To expect people to use the nickname I chose?

[ReiofHope]

I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I’m having a little boy. Since I was a child I’ve loved the name Alexander James using AJ as a nickname. (I’ll admit it started as I loved the Backstreet Boys)
Now 20 on this generation of babies has a James and at least one other child with James as a middle name. So I changed the middle name for my son to jason but still want to call my baby AJ.
Over the last few weeks everyone from my step mum to the children on my partners side have been referring to him as Alex no matter how many times I correct them.

It’s not as if they’ve ever refused to use nicknames before we have an Ollie (oliver) harry (Harrison) Albie (Albert) and Mila (Emelia) so why is it that they’re refusing to use my chosen nickname?

Am I just being an unreasonable bitch to expect people to use a specific short form?

If its the Jason part you're attached to and don't want him to be called Alex, then why not just called him Jason nicknamed to Jay? Is that an option. Then like the other nicknames in your family it fits in rather than initals

I’m perfectly fine with a nickname he gets once he’s old enough to have one evolve naturally. And if when he’s still very young he tells me he has a preference I’ll absolutely accept it and call him by his chosen name.
The whole thing I was annoyed at was our family choosing to ignore my choice while he’s a baby and is unable to chose for himself.
IF they came up with a nickname not related to his name I’d be fine with that too.

I 100% don’t expect I’ll be in charge of this forever. Not even really after he starts school. Id just like my wishes to be accepted ininitially.

I am baffled by the responses to this. My son has a full name with many diminutives/nicknames. We said right from birth what our preferred one is and that we would be calling him that. He is 8 now and has NEVER been called by any of the others, except early days by my mother. I reminded her of her wishes when I was a child than my brother was only known as his actual name, and she has not done it since. Everyone else managed to follow our request. If anyone tries to call him anything else, he ignores them, always has done because he doesn't recognise any of the other variants as being his name. Once he notices, he just says 'sorry, my name is ..., I didn't realise you were speaking to me'. It has never caused a problem.

Alexander Joseph Pritchard on Strictly is only ever known as AJ. I can't say I've noticed anyone having a problem with him or saying it's not a name etc.

Stick to your guns OP, and call your son what you are your partner want to.

@steff13 I really like Buffy and I’ve suggested Xander to my family too and they’re choosing to ignore that too.
I meant that I don’t know a Xander IRL

If they want to shorten his first name Xander is preferable.

The other examples you've given are fairly normal diminutives of the names, as Alex is, whereas AJ sounds contrived and naff.

OP I think you're overthinking this a bit. You can call him what you like while he's tiny. It might stick, it might not. They choose their own preferred shortening in the end, or he might prefer not to shorten it at all.

Take my DBro, let's call him Daniel for the purposes of this post. At home, he was always Danny, right up until he started school. Once he started school, he decided Danny was too babyish and he was Dan. Once he'd finished university and become a solicitor, he decided Dan was too casual, so now he's Daniel. You can tell at which point in his life people met him by what they call him! He's still Danny at home though.

My eldest DS is Alexander James and I would never in a million years have insisted he would be called AJ.

He is simply Alex. Family of the older generation tend to call him Alexander.

YABU and Alex is a much nicer abbreviation than AJ

@lofty
The reason I didn’t want to just name him Jason is that he’d end up being called “Little Jason” or “Little Jay” his whole life because that’s how my family seem to distinguish between generations with the same name. I don’t like the idea of him being referred to as “little” all of the time.

If you want him to be called Xander call him Xander.
You can’t dictate what nicknames someone has!

Nicknames tend to come naturally and aren’t thought especially before the child is born!

Change the name back to James. Much nicer name than Jason imo.

When we had our son a cousin shortened his name and I didn't even think I just said Noooo and stated his full name. Took until he went to secondary and there was another boy with the same name for him to have his name shortened. He answers to it but prefers the full version.

Alexander James goes lovely. Alexander Jason really doesn't.

Eh-Jay? Is that an accent thing as it's A as in Bay and J as in Jaywalker.

I actually think it is up to the parent about the nickname, and then the child as they get older. My family asked which nicknames we were using and what we didn't like.

