Not to offer a taste of my plate at a restaurant?

[chardonm]

Interested in hearing people's opinions. Am I a little rude in not offering people a taste of my plate?

I do it with DH, but when there is a group of say 5 people, I don't want 5 peoples' forks into my plate. Conversely I do not want to taste everyone's dish either.

Is this considered rude? Should one always offer?

DH and I always do this unless it's just bog standard fish and chips etc. If it's my mum/dad/brother etc and I'm eating something I think they would particularly like and haven't tried before/had at that restaurant I'd offer, but not to the whole table, by the time everyone has had some half my dinner would be gone! I do like sharing type restaurants though where you just order different things fit the middle of the table and you all try a bit of everything.

My IL’s do this and it makes me want to vom. And I hate the fact that they think I’m rude for not offering a taste of mine.

Although I've just realised I was away for work a few weeks ago and went to a really interesting Korean Street food place in Birmingham and ordered a drink I'd not even heard of before it was kind of like fizzy slightly sour milk, it sounds gross but was really nice. All five of the colleagues I was with tried it, straight from my glass so I guess I'm not bothered about germs

How do all the germ crew get passed kissing people?

Well I wouldn’t snog my IL’s! Cheek kisses only.

Oh, apparently this is an issue on which I'm very out of Mumsnet step! Friends and I offer tastes of drinks and food (especially dessert) a lot. It's always for the person to offer not for anyone to ask, though, and I'd only do it with something new/unusual - so I wouldn't offer anyone a taste of pasta carbonara because they all know what that tastes like, might I might offer them some jackfruit tacos. I wouldn't share food or drink with someone with an obvious cold or anything but otherwise I'm very blasé about germs and it doesn't seem to have done me much harm yet! If you think it's disgusting to share food does that mean you can't eat anywhere that the food is intentionally communal, like tapas, or ever order a sharing platter or anything like that?

Ok so this has made me feel much better! Thank you all for your replies. I guess it doesn't bother me when there is a communal platter because there are utensils to use.

Very weird to offer but my close friends or family would allow someone a taste if they asked..

Interested to see how many are disgusted be this!
I would happily offer for others to try my food if, like @lisasimpsonsbff if I had ordered something that was amazing looking and different, and I would actually feel really rude to not offer if someone said my food looked nice or asked about whether I liked it! I agree with PPs- if someone asks to try some, you cut a bit off and put it on their plate! They don't just dip their fork into your plate!

I can totally understand why someone would not be ok with this.

That said, in my odd little group, we eat bites off each forks, drink from each others glasses to try sips, and generally have few boundaries.
That works for us though, not saying others should

My DD and dgs's tend to treat my food as their food. The dgs's get away with it, DD gets a taste only now. My family tend to blatantly hint ie that looks nice, or I don't think I've tried that - what's it like, and they would be offered a small piece to try, but I would do the same to them. My DH is oblivious to hints, he will just agree that it does look good or explain what it tastes like. He will happily let me try his food if I ask directly and likewise if he wants to try mine he will ask and know that he is welcome to try whatever. My in-laws eat what is on their own plate only and will tell you at the end if something was delicious - smart people

Oh, and I have coeliac disease. If people have dabbled their forks through gravy or soy sauce, before flipping though my food, I end up with cramps and bloody, mucousy diarrhoea before desert. No thanks. (Meanwhile, they like to think I'm being a drama llama and roll their eyes at me.)

Not to five fucking people. There wouldn't be any left for YOU!

If they like the look of it that much, tell them to order it as a side.

Glad to identify with those who are happy to share. I much prefer meals where the serving fishes are put on the table for everyone to help themselves, so the question hardly arises.

This appears to be considered 'normal' for Thai/ Chinese / Indian / Persian /Turkish but is not unusual in standard English food, think about a roast which is carved and the vegetables and accompaniments being handed round.

Once in my early student life I went to a Chinese Restaurent and was amazed to have no discussion about what to order (we usually each pick a dish to share) and when the food arrived instead of helping themselves to different dishes they piled their choice onto their plates and wired in.

Not cool. But sociable. Not fun.

I'm vegetarian and don't want other forks that have been in meat then going into my food thanks all the same!

I much prefer meals where the serving fishes are put on the table for everyone to help themselves, so the question hardly arises

I’m more than happy with this. Serving spoons are generally used in these scenarios. When my IL’s offer me something off their fork/stick their used fork in my food etc it makes me feel sick. And I’m not a particularly anti germ person.
We were out for food with SIL and BIL recently. I ordered a dessert. They said ‘I can’t eat a whole one, I’ll just have some of yours’. Err no, get your own (we were paying for them by the way).

I hate sharing food. I'll allow a few select people to have a little of ny dish, but not just anyone and certainly not multiple people. There'd be nothing left.

Occasionally if I'm out with a friend or family member and we can't decide between two dishes we might order one of each and share but otherwise I want the food that I ordered especially as I love to have seafood when I'm out so I'm not interested in eating chicken fried rice that someone else ordered. If I wanted to try different dishes I'd go to a buffet.

The couples sound like they probably haven’t socialized with non-family for a while.

I share food, even drinks when we order cocktails and we want to see what we are going to order next. A friend of mine cannot drink much, so we offer her the first tiny sip of the glass so she can have a taste.
I guess I was raised like that, did that with family and friends and this became a standard. Luckily my friends are like that too!

Me and my friends share food. This happens in so many other cultures too. Don’t see the problem

In an Indian or Chinese I could possibly leave a little in the main dish for them to dip a naan in or whatever but usual plated pub grub get your fork off possible exception is hubby

God no yanbu

Ugh that sounds disgusting. Leave my food alone! Even the word plate is making me feel a bit ill. I may have food issues though!

And the whole sharing pudding thing makes me twitch

Just get a whole thing and leave some

if they all start doing it, then put your arms around your food and state firmly that nobody better try touching your food

Sounds like they need to order tapas or something.