AIBU?
To think my DD's attitude is a bit off...
definitelymaybe8 · 29/10/2018 15:55
My 22 yo DD has just ended a 3 year relationship a few weeks ago and is back on the swipey app.
She is perfectly honest says she doesn't want a relationship just to date guys...OK fine....she is planning her 2nd date with one and tells me she won't be home for the night as he's booked a hotel. He's sending her messages implying this and she is fine in fact encouraging it.
I am OK with it but am about concerned for her safety as she tells me it's a 'surprise' so she has no idea where she is going. If her Dad knows he will not be best pleased and take it out on he as I will be condoning it but after all she is 22, a grown woman....
Is this the norm or what?
ShartGoblin · 29/10/2018 16:12
She's 22 so unfortunately, if you try to control what she does, she'll just stop telling you.
You're not wrong though, it isn't a safe situation. Could you try and encourage her to get the details and send you a text at a certain time to let you know she's fine? That's what I do with my friends for any late night journeys and I'm 27.
definitelymaybe8 · 29/10/2018 16:13
Agree with you all, I asked about Snapchat she said it only updates when you are on it, might have to tell her to log in now and again so I can see where she is.
Dad is really old fashioned might be worth me actually telling him she's at her friends rather than on this date (unless he picks her up) might save me a lot of explaining and him yes taking it out on me.
When he found out about Tinder I got it in the ear...
Tighnabruaich · 29/10/2018 16:14
Aged 22 my mother never knew where I was from one weekend to the next, as I lived in my own flat and it would have never entered my head to tell her about my dates etc.
However, she should certainly drop you a text with the name of the hotel once she's checked in.
Is there any need to tell her dad anything about this?
Spiderdemon · 29/10/2018 16:17
i think you need to disentangle two things - one, that she's shagging someone on the second date, (which you're embarrassed about but which is not really your business) and the real concern - which is going to unknown location.
Try and be very blase and matter of fact about the shagging but ask her to put in place a text safety policy.
NarcolepticOuchMouse · 29/10/2018 16:19
Get the app called Life360. Get her to form a group with you and then you'll know where she is. If she can't see the danger in this situation then I think some serious words need to be had about her being a total moron. Has she always been naïve and overly trusting or is this a confidence plea after the break up?
Echobelly · 29/10/2018 16:32
I think being too jumpy about this is a recipe to put her off being open with you, so I'd say something like 'Look, we don't want to intrude, as you are an adult, but you've only just met this guy, let us know where you'll be going when you know, and hope you have a good time'
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