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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be upset- got a towel for my birthday.

81 replies

BirthdayTowel · 30/10/2018 06:04

My p just gave me my birthday present.

  1. A planner/diary thing. The one he gave me last year is still unused. I use google calendars.
  2. A bath towel. ‘You’ve been using mine quite a lot so I thought you might want a new one’. We’ve been moving so I couldn’t find my nice normal one as I had packed it too well and was using an old thin stiff one.

I have bloody Pinterest. Most years he just picks something random from that. I even have a board called things I like - some costing a pound. It’s just the not giving a shit which is hurtful when he knows it’s important to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
BirthdayTowel · 30/10/2018 07:53

I’m with him because we are stuck with each other.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 30/10/2018 07:53

I’d love to know what you all buy your DHs and if they are really thrilled with your choice of gift?

Holidayshopping · 30/10/2018 07:53

Have an Amazon wish list on it with loads of things on it. Ask him to choose from it and not go off piste.

anniehm · 30/10/2018 07:53

Most men are crap at presents, actually I think he was being slightly thoughtful, he saw the thin towel and actually thought you would like a better one.

My dh has been known to buy me a computer game he wants, tickets to an event he wants to go to or clothes that don't fit.

GreedyBastard · 30/10/2018 07:54

My DH got me a towel for christmas once but it was amazingly fluffy with my name on it and it wasnt the only gift.....

Today is my birthday aswell OP my DH got me a
Digital radio for the kitchen
Pjs
Purfume
New gym water bottle
Massive box of malteasers
Then tonight were off out for a chinese

Tell your DH straight you think its a bit shit. I would.

myron · 30/10/2018 07:55

I don’t like surprise presents - over the years, DH has proved that he is rubbish at them. I just tell him directly and specifically exactly what. I would like. Nowadays, I prefer tickets to see a show and a dinner afterwards. He has good taste choosing shows and restaurants though.

SandyY2K · 30/10/2018 07:56

That's rubbish as a gift from your partner. YANBU.

Havaina · 30/10/2018 07:58

Why are you stuck with each other? Why write your life off like that and spend it with a selfish man?

In the mean time, please do get him just socks for Christmas.

Does he expect thoughtful presents from you?

Nanny0gg · 30/10/2018 07:59

Why stuck?

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 30/10/2018 08:04

You aren't stuck with each other if you don't want to be. Being in a relationship is a choice. If you have children or are joined by complicated financial arrangements, then it might take you time to extricate yourself, but this doesn't have to be your life forever.

imlateagain · 30/10/2018 08:04

A towel? Luxury. I got an oven glove. (From my exH!)

Ifoundanacorn · 30/10/2018 08:11

You know what hun you standards are way way too low!!!

Biscuits??
towels??

It is all just so thoughtless and crap.

You are never stuck unless you want to be.

oohyoudevilyou · 30/10/2018 08:12

At least a towel is useful, unlike some of the shit presents I've heard of! I'd suggest a shared shopping trip so he can treat you to something you choose, and a nice lunch or afternoon tea in town might work better next time.

dontalltalkatonce · 30/10/2018 08:12

What IWanna said.

butterflysugarbaby · 30/10/2018 08:16

Thanks guys. Never heard of a charity goat gift before

And I think it's depressing to say you are STUCK with him OP. WHY?

puzzledlady · 30/10/2018 08:17

Must be some back story or a drip feed coming up. I mean - it’s not a great present, but it’s not nothing. It’s not something to get so upset about - some people get nothing.

wrongendofthisdick · 30/10/2018 08:18

I have bloody Pinterest. Most years he just picks something random from that

I wonder why he ignored that this year?

I’m with him because we are stuck with each other

Because he thinks he's "got you" he is wielding the power to be shitty, knowing you are stuck. Very passive-aggressive of him.

Merryoldgoat · 30/10/2018 08:19

Why stuck? And, if the only reason you’re together is that you’re ‘stuck’ with one another then I don’t think it’s surprising you got a thoughtless gift.

To PP saying that material gifts equate to love, I think you being obtuse. There’s a world of difference between a towel and, say, a bunch of her favourite flowers.

My husband and I have a £5-£10 limit for valentines and anniversaries and have always managed to get one another thoughtful presents that the other will like with that amount.

thegreylady · 30/10/2018 08:19

I gave my dgd a set of scarlet Ralph Lauren towels for her 19th birthday which was just before she set off for her first term at university. She appeared to love them. I hope she did.

humblesims · 30/10/2018 08:24

I've been with my much loved DH for twenty five years. One year he bought me a wicker basket with fake velvet cushion in it with straw/raffia stuff to pad it out which contained a hair brush and a bath scrubber thing and some other random items. It was the worst present he ever gave me. One year I bought him a plastic sheet for the boot of the car. We cant always get it right. Another year he spent the best part of a grand on a painting I'd fallen in love with and (yet) another year I spent £3 on a tiny leather plectrum holder that fits on his keyring which he has loved and treasured ever since. Its the thought behind it really I suppose.

florafawna · 30/10/2018 08:31

I feel for you OP.

I think you need to see this as a turning point in your life. Please sit down and work out in what ways you are "stuck with" him. Start a new thread and let's see if we can help you change your life. This sounds a miserable way to life IMO.

Remember, your DH can up and leave anytime even if they seem stuck - and you will manage somehow. So why don't you take charge of your life instead of letting it happen to you? You'll feel much better that way.

pandarific · 30/10/2018 08:36

@BirthdayTowel should you really be in a relationship with someone who is 'very selfish'? Sad

You should be in one with someone who is fundamentally a kind, generous person. Whether they are crap with gifts is neither here nor there.

ErrolTheDragon · 30/10/2018 09:01

I gave my dgd a set of scarlet Ralph Lauren towels for her 19th birthday which was just before she set off for her first term at university. She appeared to love them. I hope she did.

That may depend on whether she avoided putting them in with all her other washing, which is what many new students would do! 

BarbaraofSevillle · 30/10/2018 09:16

Biscuits are a great present, providing you eat them. We only do token consumable presents. DP knows to buy me gin, florentines or something from Hotel Chocolat. Or those Border biscuits chocolate covered ginger ones. I'd be more happy with a pack of those than jewellry, clothes or something else expensive that I don't want. I get him a pile of stuff from the Aldi Christmas range and some beer that is only available online.

Anything 'physical' we just buy what we want, when we want it, as we both want to research the exact item we want and look for the best price. Totally pointless dressing up a hobby item, clothes, gadget etc as a gift for the sake of it.

YouBetterWOooOooOoo · 30/10/2018 09:23

I got a towel one year... with a gorgeous necklace wrapped inside. A towel and a diary planner sounds like a last minute dash to the supermarket present to me.