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To feel sorry for teachers because of some parents

168 replies

abacucat · 27/10/2018 12:37

I suspect the worst part of teaching is some of the parents. Parents who believe their child can do no wrong, parents who bring their child up to be totally entitled, parents who always minimise and make excuses for their child's bad behaviour. It must be frustrating for the teachers.

OP posts:

BrokenWing · 27/10/2018 16:10

Yanbu as long as you realise it works the other way too.

^this, with greater consequences to the children


Piggywaspushed · 27/10/2018 16:29

A crap teacher has bigger consequences for a child than shit parenting? Guessing I am misunderstanding..


claraschu · 27/10/2018 16:35

My sister has been teaching for 30 years. The biggest problem is Senior Management- she will go on about it for as long as anyone will listen.


LaurieFairyCake · 27/10/2018 16:38

Dh regularly comes home with the most ridiculous parent tales.

Gets one dad in for a meeting about his 16 year old son because said son called teacher a 'fat cunt'. (Pregnant teacher)

Dad says 'Well what if she is a cunt".

Then goes further when it's explained to him that the teacher is pregnant and is of course upset by what happened and a restitution meeting will need to take place after suspension between all of them.

"No" says Dad. "That's the black teacher, my son doesn't like the black teachers and I'm not meeting her".

Seriously, where do you start with that shit?!?


Piggywaspushed · 27/10/2018 16:41

I do agree about SLT. Parents are pussycats on the whole.

It's a shame really : I know so many great , compassionate, grounded, intelligent, talented and inspiring people in teaching who can't get SLT roles because the gobshites get there instead.


bandthenjust · 27/10/2018 17:00

YANBU. But I'd say it's worse with the dog end parents rather than the pushy ones.


Dahlietta · 27/10/2018 17:18

Of the 200 or so parents at my school, there are probably 5 who I would say were a pain. Then again, of the 200 or so teachers I know, there are probably a similar number who are also a pain!

I agree with this. The percentage of parents who are a pain, and the percentage of teachers, is roughly the same as the percentage of the general population, I would imagine.
Definitely the worst thing about teaching is senior management Grin


Maelstrop · 27/10/2018 17:37

I echo senior management being the biggest nightmare and I left my last school due to the idiots. I’m not just being bitter (maybe a bit!) but honest to god, some of them were just ridiculous.

I had a parent shout at me down the phone the other week, first one ever, I think, in 20 years. He was ranting about how he wanted to meet me because his son came home after every lesson with me complaining. I duly organised the meeting only for the head of year to say ‘Oh yes, so this was Jimmy’s fourth phonecall of the day about him disrupting lessons.’ There should definitely be some kind of system to let teachers know this kind of thing!

Dad was utterly shamefaced at the meeting. I was the last one to phone him that day, straw, camel’s back etc. Apparently I am a ‘lovely lady’ now he’s met me.


LokiBear · 27/10/2018 17:59

I have been a teacher for 13 years. Im a head of year so have a lot of contact with parents. There are times when you get tricky parents and nothing you do is right. But, there are also lovely parents who contact out of worry for their kid and are very grateful for support that teachers offer. It is swings and roundabouts. Still, I have the best job in the entire world. That is an absolute fact.


Thisreallyisafarce · 27/10/2018 18:03

Dad was utterly shamefaced at the meeting. I was the last one to phone him that day, straw, camel’s back etc. Apparently I am a ‘lovely lady’ now he’s met me.

Well, that's all well and good, but he was shouting at the wrong person. Four phone calls about your child's behaviour and you're shouting at the teacher? Something wrong with that picture.


RolyRocks · 27/10/2018 18:07

Nah, worst part of my teaching day are the teachers/SLT who are so rubbish that they just have more and more tasks/responsibilities taken off them, which leaves more work for everyone else.
At least with parents, I know they just care about their child/children and I can work with them. But then, I am secondary and don’t really see/speak to many parents compared to how many pupils I teach.


Bumbledop · 27/10/2018 18:16

Absolutely agree!


MrsTeachy · 27/10/2018 18:21

I wouldn't say parents are the worst thing about teaching (that prize goes to government numpties telling me how to do my job, and ofsted) but I have had some corkers. People don't believe the crap I have heard from parents! I once got an email from a parent on a Sunday night, wanting a written report on her child's behaviour in time for 8am the next day, I also get emails during school holidays, weekends, requests for outside tutoring, requests to babysit, Ive had parents ask me to bring their child home from school, to record every time their child goes to the toilet and let me know, and to provide an individualised curriculum for their child because the normal one wasn't 'suitable'. Oh, and I've had parents turn up in my classroom and refuse to leave, just hang out watching me teach until I managed to call in management to escort them to the door!
Having said that, I've also worked with lovely families and I'd want to be friends with them if that didn't cross a professional boundary!


LotsToThinkOf · 27/10/2018 18:27

I quit teaching after 13 years and 2 or 3 really awful parents. On the whole they were fine except for those 3 who totally battered my confidence in an already stressful profession. One was just a bitch, one was constantly worried but the 3rd was reacting to yet another stupid strategy put in place by SLT which made no sense. I got sick of justifying myself.


