To not go to dd2’s GCSE choices parents’ evening?

[TwoPlacesAtOnce234]

Dd1 is 18 and in her first term at a university about a two and a half hour drive away from us. She is a great violinist, is in the orchestra (and a string quartet) and is taking part in a Christmas concert in early December.

Dd2 is 14 and in Year 9. Choosing GCSEs is coming up soon, and on the same evening in early December as dd1’s concert, she has a parents’ evening. At her school, it’s the first one where pupils attend with their parents, and it’s supposed to be where they talk to all their teachers about GCSE choices, before making their decision over the Christmas holiday and giving the form in in January.

Unfortunately, I can’t be in both places at once. WIBU to go to dd1’s concert and send dh to dd2’s parents’ evening by himself? I really want dd1 to have at least one parent in the audience at her concert (we went to all her school concerts, and want to keep that going now she’s at uni).

Or do dd2’s school and GCSE choices have to come first?

It's about time the school stopped expecting both parents at the option evening. Be the first to challenge the "done thing" narrative.

I'm not sure why I'm astonished that having both parents attend a parents' evening is 'the done thing'. Are there no single parents? No parents that have other commitments? Parents where one is ill or deceased or abroad or something? Parents whom aren't 'technically', or rather, biologically parents such as a grandparent or a godparent or anyone else that holds caring responsibilities?

In resolving your dilemma, I'm not sure what is best to do because I don't see the problem. You and your husband have two children and can both attend one event each with no apparent obstacles.

But whose parents ever attended parents' evening as a duo? My own parents used to take it in turns so the other could frankly sit at home and watch TV if they were so inclined.

Why don't you speak to dd1 instead, and let her know you probably can't make it to her concert after all? She's the adult now whereas dd2 is still a child.
If you know more about dd2's schooling then it makes better sense for you to go to the parents' evening.

Just go to 1 event each and make sure you have discussed the options with DD2 and DH before parents evening and give them any questions you want asking