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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get obsessed so easily?

136 replies

Ansumpasty · 28/10/2018 16:31

This is more of an ‘am I being abnormal’ rather than unreasonable. Just seeing if anyone can relate!

All my life I’ve felt things very strongly and get easily obsessed with things. If I liked a boy in school, he’d be all I thought about, etc. I loved the circus as a child and would go all the time and sob when it left and dream of running away and joining them, etc.
As an adult, I find myself getting obsessed with things/people/places more than others do. I will watch a series on Netflix and become obsessed with it, often watching everything my favourite character is in, researching things about it and feeling really upset when it’s finished or a character dies. I’ve had the death of a character upset me so much that it’s literally ruined my evening and been on my mind for days.

I’ve read books set in specific places/countries and then have to read others set in the same place, research the country and plan on visiting, etc.

There’s a place I go on holiday to quite regularly that I feel this strongly about. I feel upset to the point of tears when we have to leave, bring silly things like rocks I find there home and watch any programme etc about it.
I’m ‘normal’ in every other way, with a happy marriage and children and nice friends. Just wondering if anyone else feels this strongly about silly things and has these adult obsessions?
What do you get attached to?

OP posts:
wooster16 · 29/10/2018 23:12

Op everything you said in that last post totally resonated with me!

user838383 · 29/10/2018 23:17

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CarrieBlu · 29/10/2018 23:28

I have a lot of the same traits as many PP’s.

Out of interest, those of you who have said you have recently been diagnosed with ADHD or similar, how did that come about? Did you get a referral through your GP or were you assessed privately?

OP, my recurring obsession is the furniture at home. I lie in bed most nights thinking of different ways I can rearrange the furniture to optimise the space we have. My DH has become accustomed to coming home from work to find the entire house rearranged. I know it’s strange, but I just really love doing it. Though I’m never satisfied with the results!

I will also become obsessed with TV shows and will research everything I possibly can about them. DH is a real TV/film buff himself though so happily indulges me and feeds my obsession with random bits of information.

TheWiseWomansFear · 29/10/2018 23:36

All sounds very normal and similar to me, though my GP does think I exhibit OCD tendencies

blackteasplease · 29/10/2018 23:46

I am a bit like this too. I can be alot like it to be honest!

I don't think it's that unusual.

I have quite a few ASD traits but have been told I don't have ASD .

AddictedToSkittles · 29/10/2018 23:58

@boopsy I am currently exactly the same about an actor in the series I'm watching!

MarthaArthur · 30/10/2018 00:04

I have ocd and maladaptive daydreaming and obsess over so many things. Sometimes its fun and useful but when i get into bad mental health its becomes painful and unhealthy. Im currently going through a break up where i have no answers and find myself obsessing over every single part of the relationship and what hes doing even though i will never know. I obsess over music and can play the same song on repeat for hours.

FieryGhoulie · 30/10/2018 00:10

Yes I'm like this too. Especially over places, I watch programmes set there, got my itinerary set out 😂

My DS is the same.

OHolyNightOwl · 30/10/2018 00:21

OMG, I have never heard of Maladaptive Daydreaming, but that is me! That is what I do!
I can usually choose what to obsess over however, so don't have all the same traits as others on here, but the daydreaming and escaping into other worlds (be it through books/TV/extreme research), that is me 100%.

JaneJeffer · 30/10/2018 00:27

I don't think it's unusual at all. All sorts of people are obsessed with all sorts of things!

LelouchviBritanniacommandsyou · 30/10/2018 00:36

I'm somewhat similar to you in that I go through phases of being a bit obsessed with things e.g. I saw a poster about pigs once and that led to me checking a website about pigs every day even though it never changed, I got books about pigs, toy pigs etc. I would probably have gotten an actual pig if I could have!

It's the same with TV shows: after watching The Reichenbach Fall episode of Sherlock I felt sad for days and wrote a song about it :P I still get upset thinking about Francis dying in Reign even though I knew it was coming the entire time. And my username is based on the anime I was watching at the time I signed up to MN; the character is my phone's wallpaper at the moment too.

I have anxiety/depression and some OCD tendancies according to my GP so maybe it's something to do with that. DH can get pretty obsessed with things too though (spending hours and hours on things) and he doesn't have any mental health issues. So sometimes I think it's just a personality thing.

