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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If given a drink, do you finish it?

89 replies

blackshoe · 28/10/2018 08:17

Just wondering about this one. It’s not really important haha!

You live 5 minutes walk from a close friends house.

If you were to pop around a friends house and they were with their partner having a glass of wine/champagne etc.... and they politely offered you a glass.
You accept.

Do you ensure to finish the glass given to you?

A friend has popped around twice in the last few weeks. Whilst dp and I were having a drink. No problem, i love having some new gossip.

I suppose we felt obliged to offer her a drink. So we offered her a glass of nice red. She drank a few sips and left half the glass.

We offered her a flute of some very nice champagne, she hardly drank it.

I personally would make myself finish the lot even if I didn’t like it. But aibu?

OP posts:
Shazafied · 28/10/2018 08:18

Yes YABU! It’s up to her if she drinks it all or not. Maybe she didn’t like it, maybe she started feeling lightheaded. She didn’t know how much it cost, and why should she care?!

nomilknosugarplease · 28/10/2018 08:19

YABU, nobody should feel forced into finishing an alcoholic drink

TaxCredits · 28/10/2018 08:21

Why didn't you give her less the second time?

CarryOnScreamingValenta · 28/10/2018 08:21

I would finish it (unless it was so awful it was undrinkable, e.g. the wine was off). If it wasn't a drink I liked, I'd decline the offer off a glass.

Goandplay · 28/10/2018 08:22

Maybe offer her a ‘sip’ rather than a glass. You could say I’ll give you a little one, and if she finishes it offer a top up?

DaisyDando · 28/10/2018 08:23

I think it’s a bit rude to accept and then take only a sip. However, I went to a party recently and accepted a glass of wine to be polite and then subtly left most of it. So I’m a hypocrite!

StripySocksAndDocs · 28/10/2018 08:23

Weird she didn't say no if she didn't want to drink. Mind you it's possible she feels it's impolite to say no, or because she felt you wouldn't take no for an answer.

Changes are she just didn't like it at all though. I wouldn't finish a drink I didn't like anyway.

AamdC · 28/10/2018 08:24

If it was wine definatley i love wine , tea maybe not im not that keen on tea or coffee and. Would only have a cup too be polite .

Ragwort · 28/10/2018 08:25

Yes I would (but I’d never not finish a glass of wine or champagne), I do think it’s rude to accept a drink if you are unlikely to finish it, you could always say ‘just half a glass please’. I have finished drinks even if I really didn’t like them.

Unsure123123 · 28/10/2018 08:25

Nope. As a limited drinker I think YABVU.

Alcohol acceptance and ability to drink should not be considered in terms of politeness or social prowess. Alcohol is a drug just like any other drug so why do we judge people on how much of the drug they can handle.

Oysterbabe · 28/10/2018 08:25

I usually finish my drink. I had an ex who took the piss out of me for this though. If we decided to leave the pub he would laugh if I wanted to finish my drink first. He said we weren't students and didn't need to neck every drop. It hadn't occurred to me not to finish it until that point and then I felt self conscious about doing so.

autumnleaves1234 · 28/10/2018 08:28

YANBU. If an adult is offered and accepts a drink then yes they should finish it. It's just good manners. Anything else is poor manners but maybe they've never been taught this and accept out of politeness not really intent on finishing it. I'd rather they declined and me save the wine!

IamPickleRick · 28/10/2018 08:28

I always wonder this when I have made a cup of tea and someone doesn’t finish it - maybe they didn’t like my tea 😩 But then I get over myself because I always only drink half a cup and tip the rest away at MILs and there’s nothing wrong with her tea at all. I just never get a chance to finish it.

Alcohol is different, your friend may be new to AA, on a health kick, have to drive somewhere, and not want to go in to all that detail and just says yes when offered.

LadyintheRadiator · 28/10/2018 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Escolar · 28/10/2018 08:29

I think taking just a sip is rude. She shouldn't have accepted the drink if she didn't want it at all. But I'd have no problem with her leaving half a glass. No one should eat or drink anything unless they want to.

JacquesHammer · 28/10/2018 08:31

I think you’re being a bit unreasonable.

I don’t think food or drink should ever be served with the expectation the recipient must finish it all, especially if they don’t like it.

EvaHarknessRose · 28/10/2018 08:32

At the risk of breaking her hypothetical cover, could she be ttc or pregnant and not drinking but not wanting to say she’s not drinking?

Bonez · 28/10/2018 08:33

I wouldn't think twice about not finishing a glass of water or juice. Nice wine/champagne would be down my gullet in no time! I wouldn't offer any more alcohol to this person, OP.

trickandtreat · 28/10/2018 08:43

If I like the drink, I'll gladly finish it! But if it's cheap plonk, forget it. Not saying your wine was cheap plonk, OP but maybe your friend didn't care for the wine you served her?

n0ne · 28/10/2018 08:52

Depends. Some people seem to fill a wine glass practically to the top rather than to the widest part of the glass (doesn't apply to champagne flutes, of course). I'd struggle to finish a massive drink like that. I would try though 

BigChocFrenzy · 28/10/2018 08:56

YABU
Noone should feel obliged to finish a drink or a meal

The old idea of having to clear your plate or drink was when food & drink were in short supply,
not when we have such problems with obesity and alcohol

Also, your serving sizes may be too large

HungryForSnacks · 28/10/2018 08:57

YANBU

I think it's rude not to finish it. If you don't want the drink then don't accept in the first place.

If I really couldn't drink it I'd at least acknowledge it, eg "Thanks for the wine but it's gone straight to my head!" I wouldn't just leave it there

BarbaraofSevillle · 28/10/2018 09:08

Her drinking it when she doesn't want it is just as wasteful as leaving it. If she didn't want it she should have declined or said 'just a little bit for me'.

But I would probably have finished the glass off after she left or saved it for cooking, so leftovers not wasted anyway. Accepting a big glass and a second glass that she didn't want was rude in my eyes but others may think differently. Many may say that if you are offered something you should accept, whether you want it or not.

HRTpatch · 28/10/2018 09:11

How much do you put in the glass? I never pour more than a couple of inches into a wine glass.

Sadoldbagpuss · 28/10/2018 09:11

I would pop what she left into my glass and finish it Blush hate waste