To expect people to use the nickname I chose?

[ReiofHope]

I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I’m having a little boy. Since I was a child I’ve loved the name Alexander James using AJ as a nickname. (I’ll admit it started as I loved the Backstreet Boys)
Now 20 on this generation of babies has a James and at least one other child with James as a middle name. So I changed the middle name for my son to jason but still want to call my baby AJ.
Over the last few weeks everyone from my step mum to the children on my partners side have been referring to him as Alex no matter how many times I correct them.

It’s not as if they’ve ever refused to use nicknames before we have an Ollie (oliver) harry (Harrison) Albie (Albert) and Mila (Emelia) so why is it that they’re refusing to use my chosen nickname?

Am I just being an unreasonable bitch to expect people to use a specific short form?

Of course he is going to get Alex, through his life, because it is nearer his name than AJ. DS had an Ajay in his class at school, he got called AJay funnily enough.

I think the problem is letting it be known before birth what you're calling him. A friend recently worded her birth announcements on SM/paper versions for her relatives, along the lines of, "hello my name is Jonathan but you can call me Jonny!" next to a picture of the baby. And everyone has used that shortening. It may be that horse has bolted OP but you could try that.

Airy fairy your post about Jason is pretty rude!Does it matter if it isn't a top ten name anymore?It is top 50, so not exactly unheard of!

But they won't call him Alex at school if his peg says AJ, his school bag says AJ and he's down as AJ on the school register. Why would anyone pick a random apparently unrelated name to call him if he's called AJ by everyone? No one decided to call the girl named Millie in my child's class Amelia even though that was on her birth certificate - she was known as Millie and she wanted to be known as Millie.

When you register for school they ask you what your child is known as. That's what he'll be known as. People aren't going to be ferreting out the child's birth certificate to see if he was given another full name at birth.

Whether or not you like the name AJ is a completely different matter. And no teacher would refuse to call a child AJ if that was his name, even if they didn't like it. They could refuse to use any name on that basis. "Oh, I won't call you Meg because it says Margaret on your birth certificate." The JP we know (JP determined by the parents from birth) wasn't called Joseph by his teachers - he was called JP.

OP, just don't mention the Alexander Jason bit at all and tell everyone his name is AJ.

SpuntnikBear

Agree,,Alex is a lovely name..AJ sounds a bit 'local authority'

If you like AJ so much, can't you just call him Ajay? Not particularly usual but I did know someone once who was christened Ajay! Would save all the hassle.

@ontopofthesunset...exactly this!

What Ontopofthesunset said.

People aren't going to call him Alex/Alexander if you introduce him to everyone as AJ from birth. And yes at school they ask what the child is known as and that is what they will put on their peg, books etc. It's really not a problem.

The only time will be when a supply teacher comes in and calls out 'Alexander' on the register I have taught children before whose known name doesn't resemble anything like what is on the register!

Yes, the only time we've ever had issues was at the doctors' surgery when the children were small and weren't used to the fact that they had another formal name - though obviously they were with an adult who knew and explained it to them. No one except the doctors uses the names. My younger son is applying for university now and even the UCAS form has a 'known as' box. So he is mentally awarding points to the universities which email him by his "known as" name.

Sorry to shatter your delusions but ‘AJ’ will absolutely never catch on. No one will call him that off of their own accord, sorry.

First of all, it doesn’t have a ‘ring’ to it. A and J together just doesn’t really flow like you think it does, it’s actually a bit awkward to pronounce as it doesn’t roll of the tongue like ‘AE’ or ‘TJ’ etc. Also ‘AJ’ just doesn’t really relate to ‘Alexander’. Most people will naturally go with Alex or Xander as a nickname, ‘AJ’ sounds like ‘Ajay’ which is a nice Asian name but doesn’t really correlate to Alexander. Also middle names can be irrelevant to people, if you were going to go by initials it would probably be first and last initial, most people aren’t as public with their middle name so chances are people will be wondering wtf ‘J’ Is for.

Of course when he grows up, he may never chose to call himself ‘AJ’ and will tell his friends/peers/superiors/partners etc etc not to call him that. Are you emotionally okay with your son personally rejecting ‘AJ’? He has every right to!

I think a nickname of ‘Alex-James’ sounds better. As a 22 year old, no one in my generation goes by their initials, it’s not common.

Call him whatever name you and your partner agree on. Throughout his life different groups of friends and relos will have different nicknames for him. Maybe you’re the only one that will call him AJ, but does that really matter? He’ll probably prefer you calling him that to his full name as he’ll realise after a while that means he’s in BIG TROUBLE.

Also, we used to live near a girl called Tyler. Her mum called her TJ, almost everybody else called her Tyler. No big deal, it was what it was.

Ajay isn't pronounced A-jay, it's a as in cat jay. It's just that I've known two Ajays who had either chosen to, or just decided to go with the flow and accept, AJ as a nickname. I assume it was because a lot of people had mispronounced Ajay as AJ, but they may have actively decided to go by AJ.

Either way Ajay isn't the solution - it's an Indian name with a different pronunciation, so he'd get a mix of ah-jay and ay-jay and the op would still get cross.

Ontopofthesunset
I agree school will tend to run with whatever the preferred name is.

The OP's issue with anyone using any other shortening is going to be an issue though because people can (and will!) end up forming their own nicknames, the child included. Having a preferred nickname is standard. Picking a name on the grounds you like a certain nickname and then having an issue with other common shortenings is unusual.

I've had year 7s come up with their 'preferred name' as what their mum calls them only for them to ask every member of staff to call them something different because nobody actually calls them that. Sure enough 8 weeks in and I'm yet to hear a single friend (including primary friends) call the child by their parental given nickname. They all call the child by the common shortening.

If you want your child to be called 'AJ' why don't you just name him that? And the same with Harry/Harrison, Mila/Emilia, Albie/Albert.

Nicknames come about once the child is born, and usually just 'happen', not predetermined.

Sorry OP (not sorry) AJ is awful. Use his proper name.

If you called him Adolf then they may decide to call him AJ 😂

Fir what is worth my son is Andrew and I was going to have James ( a family name ) as the middle name but the minute people ( Xdh ) started referring to him as aj I switched the middle name !

@Hannnnnnnxo what? Of course it will. If you call him AJ and he calls himself AJ guess what? Everyone will call him AJ. I know a child who has a normal first name but is called TJ by everyone.

If someone tells me what their child's name is, I call them that. I don't say: "Oh, AJ, is that short for something? Alexander Jason? Well, I'll call him Alex". I call the kid AJ because that's what his parents have told me his name is.

Jacksback

Yabu! What a ridiculous post

Ontopof this isn't a child being introduced as AJ though. The OP has overshared her thought process regarding what she wants her unborn child to be called complete with information that his name will be Alexander Jason but she wants to call him AJ. The family members are getting told the "real" name at the same time as her prefered nickname.

The person whose name is being presented as purely of theoretical interest as a platform for a nickname is currently still a foetus, not someone being introduced by the name they are generally known as.

If you want people to call him AJ name him Ajay

If you call him AJ. So will other people. Well some of them anyway. 🤷🏻‍♀️