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To feel sorry for teachers because of some parents

168 replies

abacucat · 27/10/2018 12:37

I suspect the worst part of teaching is some of the parents. Parents who believe their child can do no wrong, parents who bring their child up to be totally entitled, parents who always minimise and make excuses for their child's bad behaviour. It must be frustrating for the teachers.

OP posts:

abacucat · 27/10/2018 13:02

Alpha 40& of newly qualified teachers leave within 5 years of qualifying. In some schools getting teachers at all is not easy. And trust me, teachers in general are way better than they used to be. But for some parents, they are never good enough. They want teachers to be 100& perfect 100% of the time - that is not possible.

OP posts:

Clionba · 27/10/2018 13:03

No, that's right. Although I have found examples on here where some parents do act like that, rather than partners.


wtffgs2 · 27/10/2018 13:03

Hah! Worst part of teaching, by a country mile, is having to work with idiots who've not actually taught kids for years themselves but who enjoy 'observing' you doing exactly that and then pulling you apart/or not - depends whether you're politically in favour! 


Clionba · 27/10/2018 13:04

Trampire excellent points.


Thisreallyisafarce · 27/10/2018 13:04


Definitely. And when they act like absolute dicks to another adult (the teacher) they expect that adult to continue to be as pleasant to them as before, and they label it "professionalism", when what they are really after is servility.


thebear1 · 27/10/2018 13:06

Yanbu and I am not a teacher.


teachergirl2011 · 27/10/2018 13:06

Parents can be difficult. It's the lack of support and those who believe their children can do no wrong!


Italiangreyhound · 27/10/2018 13:07

YANBU, I feel very sorry for teachers. I think it must be a tough job.


Clionba · 27/10/2018 13:08

what they're really after is servility very good point, thisreallyisafarce


Mrskeats · 27/10/2018 13:08

There are major shortages of teachers in lots of areas. I have my own business after teaching for 10 years. Not a chance I would go back to mainstream education.


whazzer · 27/10/2018 13:09

Ariadnecrete - I would be interested in hearing more about what you do about parents who don't seem to care. I am always shocked by parents who don't seem to care, I always wonder what made them get to that state? What went on that they can't prioritise their child?

There is a boy in my son's class who is a bit of a terror and has what I think add up to really quite serious issues - he treats other children awfully and is very negative.

I think his dad drinks too much and I see him running around the streets and have done so since he was 5 years on his own.

I make a point to invite him over so I can cook him a decent meal and so on. I invite him on outings in the holidays like take him to the movies or a museum where I can.

His parents never go to parent teachers, his mum gloated when she told me this - he does no homework and I think the school are offering more support to the parents.

It is just so sad.


melissasummerfield · 27/10/2018 13:16

Yes i imagine it is , the school where my son attends nursery has some grim parents, they openly stand in the playground saying awful things about the teachers who are actually lovely and dedicated teachers.

One conversation I over heard between two of the mothers was about the homework ‘i bet that fucking homework will start again soon’ ‘just do what i do and dont fucking do it’ ‘hows a 4 yo meant to know what a country is anyway’

Just vile.


abacucat · 27/10/2018 13:19

‘hows a 4 yo meant to know what a country is anyway’

It makes me sad when parents really underestimate what children are capable of.

OP posts:

RomanyRoots · 27/10/2018 13:20

YANBU, there are some terrible parents, I used to teach and even parents of A level had pfb's.

However, I agree with a pp some teachers are dire.


Biscuitsneeded · 27/10/2018 13:27

Hmmm, I have occasionally come across difficult parents but most are OK. The worst thing about (secondary) teaching is, without question, the knowledge that although you hold a degree in your chosen subject, and have also had at least a year's training to teach, people with little or no expertise in your subject (SLT, Ofsted inspectors, government ministers, parents, the world at large) regularly feel justified in telling us how to teach our subject, as if we don't know anything. I have no problem taking criticism/advice/suggestions etc from those who understand my subject and have been teachers themselves. However, being told by a jumped up PE teacher promoted to SLT that my French lessons were failing to engage a very disaffected group of year 10s in a failing school with big behaviour issues, all of whom had been forced by the school to do GCSE French after assuming they could drop it after Year 9, and that their lack of progress was entirely my fault, was truly galling. I moved schools shortly afterwards and never looked back.


morningconstitutional2017 · 27/10/2018 13:27

All jobs have their good bits and bad bits. Shop assistants have to put up with some rude customers some of the time and many don't even have the courtesy to say please and thank you.
Healthcare workers have to care for some patients who are abusive, drunk, etc - long hours too.


isittheholidaysyet · 27/10/2018 13:30

Surely the worst thing is the government changing the goalposts, OFSTED demands and the lack of money?

