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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS punished for class prank

301 replies

upsideup · 26/10/2018 16:07

DS1 is 9 and in year 5.
Last day of school, the teacher left the room for a couple of minutes and DS suggested that the class should all draw back circles on their foreheads and then act normal when she comes back in, he thought it would be a good halloween prank that she would find funny. Most of his class did it, I don’t know how many didn’t but it was only a few.

She didn’t find it funny which is fair enough, it’s not. They were asked whose idea it was and ds eventually owned up, he had to stay in a break to go and speak to the head teacher. I was phoned to be told what he did and that as the ringleader he will have to stay in every lunch time the first week back.
Obviously in the less than five minutes the teacher was gone ds wasn’t able to bully/force 20+ kids into doing it not that he would do that anyway, he mentioned it and they all decided it was a good idea to draw on their own foreheads.

AIBU to think it’s not really fair that he is the only one to get such a harsh punishment from this? And that everyone else who did the same thing is basically let off?

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 26/10/2018 17:02

I always tell my boys that the only one responsible for their behaviour is them. "But he told me to" cuts no ice round here. So I dont think YABU OP. They are children, not sheep.

claraschu · 26/10/2018 17:04

Thanks Brabarian I completely agree.

Goingonandonandon · 26/10/2018 17:04

I'd really like to get the version from the teacher, first hand...

crumpet · 26/10/2018 17:05

It might be a bit over the top but it’s not a huge deal. Hopefully he’ll think twice next time a bright idea comes to him

colditz · 26/10/2018 17:06

Oh for goodness sake, I am amazed at the lack of perspective some teachers have. It's pen, not the blood of the innocent.

SecretNutellaFix · 26/10/2018 17:07

How often does he do silly things though? Pull pranks, not listen to the teacher, encourage his classmates to do silly stuff?

Lweji · 26/10/2018 17:07

@BarbarianMum
I agree, and I'd have expected my son to be punished if he was one of the other boys.
But if mine had been a ring leader I wouldn't complain if he was the only one punished either.

For the school it's easier to punish one child than most of them.

But... was it permanent?

SushiMonster · 26/10/2018 17:07

Seems really OTT having 5 lunchtime detentions

Ynci · 26/10/2018 17:07

I teach year 5. I would put money on this not being the first thing he has done.
It doesn’t actually matter what happened to the rest of the children, HE was the instigator and It wouldn’t have happened without him. To keep a whole class in order, the teacher has to work out who to keep on top of and your son sounds like he is it. I’m more concerned that your don’t seem to realise that he made a big mistake, not the prank itself but getting others to follow him.

Miscible · 26/10/2018 17:08

Given that this is just a prank which harmed no-one, and your son didn't force anyone to follow his suggestion, it is an over the top punishment. It would be interesting to know whether the school is proportionately harsh on things like, say, bullying. Some schools like to be tough on things like silly pranks and uniform infringements, just because that's an easy way of being seen to be doing something, when they don't necessarily get properly to grips with more complex difficulties.

bluetrampolines · 26/10/2018 17:09

Yup. Very good lesson for your son.

kmc1111 · 26/10/2018 17:14

Very OTT punishment for a very, very weak attempt at a harmless prank.

If some kids with circles on their faces caused the teacher to lose control of the class, I imagine there’d be riots if anyone ever pulled off a proper prank.

BruegelTheElder · 26/10/2018 17:15

You have his back if a teacher is abusive, of course, but when a sanction is in the bounds of reasonable behaviour but not what you'd personally do... keep it to yourself

I teach older students and it is so horribly obvious which parents have got overly involved and/or undermined their child's relationship with school

You're not wrong, but it obviously is more difficult for parents to back the school up when they do ridiculous things like an entire week of detention for a 9 year old who drew on his forehead.

Sometimes schools/teachers make it very, very difficult.

glamorousgrandmother · 26/10/2018 17:18

Assuming they didn't use permanent markers I agree that the punishment is excessive If they had used permanent markers they would have had to go round wearing them all day and explained to their parents why they had them.

As a teacher I would also have ignored it completely so the prank would be a failure and they would be the ones to look foolish. As it is I think you have to back the school, staying in at lunch time isn't so bad - it's cold out there.

OliviaStabler · 26/10/2018 17:19

I would put money on this not being the first thing he has done.

From the severity of the punishment this is my thought process too.

Biancadelriosback · 26/10/2018 17:20

Can I just ask how big the circle was and where? Could it have been seen as poking fun at a bindi?

Aridane · 26/10/2018 17:20

Well, he will certainly have learned his lesson!

Patroclus · 26/10/2018 17:21

A big group doing this has the effect of undermining the teacher's authority. I was in a class for 2 years or so when this sort of thing was always going on and I hated it. Horrible learning atmosphere and ended up not learning anything because the 'prankers' were pandered to.

bellabasset · 26/10/2018 17:21

A good lesson in upsetting your pupils. End of term kids playing a harmless prank, why couldn't the teacher have laughed with their class?

A friends ds and the whole class get kept in for minor incidents, teachers can't bsl

Catrina1234 · 26/10/2018 17:22

What nonsense - the teacher must have gone OTT - obviously questioning the class whose idea it was - that in itself sounds like she was taking it far too seriously. OP's son eventually crime of the century! It's so sad reading this thread as most of you whilst agreeing the punishment was too severe are in agreement with the teacher. I don't think this teacher has control of the class as kid's know who they can pull pranks on and who they can't

Can't wait to retire - from teaching maybe? Your talk of punishments and deterrents and the possibility of getting bolder and instigating something worse next time - dear me - did he accidentally trip up a kid causing him serious injury. How do you know the punishment will make him think twice about pulling such a prank again. Do you realise that 2/3rds of prisoners commit further crime within 12 months of release, especially in the teenage age range in YOIs.

Anyway if I was the mom I'd have a word with the teacher about
unnecessary punishments. Come on you lot - lighten up - and before anyone asks I have 30 years of working with children in the 5 - 16 age range.

Patroclus · 26/10/2018 17:22

And if you cant do the time dont do the crime.

Poppyinagreenfield · 26/10/2018 17:23

He was the ringleader. It is not a very significant incident. I would ignore it.

Is he interesting or gifted in other ways that you can build on.

Feefeetrixabelle · 26/10/2018 17:23

Why the circle on the forehead? It’s not something the teacher could have found personally offensive is it?

Pebblespony · 26/10/2018 17:24

Does he have a history of pranks? Maybe the teacher is sick of it and wants to stamp it out before it gets worse. He encouraged the others and so is more guilty.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 26/10/2018 17:24

Yanbu
I'm a bit Hmmat the teacher not dealing with this herself without having to get the head involved. Quite ott imo.