To not allow DD to drink at home?

[bodysp]

I'm really unsure here now. DH says he doesn't mind and actually prefers it as he says she knows she is safe. I'm not convinced really. DD bought vodka and in the past has got drunk at home, had the telly louder than we would like and although not causing too much trouble, I don't like it and actually would rather her be out. Who is BU?

You're free to set your own rules; but getting g a bit drunk and having the telky a bit loud, are really minor worries.
I'm on the side of doing it at home socially. You don't say age, whether alone drinking as both change things substantially

It would be helpful if you could state how old she is.

How old is your dd? If she is still living at home and is your responsibility then no I would not want her drinking at all, full stop. Your husband's reaction is a bit worrying.

She is 18... sorry though I said

Wow.

She's an adult OP.

Let her breathe.

I'd much rather mine drank at home than out. At least they are safe at home.

At 18 all you can do is ask her to respect the rest of the house, but it's not actually up to you to allow it or not when she's now an adult.

In your own home your rules, so itnis completely up to you to allow it or not, but it doesn't seem too dreadful or anything to me. You didn't say though...is she drinking alone???
It sounds like you want tonsay something, so I'd go for asking her to be doing social rather than anti-social drinking she's old enough to know the difference and to respect that rule in your home
Anti social drinking bad thing to be supported at home

That's alright. She has friends round for drinks? Normal 😃
If she's by herself I would be concerned.

OP hasn't said

She has friends round for drinks? Normal
If she's by herself I would be concerned.

I agree with this. If she's drinking vodka on her own at home, I would be seriously worried.

OP hasn't said

Yabu
She's an adult now, give her some space

She's an adult, and she has the right to decide this for herself. It's really not up to you anymore. The only say you would have in this is if she started to be a nuisance to the rest of the house because of drinking. Otherwise you need to back away and let her make her own choices.

Wow

She's an adult.

You don't get to 'allow' it. It's upto her

Having said that, I would be concerned if she was getting blind drunk on a regular basis while sat at home by herself. But one or two alcoholic drinks sometimes? Get a grip.

If she's drinking on her own, I'd be concerned.

YABVU. She's 18. She will drink whether you let her do it in the house or not. At home you know she's safe and sound and can keep an eye on her. If she feels like she has to hide drinking from you, you never know what sort of mischief she could get up to (or thinking back to myself at 18, even what potential danger she could get into).

Well she’s 18 so she can legally drink.

It depends though - is it a couple of vodka sodas in front of the telly and feeling a bit tipsy? Or is she drinking loads by herself and passing out drunk?

I think the context is important - but if she’s drinking a huge amount by herself i’d be concerned it could hint at alcohol issues.

Love the way everyone goes “yeah she’s an adult she can do what she want”, but actually if you’re living in someone else’s house you have to respect the rules whatever age you are. If she’s sitting drinking alone and watching TV loudly and disturbing everyone then it’s not a great situation is it. And surely not everyone on this board was allowed to do as they wanted when they reached the magical 18? I certainly wasn’t. It took till I moved out for that.

Her being 18 is a game-changer as she can always just buy her own.
I never minded DD having the odd can of cider but don’t like it when she has it on her own in her room. I’ve never bought her spirits. She recently helped her self to a bottle of wine and I went mad though mostly because it was an expensive one!

I don’t see how you can ban her but I would keep a very close eye on it.

People have missed the point. It is up to me what she does at home... I'm not banning her from alcohol, as you have all pointed out, she is an adult and can legally drink. However, I can stop her from drinking at home.

She's 18! You can have house rules such as no loud teles after X time if she is being loud but telling an 18 yr old she can't drink in her own home is needless and bizarre.

Are you teetotal? Because that might change my opinion slightly.

I'd rather it at home. At 18 you can't stop her drinking so better where you know she's safe.

I would ask her to keep the noise down in future if it bothered you that much but otherwise let her be.

My parents never let me drink in the house have friends over much etc. And honestly it just made me spend lots of time in pubs/clubs etc. And when I was skint, in parks or on the beach.

I'd rather my kids didn't drink at all but when the time comes it will always be their safety over my TV volume.

I would feel privileged she actually likes being at home enough to yknow, treat it as her home as well as yours. She'll be moving out soon enough and you will miss her when she's gone xx

People have missed the point. It is up to me what she does at home... I'm not banning her from alcohol, as you have all pointed out, she is an adult and can legally drink. However, I can stop her from drinking at home.

Why have you posted aibu? Just know you’re not if you feel that strongly ☺️

Your daughter gets drunk and turns the tv volume up. I think you need to get some perspective!

M