Parents aren't the "consumers". The service users are the children.

Children are the consumers. But parents are the 'customer' if you like. In law it is the parents responsibility to ensure their child is educated suitably. Sending kids to school doesn't remove this responsibility from a parent.
(Customer is, of course, the wrong word because payment doesn't happen in a state school. But if a parent decided not to send a child to a certain school, that school would have no responsibility for the child, regardless of whether the child wished to consume their education there or not.)


Thisreallyisafarce · 27/10/2018 13:32


No, parents who see themselves as "customers" are worse than the government. At least in my opinion.


Cynderella · 27/10/2018 13:33

Sometimes the parents are one of the best things about teaching. Sometimes one of the worst. Same with management. Same with kids.

Problem parents involve everyone if they can. In my last school, management refused to get involved in parental complaints until parents had talked to the teacher. Obviously, if it was a serious matter, this was skipped, but in most cases, you can deal with 'issues' quickly if you can talk to the parent. Often it's a misunderstanding or the parents are struggling to cope so any support moves things forward.

Those parents who go straight to middle or senior management over minor matters cause a huge amount of work.


Idontbelieveinthemoon · 27/10/2018 13:40

I teach and love my job. I've also come across relatively few of 'those' parents, thankfully.

I know a woman who I'd consider a problem parent and, honestly, when I speak to her I'm so thankful she's not got her DC at my school because everything is either an enormous drama or not her child's fault. Sometimes even the loveliest, kindest children have rough days and from a parents POV I want my DC to know that they can make mistakes, admit to them then work through them. The whole "my child would never do that" doesn't help anyone long term.


spanieleyes · 27/10/2018 13:44

Of the 200 or so parents at my school, there are probably 5 who I would say were a pain. Then again, of the 200 or so teachers I know, there are probably a similar number who are also a pain!


Fundays12 · 27/10/2018 13:46

Ohh yes I feel sorry for teachers some parents just cannot see how badly behaved the little “darlings” are. It seems most common in parents who want to be there young child’s best friend rather than parent them.


ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/10/2018 13:50

I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with entitled dickheads in the line of work.
That includes waiting staff, service providers of all kinds, NHS staff, ambulance drivers, teachers, police and other emergency services, etc. etc.

Especially when it comes down to the old "I pay my taxes so effectively you work for me" (Although surely that must be dying out by now?)

There probably still are some crap teachers but I bet they're outweighed hugely by good teachers worn down by a bad system. :(


AriadneCrete · 27/10/2018 13:55

whazzer It’s great that you invite that little boy over. Holidays can be so tricky for some children and I bet he loves being included with your family.

We do what we can as a school to support the children and their families. Sometimes we give out free uniform, wash uniform in school, refer to Early Help, Social Services, CAMHS/ other agencies, free breakfast club places, free after school club places. We offer budgeting/ finance classes for adults, parenting classes, signpost whenever and wherever other support can be found. I have bought school shoes for children before (I did get this money back from my school though). Nursery- Year 6 get free fruit at break times and our school lunches are extremely cheap. And of course the best support we can give is giving the children a great education.

It’s so hard sometimes because we have some families who have tons of support. Almost every single agency involvement and everyone is doing their utmost to support them... but the child/children are still neglected. In my experience there’s no one singular reason why, usually it’s a lot of reasons.

The bar for removing children is very high. I didn’t realise this until I became a teacher. It’s hard because I do understand why Social Services are reluctant to remove children- outcomes for children in care are extremely low, but I don’t know what the solution is.


PlinkPlink · 27/10/2018 13:57

Ex teacher here

Left within 5 years

Worst part was Senior Management - they were awful.

I quit.

Been happy ever since 😂😂

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