To dread turning 50.

[Luckyguess]

Really struggling with this. Is it really all down hill from here?

Haha. I turn 50, next year and my oldest will only be 15. Need to keep hold of my mum shoes for a few years, yet.

Hmph. I am almost 54 and having plenty of good times. Since turning 50 I have shagged a couple of toyboys, restarted my writing career, made a whole load of new (and mainly younger) friends. I don't feel like a 'little old lady' in the least. I have a 14-year-old DS who is so far not hitting the horrible stage of adolescence, and am pulling together a new business line for myself.

The only bad things are aches and pains and lack of money, but I had those at 35 or so as well.

@heddaGarbled, that's interesting. I almost bought a book at the airport with a title like that. I will google.

this is the book I almost bought Maybe I will order it, you recommend it hedda?

I know how you feel OP. It is a shock to be turning 50. I do think the run up to any big birthday is worse than the actual event though. Once it’s all done and dusted you can then look at living life to the fullest in the new decade.

good article and some extra links

And I have a 12 year old and 7 year old so nowhere near out of the child rearing years!

I’m 53. A few months before I turned 50 I was so depressed I felt suicidal. Been made redundant from a good job in London, moved back home to a dull provincial town as mum had had a severe stroke and was in a nursing home, dad had dementia and was going blind, so I moved back to look after him. I was so stressed and lonely, I fantasised about hanging mysrlf on my 50th birthday as I couldn’t envisage my life getting any better. I felt like a failure and that I’d lost everything . However I’ve now got a life again, been in a good relationship, got more friends and feel much more positive about the future. If I can get through this, so can you.

I know it’s hard, 50 is a real milestone especially with the menopause but it’s doable and you can come out the other side!

I know, all of the traditional positive cheer about being 50 is that you have newfound freedom to enjoy with a partner. I will STILL be stuck at home with youngish DC. Even in two years time, I wouldn't be able to go away for a night and leave them on their own, they wouldn't be quite old enough. Maybe at 51. If I have anywhere to go :-|

@destinysdaughter that must have been really depressing for sure. Glad things turned around for you

Better than the alternative

I'm 51 and still doing the school run (youngest is 9 eldest 27) but being older is more a state of mind than how you are physically . I still go out clubbing ( selective club nights) & keep fit . I don't feel any older than my 30/40 year old friends.

Physically everything's downhill from 30! 50's no big deal. The aging parents and illness is a big deal, but there's no sense hooking that onto turning 50.

My parents have a better time than me! Anywhere they want to go, they just say ''lisbon for a weekend'' and off they go. Or bridge. Or a walk. Or a meal. Or a play. They had me young. I had my kids older. They have each other and I"m single. So I see how growing older can be. But I know I will have to carve out something different.

@JungDisciple, I haven’t read it, but I have read articles like the ones you’ve linked and they certainly reflected my experience.

Roll with it as there is nothing you can do to stop yourself from ageing.

I think it’s peoples perception of 50 that’s the problem it’s rammed down our throats every day, over 50’s funeral plans, free pens, over 50’s ladies keep fit classes, the strap line is “if you’re aged 50 -80” 50 is lumped in with old people, it really needs re branding.

I had no problem with 40 or 50 , but I'll be 60 in 18 months. I'm not looking forward to it! Maybe it's because women used to be pensioners at 60 ? I don't feel old and I'm told I don't look my age but it's still bugging me a bit. I've considered having a party and embracing it. I had a party for my 50th but it was quite a staid affair. I hope to be able to afford having a party and it being more lively!

Yes I thought 40 was the worst, I got absolutely shit faced a few months before at my works leaving do (first time in a few years since I had DD), I could barely get out of bed the next morning. I mourned my youth.

I found my 40s hard tbh, maybe thats because I spent most of the decade as a skint single parent, whose social life consisted of once and a blue moon lunches with friends.

50s on the other hand have been great, DD became a teenager (and has since left home), I got more freedom, she could come and pick my up from drinks with friends when she got her licence every now and then. I've had time to go swimming regularly and I have lost weight.

DD is also great to spend time with, no longer held up in her cave room or with friends.

I'm in my 60's and life is wonderful. Turning 50 is nothing in the scheme of things - it's just another day in your life. Sounds to me that you have other things worrying you , and maybe you are pinning it all on your age instead of looking at the bigger picture of your life. Throw away your calendar and focus on what needs fixing , rather than on this number. Good luck !

I am 55 started dating again this year. Now have wonderful boyfriend and happier than ever. Feel like a teenager.

Turning 50 is great. My fifties were my most dynamic decade yet. Moved from Greece to UK where I lived in Surrey Cornwall London and then settled in Scarborough. learned new skill, went self employed and got married. Oh, and stopped having periods which was very liberating. I've j
ust turned 61.

I'm 52, and am loving my 50s...I ha no fucks left to give; I am practising the MN mantra that 'no' is a complete sentence, and I'm trying very hard to be firmer with my Mum.

I have the wherewithal and freedom to do what I want, and it is liberating. Ds is 23 and can cope on his own (although he is back home post MA). My 40s were spent getting him through secondary education, A levels and into university, and my 50s, apart from proofing his dissertations, have been hands off.

I am where I want to be. Long may it last.

I turn 50 next year. Not fussed about it to be honest. Certainly won't be having a big do or anything. I'm a single mum with 2 teenagers and one 7 year old at home so it's just trudging on really one year older. I can't see it making a huge difference, it won't be until I'm 60 that the youngest will be an adult. I am trying to get a bit fitter though as I certainly feel more achy now. Can't wait to no longer have periods though