Return of my DD

[Loz55]

AIBU to think my ex-husband is out of order for not returning our 12 year old daughter home from Florida to the UK after a 4 week visit to him during the summer holidays, even though she says she wants to stay?

If he has a green card and isn't a citizen, that makes things a little bit easier, she isn't a U.S. citizen, so it's harder for him to keep her there.
I imagine it will be easy for him to put her on his health insurance.
But she won't be a legal permanent resident.
I don't think schools will check but after a while health insurance might start to run out with no SSN.
I'm confused how long she's been there?

Has he applied for a visa for her to remain? When is her time up? Surely she will be deported, as he doesn't have parental rights to have her stay? Good luck and hope you get to see her soon. Does she have any other siblings in the UK?

This is my biggest fear. Can I please ask -
Do you have an existing court order? Does it specify her usual residence and that she must be returned?
On what basis did she leave the UK? (As in, was she on the VISA waiver programme). If so, isn't she now there illegally as she should have returned on the date her flight was booked?

Thank you, and I hope you get her back quickly.

If he only has a green card he needs to petition to even have her come to the States to live by filing an I-130 and it is sent for consular processing where the child lives (ie. the UK), you generally can't do it from within the country. I think to do that he needs the child's original birth certificate as well. If he enrols her in school and she entered just on an ESTA and ICE does a sweep she could be removed to a detention centre and deported and he could be sent to prison and then what happens to the younger children. ICE has been conducting increasing raids across the country and they will separate children from parents, eg: amp.clickorlando.com/education/500plus-kids-miss-school-day-after-ice-raid and in some cases lose their parents completely:

www.nytimes.com/2018/07/10/us/politics/trump-administration-catch-and-release-migrants.html

theweek.com/speedreads/780151/former-ice-chief-predicts-many-migrant-children-never-reunited-parents

I'd be going straight over there and taking her home. Even setting aside his awful behaviour keeping her there, just her being there long term without the proper paperwork is putting the whole family at risk. Yes she may be deported home to you, but the trauma she would endure if that happened would be absolutely terrible.

How has he registered her at school and with a Doctor etc?

Schools don't generally ask for proof of eligibility, although this is changing under Trump and the Republicans. Most kids who are undocumented children of illegal immigrants, or are illegal immigrants themselves find out when they apply for financial aid to go to college or when they want to get their driver's licence.

Another thing to consider is that if she is there illegally that will close the door to ever being able to enter again, or with up to a decade of bar, even if she gets a full ride to Harvard, gets a job there or marries a US citizen.

More info on the 3 year and 10 year bars here: https://www.vox.com/2016/4/28/11515132/iirira-clinton-immigration?_gl=171d75kk*

Get in touch with these people too, they may be of help in this situation.

If her father's relationship was the basis of his green card and that has now broken down is he even able to stay?

Once you have a green card here in the states you have the right to reside here no matter the circumstances that originally brought you here. The immigration laws of the United States are extremely fair and just, but laws are required to be followed.

The father is risking his residency status (green card) here by having his daughter illegally staying with him. Once the mother accuses him of child abduction and he is found at fault his immigration status will be looked into. He could end up getting deported.

Thank you, I had no idea of that.

No advice, I'm afraid but massive hand hold. Cannot imagine the pain

Is there any progress, OP?

I know it’s been a while, but just looked at this thread again.

Before anyone bothers to troll me for my late post, I am posting this out of courtesy to gottastopeatingchocolate, who asked a question and for an update.

My daughter is still there, i am currently awaiting a court date for a directions hearing, as facilitated by the International Child Abduction and Contact Unit in London. Her Dad will have the opportunity to state if he is willing to voluntarily return her, if not, contact will be arranged and a 2nd hearing will be set. She initially travelled on an ESTA and yes I’ve got a current residence order stating she should live with me. The lawyer is investigating her current immigration status as the US Embassy refused to speak to me as a ‘third party’!!😤 Thank you for your kind wishes.

Wow I missed this thread first time around.
How awful for you OP, I hope it gets resolved. I hate parents who use their children like this.

Please keep us updated.

Jeez you poor thing, this is so horrific. Sending massive hugs x

Other than the tension about her not wanting to come home are you managing to maintain communication with her?

Gosh that is all very worrying!
I bet that she's a child and believes her dad but he's being so dense, this can only mean trouble for him.

We are managing to stay in touch but it can be quite sporadic with the time difference. I always text my daughter and try to call her but she doesn’t always respond in a timely manner. She often seems guarded when we first speak and then she relaxes after about 15mins.

Good luck💐
I hope he isn’t using her for child care

Good luck, OP. I hope it all works out well for you and your DD.

Have you actually flown out there so you can speak with her without her dad around?

Gosh OP.
What a horrible situation.
I am so shocked how long your dd has been away and still no court hearing. -Although I have no experience whatsoever with how long these things take-
Is she defiantly going to school over there?

I'm so sorry op. It is terrifying how these things can happen.

I so hope you can get her back soon. What a bastarding cunt he is.

OP if you haven't already I would speak to a specialist child abduction lawyer in England such as Dawson Cornwall, just to make sure there's nothing you can do this end. Your remedy is probably the Hague convention in America but just check there are no other options here that might help speed things up in America. I'm sure they would do a free chat over the telephone in the first instance. It does seem to be taking a long time.

Wishing you all the best op what a horrendous situation. Hope your dd is ok and comes home soon.