OddBoots · 27/10/2018 18:32

I am starting to worry I might be a nightmare, I have emailed teachers at all sorts of odd hours but I don't expect a response out of hours and I know even during the working day it gets busy so a few days is no problem. I don't expressly say this though as it seems common sense.


HellenaHandbasket · 27/10/2018 18:34

Nah. Worst was rude kids and ever changing goal posts from the government.


Bananacakes · 27/10/2018 18:37

Seriously Hmm
There are good teachers who are probably driven crazy by annoying parents and then there are utterly shit teachers. And utterly shit parents.
Pointless thread as completely depends on the teacher and the parent.


Bananacakes · 27/10/2018 18:47

@mrsteachy I have emailed in the holidays and weekends and evenings , I’ve often done this for very good reason, and I would anticipate a teacher not logging in to emails outside of their working hours, so I would not expect a response outside of normal hours. If I have received one at a late hour, I’ve always been very appreciative and responded that I did not expect them to reply at that hour or weekend etc. (Secondary level)
At the end of the day, at Primary level I would not email teachers unless they’d offered that opportunity. I do however hand over my child for 30 hours a week to people who I need to be able to trust. My daughter got really stressed at school not being allowed to use the toilet when she needed to and this in turn caused her to hold urine for 24 hours and not drink properly, so teachers were requested to try to monitor and encourage fluid and note if she went to the loo. In the absence of a loving parent throughout the school day, who on earth else can be asked to monitor such a situation. I’d like to think a teacher would be sympathetic.


Thisreallyisafarce · 27/10/2018 19:17

My daughter got really stressed at school not being allowed to use the toilet when she needed to and this in turn caused her to hold urine for 24 hours and not drink properly, so teachers were requested to try to monitor and encourage fluid and note if she went to the loo. In the absence of a loving parent throughout the school day, who on earth else can be asked to monitor such a situation. I’d like to think a teacher would be sympathetic.

I am absolutely not unsympathetic, but as a secondary school teacher I simply don't have the time to monitor students' fluid intake and toilet habits. That is a school nurse's job. Do you mean you asked this of a primary school teacher?


merlotmummy14 · 27/10/2018 19:45

I actually think my mum was one of those parents thinking back. I didn't attend school for a year due to severe MH issues and even though they offered nothing but support and refered me on to the proper servcies, she blamed the school for not making me WANT to attend; as if the school had anything to do with the chemical changes in my brain. I also remember her being really rude to a teacher because he made my brother (mr. Arrogant even to this day) stand in the corridor for an entire lesson because he'd forgot his homework a few times - she justified it as unfair by saying they should offer help with the homework as brother didn't know how to do it. Brother was about 16 at the time and perfectly capable of asking for help. Same teacher stayed late to help me and others catch up on missed work a few years later. I hope I never do what she did with my DD.


Shadowboy · 27/10/2018 23:04

Isittheholidays yet- jet list was given out with the original trip letter. About 6 months prior to the residential trip. It’s not my fault it was lost- we don’t keep them on line as they are provided to us by the field studies centre- they change sometimes. I’m more than happy to give out kit lists etc but not instantly at 10pm at night. I did email her in the end. Perfectly politely.


WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 27/10/2018 23:19

I’ve learnt a few quotes that help me as a teacher.

  1. ‘what do you find works as home?’ When parents say we aren’t supporting/teaching etc their children correctly. Usually they are doing nothing at home to support the situation.

  2. ‘there are open applications every year for a variety of subject to teach if you would like to apply?’ In response to when I’m told how they can do it better.

  3. ‘thank you so much for your support in this matter, it really is appreciated’ when parents rock and actually want the best for their children and to work with education not against it.

Catspyjamazzzz · 27/10/2018 23:24

I work in a challenging secondary.

I’ve stood and heard parents saying to their kids ‘you don’t have to listen to these twats/ do what they tell you.’ (Luckily Head says no you do, there’s the front door).

The massive number of parents who believe everything their kids tell them shocks me. Actually believing their child has been given detention/ excluded for ‘yawning’ is quite astonishing.


MumW · 27/10/2018 23:34

I think it's part of the problem of being a consumer and expecting service and a certain kind of response, as opposed to being a partner in the process of your child's learning.
I think that schools/academies that behave as though they are businesses with principals/directors/corporate imaging etc actually perpetuate this and do nothing to foster the partnership in learning?


Tunnocks34 · 27/10/2018 23:39

I have never had any real issues with parents.’couple of pains in the arses ringing to ask ‘why child x got a detention for sitting their quietly doing all their work’ (quickly apologised when informed the detention was for glueing someone’s book to a desk).

My worst part of teaching, is when I have no free periods all day, year 11 revision at dinner, and I’m on duty at break, meaning I get no caffeine or food from 8am until I finish (looking at you Wednesday!)

Also, kids having no pens. Absolutely drives me mad that kids can remember an iPhone X, lipgloss, bottle Of lucazade but nothing to write with.

Benefits outweigh it all though. Love all the kids I teach and I want them to succeed in all they do!

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