I guess it's only an issue if it starts hurting you or other people?

(I apologise in advance for the app taking away my paragraphs).

MarthaArthur · 30/10/2018 01:05

I am also in the grips of limerance the same as another poster on a current thread. I didnt even realise that could be part of my ocd.

lunchboxloony · 30/10/2018 01:09

Some PPs have mentioned autism - we're all on that spectrum somewhere so even if not technically autistic, we can all have certain traits or behaviours which do often link in with a full diagnosis. My DS has ASD and ADHD and you could find a lot of his traits in any one of us - it's just when you get all 5 (I think) areas over a certain point on the spectrum, that you get the 'label'. But we're all there somewhere......

OP may have that one tendency which is often found in ASD cases, without being extreme enough in other areas to be considered autistic. A lot of PPs have mentioned anxiety and coping mechanisms, again common ASD traits but not exclusive. Labels are useful when you need support - but otherwise not always helpful. This is clearly just a 'thing' which loads of people do - I always tell DS we're all a bit weird in one way or another Grin! And we're all different - hooray!

darkparadise1 · 30/10/2018 01:19

I do this and also have autism! I thought of it straight away from your OP so it's interesting that other posters have also mentioned it.

@Carrieblu - I paid for a private assessment for autism. I was told by my GP that adult autism diagnoses weren't high priority and had long waiting lists.

junebirthdaygirl · 30/10/2018 04:39

My dh ticks a lot of the boxes mentioned here. Very bright but definitely exhibiting signs of adhd and dyspraxia but no diagnosis in his day. Just recently he decides to buy a new car but he has become obsessed with looking up car he has chosen. Visits garages all over and does massive research on the internet.Calls garages in far flung places to check details and prices. I feel like screaming..buy the bloody car. But it becomes like his latest hobby and he won't buy until he has got a good month out of it and by then l will hate the car as l have heard so much. Then it will be on to next obsession. He suffer from anxiety and its like a soothing thing.
I have never been obsessed with anything in my life so its good for me to read this page as sometimes ( often!) It does my head in and l strive to keep the interest level up. Today was a particularly bad day with the car as l thought he had settled on one and then off he went again researching more.. This has helped me understand.

user838383 · 30/10/2018 08:13

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user838383 · 30/10/2018 08:15

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headinhands · 30/10/2018 08:16

If never getting really interested in things is weird I don't want normal!

hellraising · 30/10/2018 08:17

I'm like this and have autism. I'm not saying you do, and it's just a part of what makes me autistic, but if you have other symptoms could be worth looking into?

queenofgoogle · 30/10/2018 08:26

I do this and use is purely as escapism. I get obsessed with actors actress, cuisines, countries, people. I do a lot of research on the subjects but I do believe I try very hard to reign it in because I don't feel my husband would understand. I don't make it obvious and I try hard to move on because I feel it's weird but honestly it does help me to cope through tough times.
I also have social anxiety and I do think maybe I'm on the autism spectrum although never checked.

user838383 · 30/10/2018 08:28

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

queenofgoogle · 30/10/2018 08:37

I've just looked up adhd and autism symptoms and I don't have any of them but I do think I have avoidanr personality disorder mildly.
I think it's more about escapism and coping for me as when somethings going on in my life that id rather not think about then I do it a lot more.

Doorrunner · 30/10/2018 08:46

darkparadise1 How much did the whole process cost if you don't mind me asking? Interested for myself.

havingabadhairday · 30/10/2018 08:59

Another one here! Probably fall into the maladaptive daydreaming thing as well!

Just get totally consumed by something, then move on to something else, though I do have a few longstanding obsessions.

totallywired · 30/10/2018 09:08

I agree with lunchboxloony about autism being a spectrum and people can have autistic traits without being autistic. I googled 'autism adult women' as a result of this thread and found I have many autistic traits.

I don't ever get obsessed with tv shows, actors or places like so many pp though. Interesting that those are a particular theme.

In answer to the question of choosing your obsessions, I can't do that, but I decided after a couple of all encompassing obsessions that got in the way of everything else that I had better monetize my next obsession and I set up a business that I could channel my focus into, that's been great.