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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If given a drink, do you finish it?

89 replies

blackshoe · 28/10/2018 08:17

Just wondering about this one. It’s not really important haha!

You live 5 minutes walk from a close friends house.

If you were to pop around a friends house and they were with their partner having a glass of wine/champagne etc.... and they politely offered you a glass.
You accept.

Do you ensure to finish the glass given to you?

A friend has popped around twice in the last few weeks. Whilst dp and I were having a drink. No problem, i love having some new gossip.

I suppose we felt obliged to offer her a drink. So we offered her a glass of nice red. She drank a few sips and left half the glass.

We offered her a flute of some very nice champagne, she hardly drank it.

I personally would make myself finish the lot even if I didn’t like it. But aibu?

OP posts:

Bestseller · 28/10/2018 09:14

I think either you decline or you finish it, but but some people (especially those who just happen to be having a drink every time someone pops round?) make declining very difficult. So it depends if you're one of those.

cl61reb · 28/10/2018 09:15

Offer a soft drink alternative. Most people feel pressured into accepting a drink and refusing is often considered rude.

Mammyloveswine · 28/10/2018 09:16

I imagine she's maybe pregnant but not.ready to tell... was she normally one to enjoy a large glass of wine with you?

I would just drink it myself tbh!

Wearywithteens · 28/10/2018 09:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

SpaceCannotBeLeftBlank · 28/10/2018 09:18

This wouldn’t bother me with a soft drink but alcohol is expensive! The waste would piss me off.

Fishcakey · 28/10/2018 09:18

If you don't want it say no thank you. I hate it when people pop round without warning and you have to share your wine.

Opheliasgoldenwine · 28/10/2018 09:18

Unless it was absolutely vile I would finish it for politeness.

Original poster

blackshoe · 28/10/2018 09:22

No no, she’s certainly not pregnant/not drinking etc. We’re good friends.

She’s most definitely said no before, plus we have in our younger days... not too long ago.... got blotto..

I don’t think I gave too much, a small glass of red size. A champagne flute. I wouldn’t worry if it was squash or cordial etc. It’s that these bottles were £30ish. So in essence a good £5 was being chucked away.

Equally I really really dislike any waste. We all are responsible for this planet so every little helps against waste.

OP posts:

DuggeesWooOOooggle · 28/10/2018 09:22

Bagpuss I would too (unless she had obvious cold sores or hideous teeth). Just slyly pop it in the kitchen for later

I feel your pain OP, I hate to see decent and expensive alcohol or food go to waste but it really is up to her how much she drinks. I'd give smaller glasses to your guests in future, you can always top up if they want more.

gamerwidow · 28/10/2018 09:24

I finish all drinks except for alcohol. Sometimes you start drinking and it goes straight to your head and you can’t drink anymore. I wouldn’t force myself to get more drink than I wanted to out of politeness.
I wouldn’t offer in future because it doesn’t sound like she really wants it. That being said I can’t imagine getting upset about an undrunk drink, it’s already gone once you’ve poured it so what does it matter if it’s in your mate or in the sink?

PinkHeart5914 · 28/10/2018 09:26

Yanbu and from now on I’d give her only half a glass tbh. If she doesn’t want it why doesn’t she politely decline? Weird.

As for pp suggestion of her feeling lightheaded 😂 she only had a sip unless she is a mouse I very much doubt that

Yes if I accept a drink, I finish it becuase I am not a toddler

Thingsdogetbetter · 28/10/2018 09:32

It's not waste that's ruining the planet, it's buying the stuff in the first place. Organic waste goes into the system one way or another, consumed or unconsumed. Gross as it may be to think about excreting it creates waste just the same as pouring it down the sink. Buying less and wisely is the responsible thing to do.

NotTheFordType · 28/10/2018 09:37

It’s that these bottles were £30ish. So in essence a good £5 was being chucked away.

Why was it chucked away, surely you would just finish her glass once she'd gone?

MrDonut · 28/10/2018 09:41

If she just took a few sips and left the rest, then I'd assume she didn't like the taste. Maybe next time you offer her wine, give her a small taster and see if she likes it first. If she usually drinks cheaper wines, she might not be used to the taste of expensive wine.

burnoutbabe · 28/10/2018 09:41

yep, i'd find it rude if someone does it regularly, just say NO or "just a small sip" if you don't want it.
I'd definitely finish it off, or say very sorry if for some reason i could not. Or swap it with other half to finish off.

diddl · 28/10/2018 09:44

I wouldn't finish it if I didn't like it.

But if I didn't know whether or not I would like it I'd ask for a taste first.

THat said-why didn't you just offer a taste first?

Unless she has had them both before & liked them?

Bellatrix14 · 28/10/2018 09:46

I feel like she’s trying to be polite in accepting a glass when it’s offered, but then it’s actually backfiring.

I would always finish a drink of something either expensive or that the host had gone through a bother to make (for example a hot drink as opposed to a glass of water) because I think it’s polite to not waste something that you’ve asked for, even indirectly. It would be a bit different if you’d poured her a bucket of red wine, but you didn’t.

I was once staying with a friend and her husband, and her husband made me a gin martini. The first sip I had I thought I liked, but I soon realised I like gin... I don’t like gin martinis. I still finished it though because I’d have felt bad about wasting their gin, which they had bought especially because they knew it was a brand I liked!

Butterflycookie · 28/10/2018 09:51

You could remind her and tell her she hasnt finished her drink yet. I’ve had other people remind me . Although I always finish and down my drink before I leave.

mushlett · 28/10/2018 09:58

I think that’s incredibly rude, why is it now acceptable to waste food or drink?

Seniorschoolmum · 28/10/2018 10:09

YAbu. She may be saying yes to be polite but doesn’t share your taste in wine, or may be on a diet or taking medication that precludes it. Or planning to drive later.

Price is irrelevant. You can’t expect her to know what it costs.
Next time she comes round, offer a class of wine or a cuppa. If she chooses wine, pour half a glass. She’s your friend, just be pleased to see her .

Oysterbabe · 28/10/2018 10:15

She may be saying yes to be polite but doesn’t share your taste in wine, or may be on a diet or taking medication that precludes it. Or planning to drive later.

It's not polite to say yes to a drink you don't want and have no intention of drinking, it's rude.

ShesABelter · 28/10/2018 10:17

I always finish an alcoholic drink.

Give her a half glass of anything in future.

LadyintheRadiator · 28/10/2018 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 28/10/2018 10:26

I hate wastage. Id neck the lot

MarshaBradyo · 28/10/2018 10:30

You can’t really expect someone to finish something but it’s a bit annoying

Next time pour a much smaller amount

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