I think you're having a bit of a hard time on here. You like AJ as a nickname and that's all that really matters. If you introduce him as AJ and just keep referring to him as so then it may catch on. Alternatively, it won't (which you can't control) and it becomes a name that mummy calls him. That's completely fine. Unfortunately you can't control what other people call him who know that his name is Alexander.

I have an Oliver so the natural shortening is of course "Ollie" which I'm not massively keen on for him as a little one, (though I fully accept I have no control over it and my in-laws call him that). To me, he is Ollie-pops because I'm his mummy and he's 10 months old and can't yet tell me how embarrassing I am

I don't get why the OP is having such a hard time here.

Both my kids have full 'birth certificate' names and then their every day 'shortening' of those names. They are only known by their everyday names (in fact I'm sure most people don't even know DC2s full name), and that is what we called them from birth, but neither name felt 'official' enough for me so we went for longer names on the birth certificate. I know this is quite frowned upon on MN as most people are just like 'give them the name you want them to have' but I quite like the fact that they have their 'proper name' as well (plus it's good for using when they are naughty for impact!)

Unlike my friend who gave her DD a name and is now a few months down the line trying to make another bloody awful not even a name IMO nickname happen and wonders why people are reluctant.

If you want him to be AJ then just refer to him as that from birth and don't buckle on it. I found when sending out the 'introduction text' it worked quite well saying 'Alexander James (AJ) Bloggs born, blah blah, weighing blah blah Mum and AJ both doing well'.

I will probably get flamed now!

I had a friend called Olivia, who used the Ollie nickname in primary school, but then switched to Live/Livie in secondary. Naturally, I would still go to call her Ollie, but I wouldn't purposefully choose not to use Liv when it's her name and what she prefers. You get used to it.

OP, your family members sound difficult.

Oh and I should add that both of my kids are fully aware they have longer names and that occasionally people who don't know them and only see their full name will refer to them by that name and not to get upset about it (as I have seen on MN before as well!)

Yep I don’t get this. Nicknames aren’t usually decided on before a child is born. I certainly don’t know anyone who picks a certain name because they like a nickname they hope they can use. Totally agree with Dipping.

Unlike my friend who gave her DD a name and is now a few months down the line trying to make another bloody awful not even a name IMO nickname happen and wonders why people are reluctant.

There's your answer though

There are levels of nickname though arent there?

Eg. if you like Ben you will probably still put Benjamin on the birth certificate.

Then there is the 'Charlie but I should probably put Charles on the birth certificate but I don't really like Charles but Charlie is very nicknamey' dilemma.

Then there is Peggy as a diminutive of Margaret type of nickname, where they are nothing alike but you don't want to call your kid Peggy on their birth certificate so you put Margaret?

Then I guess there is the 'I'm going to put Oliver on the birth certificate but insist that everyone calls him Olly-wally-doo-dah' type of nickname

I think AJ is cringey and tryhard

Name him Alexander james then call him AJ as long as you call him that it will stick and if they don't Alexander is a fine name.

I've met a gorgeous baby Xander. Some Alexanders prefer to spell the abbreviation Zander.

Apologies ! I didn’t realise Jason was your fathers name .
My brother is a 42 year old Alexander . He has always been called Alexander by immediate family . However he did become Alex when he went to high school and his wife and close friends call him Alex . My mum hates Alex and always calls him Alexander as do I .
My grandfather was also an Alexander ( nickname Sandy) , as was my g grandfather and gg grandfather .
I think you should call him Alexander Jason with a preference to be called Alexander not Alex when he starts school . You can call him AJ at home and perhaps it will stick . There are a lot of Alexs now but not so many going as Alexander .

Yabu.
Dd has a name eg like Gabriella (not actual name but similar) and I chose eg Ella as the short version but also accepted people may call her Gaby,inch as I don’t like it.
Anyway people have followed my lead and use ‘Ella’, but if they didn’t then I’d have to live with it.
AJ isn’t even the short version of his name! Just choose another name you prefer if you don’t like Alex?