DS punished for class prank

[upsideup]

DS1 is 9 and in year 5.
Last day of school, the teacher left the room for a couple of minutes and DS suggested that the class should all draw back circles on their foreheads and then act normal when she comes back in, he thought it would be a good halloween prank that she would find funny. Most of his class did it, I don’t know how many didn’t but it was only a few.

She didn’t find it funny which is fair enough, it’s not. They were asked whose idea it was and ds eventually owned up, he had to stay in a break to go and speak to the head teacher. I was phoned to be told what he did and that as the ringleader he will have to stay in every lunch time the first week back.
Obviously in the less than five minutes the teacher was gone ds wasn’t able to bully/force 20+ kids into doing it not that he would do that anyway, he mentioned it and they all decided it was a good idea to draw on their own foreheads.

AIBU to think it’s not really fair that he is the only one to get such a harsh punishment from this? And that everyone else who did the same thing is basically let off?

Ah, and he has a history of bad behaviour.

Not really surprising then, is it.

(I think ignoring it would have been a better option).

And then thirty parents want to know why their child wasn't given a chance to clean marker off their head!

I don't think the punishment was particularly excessive for your DS - it's up to the teacher, she knows how much disruption and annoyance theprank caused and she may have taken previous offences into consideration.
I would personally have thought that some punishment should have gone to the children who followed his lead - perhaps a bit less - but something nonetheless. It's quite important that children learn you have to make your own judgements and decisions over behaviour, at 9 they are old enough to do that, and I would expect them to have enough sense not to do something just because 'he told me to Miss'.

As an alternative to punishment for the sheep, I might have thought of something nice the children who didn't join in the prank could do and the silly ones would miss out.

Seems reasonable to me. Will stop ds getting the thrill of being a ringleader!

DistanceCall

But your son needs to understand that in life he will be coming across humourless, overstrict people.

Two things with this
1/ he needs to learn that there is a time and a place
and
2/ Not everyone will find him funny.

Just to be clear his pretty bad behaviour in the first few weeks was fiddling with pencil case/ not doing his work poperly work/ asking how to do things because he didnt listen when they were first explained/doodling in his book rather than shouting/being rude/hurting anyone etc.
This was partly due to him not understanding and struggeling with the work but was definately bad behaviour which we dealt with and he was punished for.

This is what is wrong with our bloody education system, parents jumping in condemning teachers for punishing children for unacceptable behaviour. Your son has not had excessive punishment, yes it was only a prank but it was incorrect behaviour and he needs to be taught this by someone.

The teachers are there to teach. Would you prefer your child was asked just not to attend the school for a week and he learnt how to behave in a class and not encourage the disruption of 20 other children.?

I do believe teachers need to get the respect back of the pupils and in order to do this they do need support of the parents. If a child was a repeat offender (not referring to OP) I would love to say that their parents they have to come and sit next to their DC in class until they learn how to behave, I'm sure parents would take it more seriously when they are having to miss work and having their job disrupted.

*not doing his work properly

And then thirty parents want to know why their child wasn't given a chance to clean marker off their head!

Surely they could have washed it off during the break. Or, if there was no break, the children would have had to face their parents' questions. And it was harmless and self-inflicted.

They are 9. That's old enough to deal with the consequences at home if they do something silly.

I don't think it's ott. Your ds is old enough to know better. He should have been getting on with his work rather than being stupid. He's 9, and old enough to understand that he's disrupted the whole class. He stopped all the others learning and wasted time while the teacher had to sort it out, so no, not too much punishment. He needs to learn that class time is work time. If my ds had done that I'd be really disappointed in his behaviour and wouldn't be dismissing it on a public forum.

How long until he admitted it. The punishment is harsh though if it a build up of things too, if he is a joker and disturbs the class. It also depends on the Teacher some would find it funny others won't.

I usually trust the school to deal with it appropriately. I imagine Teachers have more than enough to do than go through it with me again.

There are few things in life more u funny than a 9 year old boy. Hopefully he's learned he's not as hilarious as he thinks he is and to just get on with his lesson instead of trying to be the class clown.

More unfunny than*

Your son seems quite high spirited and is able to get other kids to follow his lead. Channelled correctly he could be a real leader one day when he grows up. However he has to learn that leadership skill need to be directed in the right way. He knew what he did would probably lead to trouble. I do think that lunch time detention for a whole week seems a bit excessive for a 9 year old ...and as you say the rest didn't have to follow his example. I would encourage him to use it as a learning experience and talk to him about thinking about the likely consequences of his actions before he acts. A lesson now with school supported at home could save a whole lot of trouble when he's a teenager when not thinking first could lead himself and others into far worse scrapes. I would support the school on this op and help him channel potentia real leadership skills in the right way.

Just to be clear his pretty bad behaviour in the first few weeks was fiddling with pencil case/ not doing his work poperly work/ asking how to do things because he didnt listen when they were first explained/doodling in his book rather than shouting/being rude/hurting anyone etc.
So he has form for not paying attention and not following instructions.
I'm highly skeptical of 'parent of student who is repeatedly disruotive claims they were only asking a question because they were struggling, just like the child was doodling in their book rather than shouting (oh they did x that they shouldn't but really that's good because they could have been shouting... how about behave yourself in school?)

Then has been the ringleader roping other kids into disrupting a lesson.

A class prank could be something funny at break or lunch.What he did was decide the middle of a lesson would be a perfect opportunity to disrupt the lesson for zero reason.

School are totally reasonable in my opinion.

Your son sounds like quite a creative little chap, and a born leader. He’ll go far. .

YANBU to think the other kids should have had some punishment. I've always said to my kids, 'Who's the biggest idiot? The one who thought of it or the one who went along with it?' No getting off without a punishment just because it wasn't their idea. I want them to develop critical thinking, not just go along with stuff thinking it will be consequence free.

Just to be clear his pretty bad behaviour in the first few weeks was fiddling with pencil case/ not doing his work poperly work/ asking how to do things because he didnt listen when they were first explained/doodling in his book

Disrupting the learning and wasting the teacher's time. In other words, exactly what he has done this time.

I think given his past low level disruptive behaviour combined with him not owning up immediately the school are sending him a firm message that backsliding with his behaviour is not an option. It does feel harsh but it may be exactly what he needs to ensure he uses those powers of persuasion for good not mischief.

Maybe they can see he’s at a bit of a crossroads and a firm punishment now will save you the heartache of repeated low level punishment for repeated low level behaviour.

I wonder if the others haven't got a punishment because he has form for making others do things.

Unless there is more to the story, it’s totally OTT of the school. Teacher would have been better off ignoring.

OP, do you really believe your son when he said he thought the teacher would find it funny?? I'm sure he knew that the teacher would be annoyed and was determined to just be a pain in the backside anyway (as many 9 year olds are). It sounds like your child is developing a reputation as a trouble maker. Please don't let this happen - you might be amused at his antics when he's 9, but if he misses a lot of learning for silly behaviour now, it can lead to not being able to keep up when he does his GCSEs. Act on his behaviour now while he's still malleable, as it won't be as easy to deal with when he's 14.

There are few things in life more unfunny than a 9 year old boy. Hopefully he's learned he's not as hilarious as he thinks he is

What a seriously depressing post.

This is madness! Why isn't it funny!! I would laugh. Especially as they'd have to go tiund with black circles on their heads for the rest of the day. In fact I'd ban them from cleaning it off.

Maybe it's cos I'm secondary but omg if this is exacts what happened the teacher needs to lighten up!!!

There are few things in life more u funny than a 9 year old boy.

And a hearty seasons greetings to you too, Satan.