Aibu to be upset- got a towel for my birthday.

[BirthdayTowel]

My p just gave me my birthday present.

1. A planner/diary thing. The one he gave me last year is still unused. I use google calendars.
2. A bath towel. ‘You’ve been using mine quite a lot so I thought you might want a new one’. We’ve been moving so I couldn’t find my nice normal one as I had packed it too well and was using an old thin stiff one.

I have bloody Pinterest. Most years he just picks something random from that. I even have a board called things I like - some costing a pound. It’s just the not giving a shit which is hurtful when he knows it’s important to me.

I don’t mean to drip feed. The passive aggressive interpretation seems to be the best. When I was much younger I left a bad relationship, I ended up homeless then on friends sofas and really struggled. I can’t face that again so would rather make the best of a bad situation.

Sounds like you need to make a good plan in advance of breaking-up this time, if that is what you choose to do, OP. I empathise as none of this is easy, but I think you deserve more than accepting a life of misery as an "easy" way out, when it doesn't sound easy at all

If someone got me one of the expensive moomin towels with moomintroll and snork maiden cuddling I would be happy.
But not any old towel. Seems a bit boring and thoughtless as does the year planner.
I love it if someone buys me pretty books that can be used as a diary(but not actual diaries) because I like to write my thoughts and things that happen down most days.

After so many years isn't it a struggle to think of gifts. I literally scrabble around for my Dh every year. There is zero point in buying gadget or hobby stuff as I wouldn't get the right thing. So usually end up buying him a T-shirt r hoodie a new brand bottle of Gin. I think men have it easier I am always happy with a new perfume n piece of bling as I wouldn't buy myself & am not too fussy. He has bought me dresses (as he complains I don't wear them enough!) which can be very hit or miss so I'd rather he didn't. Once o a v last minute buy he bought me a hideous woolly Peruvian hat. I was upset that he didn't know me enough to know I'd absolutely hate it! I took it back. I'd be upset with a towel unless there was some private joke or hidden meaning in it.

Why do adults become like needy children when it comes to gifts? I have been like that myself till I realised my kind loving partner cannot read my mind. I have cried in the past at gifts, but that is about me, not him. I haven't read twt but presents apart if your partner is kind then you need to put the gift thing in perspective.

My eldest DD now buys stuff for DH to give to me. The standard of presents has definitely improved. I used to get lots of IOU's, like IOU a new coat, or boots, which I then just bought myself anyway. I have literally hundreds of pounds worth of unspent IOU's. Still better than the really awful underwear he used to buy though.