myself to put in initially has paid off multiple times over, over the years.

Hope you feel better soon Brew

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