To dread turning 50.

[Luckyguess]

Really struggling with this. Is it really all down hill from here?

on the Christmas thread ... the gifts for older ladies section 'perhaps a scarf or some nice hand lotion or take her to a garden centre for afternoon tea.

I'm guilty of poking my nose into every 'gifts for decrepit, ancient over 50s' thread I stumble over and throwing all the crappy hand cream at other posters's heads.

Most exciting decade of my life so far! New and pressing worries, certainly - but so much volcanic emotion and such hunger in my brain for new challenges and achievements. I have astonished myself. (And all the dullards who thought they knew me! )

I'm nearly 60. I still ride my horse competitively, am learning a new language and am planning a camping trip to Africa in 2020 as a jointbcelebration of both our 60th birthdays and our ruby wedding anniversary. The 50s are what you make of them but it's great to have some freedom after raising kids. The only downside is older parents.

I will be turning 50 in a while and whilst I am not dreading it and know it is only a number I really don’t want to say my age. Quite happy with 48/49 but every time I think 50 it pushes me a little more down.

My DC are adults, I have a DH and the money and freedom to please myself it is just the number that gets me. I don’t want to be seen as over the hill at work and as the 2nd oldest in the dept I will be. Trying very hard to keep the significance of my birthday quiet but I think too many friends and colleagues know.

DH mentioned my birthday last weekend asking if there was anything I specifically wanted to do or as a present. I was quite sharp with my answer. Along the lines on this was my 50th birthday and surely by now someone could have an idea that didn’t need me to tell them what to do. In context we have been together 30 years and he mentioned having discussed this with my siblings too.

50 was my hardest birthday too OP. Having sailed through all other birthdays with a cheery enthusiasm, it was like hitting a brick wall. I just had a feeling of time running out, and if I wanted to do something it had to be right now as there might not be a tomorrow. I wouldn’t actually be living forever. Depressing, but that’s how I felt.

I’m now 54, and 50 still remains my worst birthday. In a way I’m glad I feel like that, it’s made me make the best of everything. Enjoy my good health etc. And I have a fulltime job after 20 years as a sahm. That has been amazing.

It is what it is, and you’ll be fine.

Bad side - I suspect No one will fancy me
Good side - not dead !

I turned 50 last month and I have an 11 year old so definitely still a hands on Mum.
50 is fine. Nothing you can do to stop it happening so you might as well embrace it.

I am in my 50s- this is the best decade yet!!

No young ones to look after, time to get really fit, spend more time with OH, ramp up my business.

I love it.

There are some definite benefits like no more periods once you're past the uncertainty of the perimenopause. More confidence in yourself. Invisibility to some types of men is a bonus. I turned 50 the year my dd turned 5 and we both enjoyed the similarity in the numbers

Love these comments!
I am nearly 60 and having the time of my life. Fuck off with your hand cream, floral scarves and garden centre teas.....I want tickets to gigs and bottles of good gin.
Getting rid of a knob of a husband in my 50s helped.....

My kids will still be teenager too so probably more angst !

But better than dead 💀

Some people would have loved the chance to get to 50. Two families I know where the mum has died in their 20's and the other in her 30's leaving a total of 5 children behind under 5. Sorry to morbid but embrace the life you have and be thrilled with achieving your 50 years!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Seriously, age is just a number. I am 60 & thoroughly enjoying life; I am in a job I love with a great bunch of colleagues, a few of us are 60 but most are a lot younger but we all seem to enjoy each other’s company. I have never worked with such a nice team. My parents are in their late 80s & loving life too, still getting out and about & seeking new challenges.
You can meet people who are ‘old’ in their 20s, I work with a lot of volunteers & we have people in their 90s still busy & contributing to society. . It is your attitude that shapes the person you are.
I love being older, a real sense of knowing who I am and not caring about other people’s opinions of me !

I love being older, a real sense of knowing who I am and not caring about other people’s opinions of me !

This!!!

I am 56- Life is so much more enjoyable than when I was in my 20s.

And it's not just being in a happier situation.

It's to do with being comfortable in my own skin, I accept myself, the way I look the traits I have.
I can "see through" people, understand the motives of others clearly, I can spot a liar, I am unlikely to get hoodwinked.
I don't stress about stuff, I am less easily rattled, I take things in my stride, I can use my life experiences in dealing with new situations.
I like not being cat called in public, no wolf whistles from building sites or seedy stares in public. I like not being the subject of unwanted sexual focus in public- it's very liberating.

For very personal reasons, and none related to vanity, I dreaded turning 50 and was deliberately miserable because of it. What a fool I was.

I like Emma Thompson's take on being in your 50s

The interviewer asks: I thought 50 was the new 35?

"Can I just say, very loudly, bollocks. If you look after yourself and you're healthy, then you'll have the energy to do things. But not to recognise getting older for what it is? I do think the infantilisation of our generation is one of the huge issues of our time. People wanting to be 35 when they're 50 makes me think: why? Why don't you be 50 and be good at that? And also embody the kinds of choices that are sustainable at that age."

What sort of choices? "Well, I see people starting life over and over again. And you want to say: just go deeper into the one you've got. Because you can skim very easily. It's set up for that because we're such a disposable society. And I think that relationships are regarded as more disposable than they were, and that's short-sighted of us."

I've put parts in bold because I think they are very wise.

full interview here

I hated the day of turning 50 and all those pink sparkly cards with 50 gurning at me.—I was grateful—

Anyway as said up thread ; give absolutely no fucks!

I drink all the gin
I please myself and I don’t feel I have to please others or explain why I’m not doing it that way.

Hope you’re feeling a bit brighter OP.

• my strike out doesn’t work anymore on my phone

Believe me 50 will soon sound young to you.

@JungDisciple
Jan - Harry Potter play tickets
feb - The Full Monty theeatr tickets
March - other friends 50th celebrations
April spa day & night
May - Take That & Magic Mike Live.
June - girls weekend abroad
July POSs the above as we think it’ll be the last weekend and ya know ££
August sept to go
October other friends 50th event
And haven’t decided on no and dec 😂

I’ve survived. It’s surprisingly liberating to not have to give two figs any more.
No competitive makeup and heels, no sucking stomach in, comfortable shoes and underwear, warm clothing.
Children grown but still needing us - just not all the time. Travel much cheaper for two than for whole family.
Wet weekends with a fire and bad television (except for walking the dog). Beans on toast, if that is what I want.
It’s good being secure in who you are, your relationships, your work with the time to be more active and do more interesting things.

I found turning 45 unexpectedly unleashed all kinds of demons - health anxiety, weird physical symptoms, morbid preoccupation with how long I had left, fears for the dc etc etc.

Turning 50 (next year) will be a breeze in comparison, I hope. I'm actually looking forward to it, as I've planned all kinds of treats.

Think positive!

Am a lot over 50. The positives are being retired & choosing how I spend my time - a language, hiking, cinema, theatre, exhibitions, childr

I felt the same way. Dreaded it. So I gave myself a present and did something really radical. I went gorilla trekking. You could do anything.
One consolation. When I finally got to 50 it didn't seem.so bad.

Oops! children grown up, book club, seeing friends. And sometimes just pottering at home. No-one will fancy me thank goodness - can do without that limitation to my life. I am not a number! No going downhill, just onwards & upwards.

Thank you all for your comments, some made me laugh and others cry. Glad to know others have felt the same. With lots of 🍷& 🍰 I'm feeling a bit better about it. X